I know I'm going to be sorry I asked, but I need a gag gift idea.

[Misskittycat]

A very close friend is turning 62 tomorrow. He was always very healthy, a marathon runner...but he started feeling lousy a few months ago. He put off going to the doctor because of no health insurance. Well, about ten days ago, he had no choice but go to the ER where he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Congestive Heart Failure. A week later, he had open heart surgery. He was just released from the hospital yesterday. Looks like he's going to be okay, but it was iffy for a while because of the advanced stage of the disease.

Now that his family and friends are so happy and relieved that he is not about to die at any moment, we are ready to really celebrate this birthday.

Anyone have any (reasonably good taste)gag gift ideas, now that we can all joke about his close call?

[Kali]

1. anatomically correct chocolate?

[newcriminal]

5. Is anyone else having a hard time figuring out what this is?

[Ptah]

6. a chocolate heart

[newcriminal]

8. Thank you, my mind was in the gutter.

I know it's been awhile since I've seen one, but I hoped I could at least recognize one if I saw a picture of one.

[Kali]

9. yeah sorry

it's a crappy pic but it was already in my photobucket account and I'm on slow dial-up AND too tired and lazy to find a better version.

[Strong Atheist]

2. No ideas, but does it have to be a gag gift? Why not a regular bday gift? nt.

[Misskittycat]

3. Ok, never mind. I'm sorry I asked.

[msanthrope]

4. Spam. Truly, it's the all purpose gag gift. There's also the

Beenie Weenie, or a can of Spotted Dick.

Or maybe a big jar of cinnamon red hearts?

[snailly]

7. Why don't you get him something uplifting rather than reminding him of death?

Something fun the like zoo or a park near you with a nice bbq. I just don't think now is the time for gag gifts.

[quakerboy]

11. If I almost die

I want as many jokes as possible, especially if I am getting better. Particularly if its a heart thing. I don't want to be treated as an invalid, i want everyone to let me know they know I'm not dying. Long as its not mean spirited. I guess different people have different ways of dealing with things..

[snailly]

12. Yeah, me too.

I just didn't know where the gaggy gift thing was going. I just don't want peeps being made fun of.

[Quantess]

10. If you were nearby, I'd let you have my

"I'D RATHER BE JOGGING" belt buckle from the mid-1970s.

[Misskittycat]

14. That belt buckle would be perfect; so would the red candy hearts.

The reason for the gag gift (in addition to regular gifts) is that the last 2 weeks have been so horrifying for him and for all of us who love him -- including his kids, who were way beyond freaked out -- that it's a relief and a joy to be able to joke about the whole thing for a little while. He knows he is the luckiest guy on the planet because he didn't in fact drop dead weeks or months ago, considering how bad his heart valves were.

On Monday, I was in my friend's hospital room when his every-Monday running buddy called to check on his progress; so I joked and said: "So, Mike called to find out where you two are running today?" He laughed and enjoyed that.

[Quantess]

17. Well, you know he's going to get back into shape slowly...

so maybe he'd appreciate something optimistic like one of those step-counters (not sure what their real name is, you know, those things that tell you how far you walked today total).

A person like that is going to be motivated to get back on his feet, and although he'll be weak for a while, I bet it would cheer him up to remind him that someday he'll be running again.

[Ahpook]

13. My uncle was the king of gag gifts at xmas

That is how we celebrated every year. Instead of the mad rush to buy a bunch of crap, we enjoyed our company:)

Anyway, one year he wrapped up a box of chocolates with a bite taken out of each one:) One year he got me a black light poster of Elvis. But that wasn't quite enough that year. Another poster of that Hulk wrestler..person.

One year a ceramic pink flamingo to place in the yard. Probably the worst was a bottle of really cheap tequila with an earthworm he dropped in.

Just some ideas

[Misskittycat]

15. We are not usually the gag gift types, but somehow some laughs seem in order.

[merh]

16. The perfect gift for a heart patient

:silly:

[HopeHoops]

18. One Christmas I gave my F-I-L a 3 inch cork stopper "FROM THE EPA"

It was his favorite gift. He carried it around town showing it to people - "See what my no good son-in-law got me for Christmas?"