What was the worse thing you did as a toddler ?

[BlueJazz]

I got this idea from another post and it brought to mind an incident that made my parents very happy.. NOT!!

When I was about 3 or 4, one of my dad's friends came over to our house and brought his son...which was about the same age as myself.

We were playing outside with the garden hose and suddenly I remembered that my dad had said something about going down to the store and getting some gas for the car. (lol...you know what's coming!)

So the 2 of us came up with the totally brilliant idea of filling the cars ourselves ...which we proceeded to do! After we played "Gas Station" we went inside and announced (proudly) to the parents that we saved them a trip down to the store.
(I had never seen my father's face green before!)

Actually, they took it quiet well and to this day I remember my father under both cars draining all the "Gas" that we installed.

In a weird way, I recall this whole scene with fond memories.

I'd like to hear other toddler/young folks stories. :)

[woo me with science]

1. poked the eyes out of a goldfish

they looked like shiny beads. it never occurred to me that it would *hurt* him. when they told me i cried for days.

i am still guilty about it, and trace my involvement in animal protection to that event.

[BlueJazz]

3. Awww....that's precious...you didn't know any better.

Geez...another short story.
When I was about 6 I threw a rock at a Mocking bird (never really thinking I'd hit him)..Well it did and killed him. I cried up a storm and to this day, still feel guilty about it...

[woo me with science]

17. hey, you deserve forgiveness, too.

i feel better now....do you? :o)

[BlueJazz]

23. Yeah...I suppose I do.. :)

Isn't it strange how long we humans can carry some little thing (s)
around in our gut.

Boy...now I think about it, wouldn't it be scary if we felt absolutly no guilt over such things? :)

[montana_hazeleyes]

45. Bad luck

to kill a Mocking bird. But heck,being only six,free pass on that one.

[CO Liberal]

2. I Did Something Similar....

...putting sand in the tank of the family Studebaker during a trip to the Jersey Shore.

[kmla]

4. Hey, RL. I can beat that.

Imagine, if you will, a young kmla. About 3-1/2 to 4 years old.

Dad of kmla comes home with a '58 Mercury, with a brand new paint job. (This is around 1965 or so). Young kmla must have seen the body shop working on the car, because that would be the only explanation for him walking around the car, and WHACKING it with the peen end of a ball-peen hammer approximately every 18-24" or so.

Young kmla made it 2/3 of the way around the car before Dad of kmla finally realized what young kmla was doing. And to this day, if it weren't for Mom of kmla, young kmla would have never reached his 5th birthday.

[BlueJazz]

6. ROTFLMAO!!

LOL!

[TheMightyFavog]

7. Are we talking one of these bad boys?

Wow, nice ride.

[kmla]

9. I dunno. Could be....

I just remember whacking the piss out of the car, thinkin' "I'm helpin' Dad fix this thing!"

[TlalocW]

5. I can't remember how old I was

But I was under five, and for some reason the genius couple getting married who were friends with my parents thought I would make a great ring-bearer. Wrong. The church was very large, and I recall my perception of looking down the aisle - to me it looked like it was totally dark at the end where the altar was supposed to be. Plus I had a bunch of strange looking people (this was the mid-70s) looking at me. I panicked, turned around and started running and crying. A friend of the family scooped me up before I got outside and tried to make me do it again, but I wouldn't. They got my older brother to substitute.

I don't know when or if I'll ever get married, but if I do, there's no way in hell I'm having kids in the ceremony (or even at the wedding if I can get away with it). They're too easily distracted, and they take away from whom should be the focus of everyones' attention.

TlalocW

[ConcernedCanuk]

8. Well, it wasn't just "me", but I suspect I was the "ringleader" - -

.
.
.

There was myself, and the twins (girl and boy), 11 months to the day younger than me outside in our diapers/shorts on a hot summer day playing around a wee wading pool.

Mother was inside doing the dishes in the kitchen which had a picture window in front of the sink where she could see the whole back yard.

Feeling the call of nature, mother made a quick dash for the washroom, and the first thing she saw when she came back to the kitchen was three sets of clothing laying by the pool and not one child around (it was a BIG back yard!)

I can't imagine the panic as she raced around the house, yelling our names, and getting no response, going back in the house and calling everyone she could think of on the phone - -

After what I can imagine was a terrifying 20 minutes or so, Mother gets a phone call from some asking her if her three kids were all walking now - -

Just to shorten the story, this woman had noticed three naked toddlers walking happily hand in hand down the sidewalk over a half a mile away from our house!

And no

I don't remember any of this, I was waaaay young!

I don't think anything we did after that ever scared my mom as much as THAT day!

[zbdent]

10. Probably about three, I "killed" a puppy.

Here's the story.

Our dog had puppies, I was all happy.

As they got older, but before "adopted", I was playing with one on the porch. I saw some other kids playing, so I put the puppy into the cooler on the porch and ran off to play.

Years later, I recalled the incident, and realized what I had done.

Now, fast forward to about my mid-twenties.

I pass by my mother, who is talking on the phone to a friend. She's recounting the story. Got past the point where I left. Here, she later went looking for the missing puppy. Found it in the cooler, and she thought it was dead. She calls up her sister, freaking out. Apparently, the puppy was still getting air, and had just been pretty chilled. The puppy revived, I suppose, and went on to lead a normal life with his/her adopted family.

My jaw dropped to the floor when I realized that I had not killed the puppy. I told my mother that I had believed for years that I had killed the poor thing!

[jpak]

11. One day we decided to transform our home into a Haunted House

Haunted Houses of course need broken windows.

Soooo...

My twin brother and I started bustin' pane.

My mother ran out just as we rounded the next side of the house and didn't catch on until she heard glass breaking.

By the time she caught up to us we had kicked in all the basement windows and smashed all the first floor windows on 3 sides of the house.

My parent's thought the whole thing was hilarious - but we got our hides tanned anyways...

:)

When we were ~3, my Mom would pen my brother and I in the fenced-in back yard for an hour or two after my Dad left for work (her quiet time).

One day , we noticed that the gate was unlocked - and we took off running.

We got all the way into downtown (more than a mile away) and ran past the post office.

The neighbor across the street was a postman and became quite concerned after seeing no parent following us.

He chased us down and hauled us back home - one under each arm.

My Mom didn't have a clue we were gone 'til he showed up on the front porch.

And boy did we howl.

:)

My brother and I also fell out of a 2nd story window while my parents were giving a dinner party.

They put us the bed early (we were three then) but we decided to lean up against the window screen in our room to watch the full moon.

We fell asleep.

The next thing I remember I was in mid-air, so I yelled "Bombs Away!" (my favorite expression at the time).

My parents heard "Bombs Away" and two thuds outside the dining room window.

We weren't hurt (just got the wind knocked out of us) but the doctor had to come to give my Mom a sedative.

and we got to stay up late.

:)

And then there was the time our cat had kittens. My Mom explained the whole process - right down to eating the placenta.

My brother and I then convinced my sister that she would have to eat her placenta when she had kids.

She became a nun.

:)

[woo me with science]

20. LOL!

I love your presence of mind to yell "Bombs away!" :)

[NashVegas]

35. Oh. My. God.

You must have had a mighty interesting household.

[ConcernedCanuk]

54. Your "Haunted House" story reminds me . .

.
.
.

We had a huge yard, property was about 300 feet by 150, back when people had "space"

Our yard had three apple trees and a pear tree.

There were 4 of us within 3 years of each other so we played all sorts of games together, one of our favorites was "apple fights" where we would try to find the rottenest apples on the ground to throw at our beloved siblings.

Well, you guessed it, one missed it's target and went sailing through the dining room window, which unfortunately was not open at the time.

Ma and Pa had gone for a walk just after lunch, so we raced inside to see how bad it was .

Glass all over the place, rotten apple smeared and sliding down one wall - we we're DOOMED!


I don't know how I thought of it, (I am the oldest of the four) I delegated one to clean up the wall, the rest of us picked up all the glass and threw it outside, and while we were at it, cleaned off the table and started doing the dishes.

When our parents got back the dishes were almost done, the dining room was spotless, I put on my best teary-eyed soulful face(I used to be good at that) and "explained" how one of the chairs had hit the window while we were cleaning up the table.

We all got praise for our initiative at doing the dishes and hugs and "it's OK's" for our misfortune!!

:bounce: :bounce:

[supernova]

12. Spillled Kool-Aid on mom's new rug

LOL!

I was also about three, maybe a little younger. Mom was out somewhere, working I guess. I was at home with my sister who was in her mid-teens.

Mom had expressly told me NOT to eat and drink in the living room with the newly-installed beige, 100% wool rug.

My sister made a new batch of cherry Kool-Aid. Of course I took my cup into the living room. Now this cup had a built-in straw, but was not a sippy cup.

I promptly dropped it on the rug, making a nice bright, cherry stain on the rug that was STILL VISIBLE when I took up the rug last summer, some 33 years later. :crazy: My sister tells me I panicked so bad "Mom's gonna kill me!" that it made her laugh like mad. :D

[woo me with science]

15. ha ha....my brother and i dragged salami across the carpets

we smeared the rug with salami many times before our mother found out. we were trying to teach the dog to track a scent.

[BlueJazz]

21. That's funny !

lol!

[Westegg]

13. When I was about five, I put my hamster...

...on the top of our "jungle-gym" and made him walk the top rung. Must have been nine, ten feet up in the air. He fell. Landed on his back and began to convulse. I can still see it to this day. He excreted a hamster-turd the color of blood. My sister (who was there, but not at all to blame) ran and told my parents. My dad had to euthenize the poor guy. More than 30 years later, I have never---will never---get these images out of my head. Damn. I still feel like a horrible murderer! Amazing that DU can get this kinda stuff out of me. I've never even told my shrink. Hell, maybe I should...

Please forgive me, if you can. If you can't, I'm okay with that.

[BlueJazz]

16. Man....I understand.

I have a close friend who is a therapist and she has told me how events such as yours can really stay in the "Guilt" part of your mind.
It's actually a lot more common than folks would believe....a lot of people bury that stuff so deep that it's truly blown all out of proportion.
And of course, you've been forgiven by probably everybody except maybe yourself. I can say this! (look at my post #3)

[Westegg]

24. Thanks. That helps.

[VOX]

55. I'm right there with you, Westegg...I killed a lizard when I was five...

My family was vacationing up in the mountains. I spotted a small lizard sunning itself on a large rock. I was enthused -- and even a tiny bit fearful -- so I picked up a small stone and tossed it in his general direction, to try and make him move away. In a million-to-one shot, that stone landed directly on the lizard and did him in instantly.

I came totally unglued. I did in this poor little innocent lizard-guy. (I'm getting choked up now even as I type this!) My parents tried to console me, but I was just beside myself with shock.

I have ruminated on this incident several times a year, every year since it happened.

So I totally understand, and I certainly forgive you -- as pompous as that may sound.

[Skittles]

14. I burned a hole in my dress playing with matches

I guess I was around seven; to this day I can still feel how bad my butt hurt after I received a MAJOR spanking. It cured me of playing with matches ever again. :o

[shanti]

18. pulled a dresser down on myself

i had the drawer out to sit in it (it was my "car"), but when i sat down the whole thing tipped over dumping the fishbowl on the top to the floor, when i promptly cut my thigh on the broken bowl.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

32. Ouch!

Before my youngest was toddling around, I read a list of "babyproofing" suggestions in a magazine, just to make sure I wasn't forgetting something.

One of the suggestions was to make sure tall dressers were bolted to the wall, to prevent this kind of accident. I never would have thought of it. You're really lucky that you weren't injured more seriously!

[shanti]

43. you're right

but safety wasn't really a feature of the 50's! i remember that incident as HIGHLY traumatic. the docs had to hold me down to sew up my wound.

[shanti]

44. i just thought of another zinger!

i don't remember it, but my parents told me that when i was about 2 yrs old, i walked two houses over to the colonel's house (dad was in the air force) crapped on his front lawn, and was caught! lol!

[hippiechick]

19. Stuck baloney on the living room wall

I didn't like baloney. Still don't.

Oh, if you count age 5 as being a toddler, I punched an older neighbor boy 'cause he was a snotty rich kid who made fun of me.



:hippie:

[NashVegas]

22. I Caused a Gas Oven Explosion

All week, I'd been imitating my mom and playing 'Susie Homemaker,' sticking empty muffin tins in the oven and such. One day, my mom was at the next door neighbors, only for a spell. My older (by 8 years) sister was supposed to be keeping watch. My mom had left her Zippo lighter.

I remember sticking my head in the oven, I remember flicking the wheel. I don't remember anything after that, but I was told mom heard the *boom* next door, came running home to see my sister holding my head under a faucet.

I had to get a crew cut shortly afterwards, and also received one of those little Betty Crocker ovens for kids. No permanent harm, or burns, thank goodness.

[BlueJazz]

25. Good Grief! ..that is scary.

It's funny because you were not hurt.
Now I think about it...it's a good thing you were inside the oven and didn't wait for the whole room to fill up with gas.
The outcome would have been much different. :)

[NashVegas]

33. You're Right

Especially the 'funny cause ...'

On the plus side, it forced the parental unit to teach a 5 year old about kitchen safety and how to use various instruments responsibly earlier than she might have, otherwise.

Some of the stuff in this thread is hilarious.

[Papa]

26. I ran across JFK's grave

I was a youngster about 2-3 years old. My folks made the trip to DC to see DC and JFK's grave. I darted under the ropes and ran across the grave and his eternal flame to the shock and horror of the onlookers. I remember doing it, but I don't remember why i did it.

[VelmaD]

27. I wasn't so bad...but my brother was horrid...

The worst thing I remember doing was going around the house shutting all the doors when my little brother was too short to be able to reach the doorknobs to turn them. :evilgrin:

My little brother's story is much worse. When he was teeny, maybe about 2, he somehow got into the kitchen drawers and got my mom's meat tenderizer out. (You know what I mean...looks like a hammer kinda.) Anyway, he proceeded to beat on the dining room chairs. That was bad but it got worse. He then moved on to the piano. He took little chips out of the keys on my piano. I'm talking a beautiful 100 year old instrument. My mother had to send him to his room and couldn't deal with him for hours because she didn't want to do anything while she was still angry.

[nini]

28. Ran outside and down the street naked with a towel for a cape.

I understand this happened many times. :evilgrin:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

29. 2-3, I was in the bathtub, I though how cool it would be

if all the bathroom was like the bathtub, ie, flooded. I proceeded to throw all the water from the tub outside, on the bathroom floor.

I remember my (way) older sister telling mom "poor little thing, he doesn't know what he's doing."

That offended me. I had a plan, I had a procedure and I knew very well what I was doing!

[Xithras]

30. Turned my hallway into a lake

I was 5 or 6 and wanted to play with my toy boats. Since the bathtub wasn't big enough for a full scale naval battle, I hauled out my gallon tub of playdough, built "dams" at both ends of our hardwood floored hallway, and proceeded to flood the whole thing with about 3" of water by stopping up the sink in the connecting bathroom and letting the water rip. My mom realized that something was wrong when she yelled up at me about a half hour later to turn off the sink. I yelled back at her "But I'm not done yet, my big boats still won't float". My mom, who was used to me playing with my boats in the bathtub, came upstairs to see why I was running the sink water and FREAKED. They eventually had to re-sheetrock the hallway, replace the entire floor, and replace a part of the ceiling in the family room below.

Oops :dunce:

[peekaloo]

31. First day at our new Baptist church

I wore my duckie underpants (bedtime only) and when my family was introduced and asked to stand up to be recognized, I stood on my head in the pew. My mom aged before my very eyes.

I was 5 at the time. I would later further humiliate them at my baptism at the age of 8.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

34. i tried to murder my brother

the day he was born...with a large rod...i was three....

[Nikia]

36. I ate some things that I shouldn't

I guess that I wanted to put everything that I encountered in my mouth. Some of them were kind of gross. I am too embarassed to mention them specifically.

[jpak]

39. I had my stomach pumped umpteen times before I was 5.

I remember one time, all 5 of us kids had colds and my Dad had us lined up on the couch to give us nose drops assembly-line style.

We HATED nose drops.

Just as he was going to squirt the first in line, the doorbell rang.

When he left the room, my twin brother and I grabbed the nose drops, dumped it out behind the couch and put it back on the coffee table - giggling like crazy the whole time.

When my Mom came in to finish the job, she freaked and accused us of drinking the damned nose drops!

Out came the Ipecac...

Too clever by half I'd say....

[bleedingheart]

37. these are my charming stories

When I was about 3, I took nail polish and painted one of my mother's dressers with it. My sister who was a lot older than me got in trouble for not watching me...

When I was 4 my sister was watching me and I proceeded to stick orange pits up my nose... my sister thought I would suck them into my nose further and choke or die...she was so freaked out that I thought she would kill me. I later got paid back for this when my daughter stuck a lego up her nose... which I had to remove with tweezers (luckily it came out or we would have had to go to the ER.)

I also recall coloring my body with pens and getting in trouble for that too.

[revree]

38. Painted my walls with poop

OH, wait, that was in my first year. Guess that would make me an infant...

[MAlibdem]

40. i told my brother's babysitter she was "fat and ugly and stupid"...

...she was

[SOteric]

41. I used to bite my fingernails

and then swallow them. My mother detested this habit and told me to stop it or they'd ball up in my stomach and I'd have a big tummy and a tummyache to match.

I was maybe 2 or 3. At the next opportunity that we were in a grocery store I saw a pregnant woman and registering the association I pointed at her and loudly announced: "I know what you've been doing!"

But the best childhood story I've heard comes from a colleague of mine who, not being present, shall remain nameless. He's an airforce brat and even as a wee tyke had a fascination with planes. He used to zoom all kinds of things around the house. Imagine his mum's dismay when she found him entertaining a parlour full of visiting officer's wives by zooming around the vibrating dildo he'd fished out of her bedside table.

[Red State Rebel]

42. Hitchiking at age 3....

My sisters and brother and I were being babysat by my Aunt who was living with us while both parents worked at a local egg farm. One day when I was supposed to be taking my nap I snuck outside and started hitchiking to their work. Out on the 2 lane blacktop an older man picked me up and I told him the name of the place I wanted to go and he took me.

When I got there I realized I was probably going to be in big trouble and hid for a while before finally giving up and going to my father.

Another time, my dad came home for lunch in the box truck he used to deliver eggs for work. I snuck out and hid in the back of the truck - it was open and had a canvas that would roll down if you wanted to. Dad comes out and takes off for work and I sat with my legs dangling off the back of the truck opening cartons of eggs and every once in a while tossing an egg onto the road just to watch it splat. I don't remember what happened when I got there and got caught.

I don't know how my parents survived my toddler hood - those are only 2 stories of my escapades.

[cryfordawn]

56. Ran away from NY

at age 3 with a box of Kleenex going to Florida. All I know is that I was mad at my mom and was moving in with my aunt and uncle from Florida. The box of Kleenex was for my tears.

[Kathleen04]

46. I put clear nail polish on my eyelashes!

I somehow had gotten the idea that it was like mascara and my father had blow air on my eyes to dry the polish and then trim my lashes off (they did grow back!).

And our living room TV when I was a kid had a slot in the top of it to keep the remote control in..I stuffed the hole full of colorful playdough which proceeded to dry in there and was really difficult to clean out. I still have the TV (sans playdough), God only knows what happened to the remote since there was no where to put it there for awhile. :)

[montana_hazeleyes]

47. This is one of the best threads ever!

!

[trappedoldman]

48. A bad habit.

I use to have the nasty habit of looking under the skirts of mannequins at the department stores. Sometimes, I'm still temped :-)

[MisterP]

49. Crawled under my cousin's wedding dress

at about 4, didn't get some peanut-butter-sandwich crackers (my cousin was wearing black shoes like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz)
placed a wodge of duct tape on my hamster (came out all right after an olive-oil massage)
rubbed foundation into our beige carpet to make it peach, like the bordure of my Grandma's carpet

[ashling]

50. I was an exemplary toddler

NOT!

I dumped a box of Tide in the washing machine and stood there to wath the suds come out. (but then my brother was an accomplice, so does that one count?)

my oldest daughter peed on her Fisher Price record player

My dad used to tell a story about using the butter churn for a slop jar back on the farm (1920s rural Texas)(he claimed it was an accident)

[woo me with science]

58. LOLOL: Re: peeing on the record player....

My 3-year-old nephew approached his father and said, "Dad, I think I might be in trouble."

Dad asked why.

My nephew replied, "Because when I was getting an apple just now, I accidentally peed in the refrigerator."

[Interrobang]

51. I wasn't too much of a tyrant, but...

I can remember once when I was about 2 1/2 or 3, I caught bronchitis, and the doctor gave me some really horrible-tasting orange medicine to take. My mom set me up on the kitchen table and fed it to me, and I held it in my mouth. When she said, "Come on, swallow it," I went PHHHFFFFFFHHH!!! and spat it all over the kitchen! (I'd still rather swallow pills than liquid medicine.)

Also, when I was around the same age, I'd just had surgery on my Achilles tendon on my right leg so that I could walk properly (the second of two surgeries; the first was on both legs), so I was in a "walking cast" up to my knee, and it had a little rubber heel on it. I was so enamoured of the little rubber heel that I used to go around whamming my foot down on anyone's toes I could!

(That said, when I was in the full casts, both legs to the upper thighs, my mom was carrying me from the car to the house, and she bashed my legs on the doorframe!)

I'm sure my mom could tell you other ones, but those are the two that stick in my head the most!

[scarlet_owl]

52. I ate a worm.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

57. (Goes to scarlet_owl's profile to see gender) Hi Lil! (nt)

[Pithlet]

53. I found my mother's bottle of Charlie perfume

and proceeded to drench myself in the stuff, head to toe. I reeked of Charlie, even after my mother gave me a good scrub down. I was about 3 or 4.

When I was a little older, my sister and I took a few eggs out of the refrigerator and hid them in a "nest" in our room, hoping to hatch some chicks. When our bedroom started smelling of rotten egg, my mother found the culprit, and was pretty mad at us.

[ScreamingMeemie]

59. I don't remember doing this but when I was 1 1/2 and we were moving

out of our flat to a new home I decided to leave the renters a gift. I took a red crayon and scribbled all over the toilet, walls, bathtub, sink and floor of our bathroom. My mother says it looked like a preschool version of Psycho in there. :hi:

[johnnie]

60. Good laughs..

This thread is funny as hell...A lot of good stories.
I can think of two off the top of my head. One was when my fathers music suddenly stopped playing and when he came to check it out, I had my pants down to my ankles and was taking a leak on his amplifier. Blew the sucker out. I was bout 3 or so I guess.
The other one is one I won't ever live down. When I was 6 months old we got a cat that was named Tisha (after Morticia from the Addams family). As a small child, I ended up pulling out 95% of her whiskers. The poor thing had maybe one over one eye, two on her left side of her snout, two over the other eye or however it ended up.
She lived till I was 21 and she remained a loyal cat. They must forgive easily. She died in my arms and I was chosen to bury her. Great cat, but the guilt of the whisker tragedy haunts me till this day...lol.

[Scout]

61. best thread I've seen in a looooong time!

worst thing I did was probably when I made my mom break her thumb!

I was almost 4. My brother was new to driving, and my mom, brother and I were in the car ... brother stops car at gas station to fill up, and mom and I got out (can't remember why). I darted away from her towards the street, and she slammed her hand in the car door.