The Love Doctor is BACK!!! Get your romance on with Mr. Scorpio's advice

[MrScorpio]

I had a bangin' time yesterday, in my attempt to advise you folks on how to get some. I want to do it again. Unfortunately, that thread I started yesterday eventually turned into a sex thread.

We can't have that.

The goal here is for me to help you get the hook up so you can go off and rent that sleazy motel room in order to do the deed. We do not need to know about the sticky details here on DU.

Let's concentrate on matters of romance and love instead, not matters of sex.

However, I understand that there may be the need, from time to time, for the Love Doctor to address particular sexual matters. It's only natural.

But, in order to prevent this thread from devoluting in a dreaded sex thread like the other, I ask that you use a non-sexual metaphor to describe the deed. I.e., car repair: (Love Doctor, how do I get my husband to lube my chassis before adjusting my carburetor?)

If we all do this we'll all end up better in the end.

[joeybee12]

1. It's 6:30--I'm going to bed now--what can I do to enhance my love/

romance life. Oh, good night--seriously, crawling into bed with a movie and two cats! I hope you don't saysomething like I need to stay awake later!!!!!!!!

[MrScorpio]

2. Is your loved one with you right now?

If now, then where?

[Lauren2882]

3. Do you have a link to the earlier thread? n/t

[MrScorpio]

5. Here you go

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x893338

[Lauren2882]

6. Thanks! n/t

[ProudGerman]

4. What's the best way to turn off the desire for companionship?

Seriously, fuck love. What's the best way to accept lonliness/singlehood? If you can help me turn off this need to help make someone happy, I'll be set.

Please don't say drink more, heh.

[MrScorpio]

7. You may not like the answer

Turn into a right-wing, christy-fundie Republican.

Those fuckers only love three things; money, power and a self-inflicted torque adjustment.

Sex is a no-fun zone. (Only between a man and a woman, for the purpose of procreation, blah, blah, blah)

You need some love, Stolzer Deutscher, you don't need to go over to the Dark Side.

[ProudGerman]

8. are you sure?

Can't I be a cynical, spent husk of a man, who believes in progressive ideas, and helps his fellow human?

And no, I don't need love.

[MrScorpio]

10. Love and compassion goes together like hand in glove

We all know how that "Compassionate Conservatism" turned out to be one big fucking scam, don't we?

[DS1]

9. Dear Love Doctor,

I've tried everything. I'm at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore. I've made her gourmet food, taken her for walks in the fields, brushed her hair when it was tangled (she has a bit of a hard time doing that herself for physical reasons I'm willing to overlook), I've brought her apples, new shoes, you name it.

I'm crazy about blondes, I always have been, and I really think this is the one.

Warmest regards,
Desperate in Massachusetts

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. shes beautiful

[DS1]

13. pfft! Some love doctor YOU are!

:eyes:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. lol

i am shallow...

[MrScorpio]

12. You know true love when you have it

Go with your feelings.

[DS1]

15. Saddle up!

:hug:

[MrScorpio]

16. I've always wondered why girls love horses

Until a girl told me why.

Let's say I can't compete in THAT department