So... how does one broach the subject of holidays w/ a new S.O.

[MissMillie]

He's got his family, including an elderly mother. The mother's not likely to agree to travel for any of the holidays, unless it's to her other son's house.

I've got my family. For Thanksgiving, I had already agreed to travel (a couple of hours by car) to my sisters house.

I usually go to my parents' to cook Christmas dinner on Christmas day, but this year, they are traveling to FL. I usually do some sort of traditional New England meal on Christmas Eve w/ my son and my son and I open presents then. My guy does a big Christmas Eve gathering at his house.

It looks like we won't have any time together if we stick to our usual stuff.

There is room for compromise on my end, but I am nervous about bringing the subject up. I really don't want to invite myself into any of his family stuff.

(There is this to consider: the relationship is definitely serious, so I may not need to invite myself anywhere. But I really don't want to wait until the last minute for the invite. I'm a little nervous that I may end up leaving someone in my family alone, so I'd rather get the discussions out in the open now, so that we all can get a sense of what is possible.)

The good news is that so far, he has made what could be difficult conversations very easy. (It may very well be that he loves me... and would rather hold my hand than have a fight over something stupid like who is cooking what or driving where for which holiday.)

[datasuspect]

1. get drunk

and just show up.

that's how i approach the holidays.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. You can say, "Hey, SO, the holidays are coming up"

and then you tell him that you are sorry, but you already have plans for Thanksgiving - and invite him to come along if that's possible - but that you can negotiate around Christmas.

And since you don't have to do the Christmas Day thing, perhaps you and son can move your tradition to that day, and include the SO.

But, really, it's no big deal to talk about it - just bring it up.

[hippywife]

3. It isn't even Halloween yet!

Quit rushing things! You're as bad as the retail stores! :rofl: :hug:

[Iggo]

4. Like this:

Dude. Holidays. What's up. Let's get this hashed out now so it doesn't become a problem later.

That should do it.