Post Your Favorite Dumb Joke From When You Were A Kid:

[Dinger]

Or a snarky little rhyme.

[Bunny]

1. What's Irish and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture. :eyes:

Actually I think I was an adult when I first heard that, but it still qualifies as a dumb joke, right? :crazy:

[Richardo]

13. I heard that one (also as an adult) as "What's Irish and sits out in the rain?"

:hi:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

2. Something too stupid to type out in detail

told by my older asshole brother, something along the lines of a traveling salesman who has to take a shit, driving along a lonely road next to a pumpkin patch. Can't hold it, cuts a hole in a pumpkin and shits in it. Drives back by a month later (after Thanksgiving) and feels guilty. Tells the farmer what he did. Farmer runs to the phone and calls and says "Sye? This is Guy. That was shit in your pumpkin pie!"

[trof]

3. Q: Why did the little moron throw the clock out the window?

A: He wanted to see time fly.

[newcriminal]

4. sung to the tune of If your Happy and You Know It

Got a skeeter on my peter knock it off
Got a skeeter on my peter knock it off
Got a skeeter on my peter and I'm afraid it's going to eater

Got a skeeter on my peter knock it off

[ashling]

36. Thats worse than

a chigger on your jigger

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

5. When the log rolls over we shall die

we shall die...ants on a turd, haunting some schlub in a barn. Geeze, my brother really had a thing about shit!

[bif]

6. What would you do if you had a million dollars?

I'd buy a new butt because mine has a crack in it.

[cinci_democrat]

7. Ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer...

bartender says - "I'm sorry, but we don't serve food here"

Kill me, but I still think it's hilarious. :)

[PassingFair]

40. I loved that one too. Here's my favorite knock-knock joke

Knock Knock.

Who's there.



I EAT MOP...



:rofl:

[swishyfeet]

49. I'm totally gonna use that!

[Broken_Hero]

8. Okay,

Why did the soldier salute the refrigerator?



































Because it was a General Electric.

[Ava]

9. mine is horrible for a child, but i thought it was hilarious

q: how do you kill a blue elephant?
a: with a blue elephant gun.
q: how do you kill a pink elephant?
a. squeeze it until it turns blue and then kill it with a blue elephant gun

[MineralMan]

10. Some stupid joke about someone named Johnny

F***erfaster. First grade. We laughed like crazy, but had no idea why.

[Doc_Technical]

11. the rest of the joke:

Johnny was having sex with a girl and his mother calls
him,"Johnny! Johnny F***erfaster!"
and Johnny yells, "I'm going as fast as I can, Mom!"

[pokerfan]

14. I heard that one too

It's high comedy to a seven-year-old.

[busybl]

35. that was the biggy at our school too.

[mikeargo]

12. Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine.

[Dinger]

15. Why Can't You Add 4 And 4 In Front Of A Dinosaur?

You might get "ate" (eight).

[Dinger]

16. Another One:

There were 10 copycats in a boat; one jumped out; how many were left?

None, they were copycats, remember.

[meow2u3]

17. How do Germans tie their shoes?

In little Nazis.

[Kutjara]

18. What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

What's brown and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's Last Movement.

What artist had smelly fingers? Picasso.

I've got a million of 'em...unfortunately.

[Yavin4]

19. What Is Sticky, Long, Green, and Smells Like Bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

[Common Sense Party]

53. Oo, that's awful!

I love it.

[mia]

20. Is your refrigerator running?

Then you better go out and catch it.

This joke seemed hilarious when we made phone calls to strangers at random in the middle of the night.

[NecklyTyler]

57. Prank phone call to grocery store

Hello

You got Olive Oil in a bottle?

Yes we do.

Better let her out, Popeye is getting mad!

[handmade34]

21. how do you get out of an elephant's stomach?

...run around until you get pooped out!

[handmade34]

22. knock, knock

who's there?
olive
olive who
Ohhhh, I love you too!

[Manifestor_of_Light]

23. Bar jokes.

Two lions walk into a bar.

They ask for a beer. The barmaid says, "I'm sorry but we don't serve lions here".

First lion jumps over the bar and eats her.

Later, first lion says, "I'm sleepy".

Second lion says, "It must have been the bar bitch you ate".

(Barbiturate)


Tacky, tacky, tacky.......

[rebel with a cause]

24. spell pig backwards and then say funny.

This one lasted for years and then came out again when I had children. :silly:

[NecklyTyler]

58. Go up to a girl and ask her to look down her blouse and spell ATTIC

A

Tee

Tee

I

See

Oh you guys! - SMACK!

[Terry in Austin]

25. Ask me if I have a banana in my ear

Ok, do you have a banana in your ear?

Sorry, I can't hear you -- I have a banana in my ear.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. How do you make an elephant float?

2 scoops of ice cream, a bottle of root beer and an elephant.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

27. Knock knock

Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the tub! I'm dwowning!

[Auggie]

28. What's green, dances and sings?

A: Fred Asparagus

AND

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

[gbate]

44. Love that knock knock one about the orange and banana.

[applegrove]

29. Knock Knock

Who's there?

Jackie Gleason's underwear

[Manifestor_of_Light]

30. Smokey the Bear.

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because every time his wife gets hot, he beats her with a shovel...


:rofl:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

31. The scholarship fund.

Richard Pryor and Michael Jackson's scholarship fund?

The Ignited Negro College Fund.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

32. They were gonna put Richard Nixon's face on Mount Rushmore...

But they didn't have room for two faces.


:rofl:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

33. knock knock

Who's there?

Sam and Janet.

Sam and Janet who?

Sam and Janet Evening...you may see a stranger...
you may see a stranger...across a crowded room....


:rofl:

[proteus_lives]

34. Trying to trick someone by saying....

"Hey bend over and spell run as many times as you can."

"R-U-N, R-U-N, R-U-N, aww fuck you guys!"-The most common reaction.

[Vidar]

37. What was Adolph Hitler's real name?

Richard Potato.

That's why they called him DicTater.

[cleveramerican]

38. Whats the difference between here and there?

The "T"!

[cherish44]

39. This one was HILARIOUS when I was in about third grade...

Why don't chickens where underpants?

Because their peckers are on their face.

[peekaloo]

41. Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.

[Bertha Venation]

42. I made this one up, I think while at McDonald's.

I liked to take the pickles off my burger and eat them. Here's my joke.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pickle.
Pickle who?
Pickle I'll eat you!

Yeah... I think I was probably four or five.

[Robb]

43. How does an elephant ask for a cookie?

(extend arm, speak muffled by your bicep and make your hand mouth the words)

"May I pleash have a cookie??" :D

[Tuesday Afternoon]

45. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?

Dam! :o

[krispos42]

46. What's the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?

His ass.

:rofl:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

47. Why do elephants have wrinkled trunks?

Because it hurts too much to iron them.

[swishyfeet]

48. What's black, white, red all over and can't turn in the hallway?

A nun with a javelin through her head.

hey, I was a kid.

[hamsterjill]

50. Another black and white and red all over

When we were kids, we told this one:

What's black and white and red all over?

If the person answered "newspaper", we'd say, "No!!! An embarrassed zebra".

If the person answered "An embarrassed zebra"...

Well, you get the drift!

[Pool Hall Ace]

51. Two elephants were sitting in a bathtub

One elephant says to the other, "pass the soap, please."
The other elephant answers, "no soap radio!"

[Doc_Technical]

52. France is laying claim ot the Rock of Gibraltar.

When they get it they are going to
rename it The de Gaulle Stone.

[Roon]

54. What do you do if your kotex catches on fire?

You tampon it.

[JTG of the PRB]

55. A nun, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a bar...

The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

[Manifestor_of_Light]

56. Why is James Brown like a Tampax?

He's uptight, outta sight, and in the groove!!!!

[NecklyTyler]

59. Under the bleachers by Seymour Butts

I know it was raining cats and dogs because when I went out side, I stepped in a poodle

[Name removed]

60. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[doc03]

61. Chester Goode from Gunsmoke was

cleaning out the stable when Miss Kitty comes in and hikes up her dress and says "shove it in Chester'. Chester says "the whole shovel full Miss Kitty".