*sigh*....OK...here goes....

[LeftyFingerPop]

I was driving to the store to pick up a few cases of beer, and I see this attractive woman walking down the road hitch hiking. She was wearing a snorkel and flippers, which isn't too unusual around here, even though there are no bodies of water to speak of.

She gets in the front seat and we strike up a conversation.

She spoke in broken English, but I could not really tell what her native language was.

She said something about "seducing the driving man" and "making the chest hair on the driving man spark and burn".

She reached inside my shirt and started to ferociously rub and massage my chest hair while whispering "spark chest hair, spark".

At the same time she was doing this, she was rubbing her flippers on the carpet of my truck, creating sparks.

Well, I don't have to tell you what happened next.

My chest started to smoke and burn and singe, and all the upholstery in my truck caught on fire.

We both jumped out of the truck simultaneously.

Her last words before she ran off were..."I seduced you via your burning chest hair, and my flippers burned your truck".

[Iggo]

1. Score!

B-)

[A-Schwarzenegger]

2. Did your truck keep going down the road while it was burning?

That would had been pretty interesting to see what would happen
with that, since it was happening already.

[Call Me Wesley]

3. I think I just decided,

to answer all your posts from now with an Otto Waalkes video. Don't ask me why, there's no answer, it's just ... existential ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km1_cTentgA

[JohnnyLib2]

4. and thus the Burning Man was born....

:toast:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. Running in Flippers

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

6. Fucking terminators.

I HATE when they do that.

[suninvited]

7. was it good for you?

:hide:

[BuelahWitch]

8. Are you a firebug, LFP?

:shrug: One out of every seven posts of yours involves some kind of flames...one has to wonder about these things...

[LeftyFingerPop]

9. I did accidentally burn most of my pubic hair off...

in a portable toilet at a concert in Louisville KY in 1990. :hug: :hi:

[EastTennesseeDem]

10. This thread is useless without pics.

/runs and hides

[LeftyFingerPop]

11. No pics, and it grew back.

:hi:

[BuelahWitch]

13. That's a really harsh way to get a bikini wax LFP

The actual method is painful enough...:hug: :hi:

[Skittles]

12. LFP as usual, screaming to have his ass kicked

boy just cannot get enough

[dixiegrrrrl]

14. You sure it was a woman???

[Strong Atheist]

15. Is this a pun/take off on something, or a typical LeftyFingerPop non-sequitor? Because, frankly

I don't get it...

:shrug:

[BuelahWitch]

16. On second thought...this has all the makings of a GREAT reality show

"American Pyro with your host LeftyFingerPop" You could be the Alistaire Cooke of reality TV!:bounce: