why do people think they have the right to decide what and how I'm going to get married?

[Beaverhausen]

I'm supposedly getting married in two weeks- my fiance and I have very little money and time to spend but we wanted to do a little more than go to city hall.

My family is on the other coast, his kids from his first marriages are all 6 hours away (by car) and either in college or working. They don't have a lot of (any) money or time to spend to come down here.

We tried and tried for weeks to come up with a way to get our families to be at the ceremony but there was no way to do it.

We decided to have a tiny wedding with 7 of our friends on the beach in Malibu and dinner afterwards at a restaurant on the beach. My very nice boss offered me her beach house in Oxnard for the weekend.
We are getting married on a thursday because my fiance has a screwy work schedule. We got the marriage license yesterday.

I had talked with my fiance's kids and thought that they were OK with not being at the wedding-again, we tried and tried and just couldn't figure out how to get them there.


Well, one of the exes sends my fiance an email last night saying it will be bad "karma" if we don't invite the kids. She is trying to make him feel guilty - as if he doesn't already.

I am so upset about this - shouldn't weddings be happy? Should the bride and groom decide about the wedding? Who the fuck do people think they are to butt into our plans?

I would love to have them here, but we thought everyone was OK with our plan.

I'm so pissed off and hurt now I could scream.

[Gormy Cuss]

1. It's bad karma to let your ex dictate your wedding plans.

If his children are all adults or close to it they should be mature enough to understand his decision.

eta: I was married across the continent from family and friends. We made nice photo albums complete with notes on the ceremony and presented them to each set of parents. Perhaps you could do something similar for the kids.

e again ta : Congrats! I hope the ceremony is better than you could have imagined.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

2. My dear Beaverhausen...

You two do what you want, and to hell with the rest of them.

You tried to accommodate them, and it didn't work.

So, do what you want!

Send the invitations to everyone, and let them figure it out, sweetie...

It's YOUR day...

Oh, and ........Congratulations! I wish you many many happy years!:party:

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. Yeah, what Peggy said: Fuck 'em!

Enjoy your wedding!

[insanity]

4. put up a webcam and invite the offended parties by skype

Then everyone is involved. Alternatively, just ignore them because your wedding should be yours.

I tend to tell people who try and run other's lives to fuck off.

[sarge43]

5. Tell ex to do something rude with that karma.

You did invite the kids. That, for whatever reason, they can't attend is their affair, not yours and particularly not hers. You did what you could to have them attend. Oh yes, also inform ex that if she wants the kids to attend, she can pay their way.

It sounds like you've planned a very nice wedding. If you can, post some pictures.

[mnhtnbb]

6. Your fiance needs to ignore the ex. You need to ignore the ex--she obviously

has an agenda. Ignore it.

[tigereye]

7. you should do what works for you!

If you tried to work it out, you did your best. Enjoy your wedding day and weekend!

[Orsino]

8. If you're adding a new member to the family...

...it is a good thing to involve the rest of the family.

That being said, my wife and I went to a JoP with a couple of witnesses. I support your desire for the wedding you want--but listen to the suggestions your loved ones have. Nod your head, even, before going and doing what you want.

[NNadir]

9. First, Congratulations! Second, it's not the wedding but the marriage that counts.

Truth be told, my wedding was pretty tacky, a drunk "preacher" in a wedding chapel in Lake Tahoe during a blizzard that prevented my wife from having real flowers. She had a leg brace on because of skiing accident earlier in the day.

On hearing of our intention to marry, the first words out of my father-in-law's mouth was "I'm not paying for the wedding!" which (I now know) is Italian for "I can't stand your fiance and I don't approve of this marriage." I am the father of two of his grandchildren, fine young men, and the faithful long term husband of his daughter.

For everything else, the marriage is wonderful.

I wish you the same. Nobody has the right to do anything but wish you happiness, which all of us here do. Be at peace.

[rcrush]

10. Vegas

Or your nearest drive through wedding chapel. Go find one. The look on the faces will satisfy you for years.

[madeline_con]

11. Fuck this ex with the big nose and mouth. It's your day.

You two have fun and be happy. Your plans sound like you'll have a beautiful wedding! The fiance's kids aren't having a probelm with it, the ex is. Tell the Ex to fuck off. It's just an attempt to mess up your happiness.

[Skittles]

12. YOU NEED TO KICK SOME EX ASS

that is just WAY out of line