YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN:

[Hepburn]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA WHEN:

Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income (and you think
it's normal).

You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice it.

You don't know anyone's phone number unless you check your cell phone.

You begin to "lie" to your friends about how close you are when you
know darn well that it'll take you at least an hour to get there (see
below).

Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance,
takes about "twenty minutes."

You drive to your neighborhood block party.

In the "winter," you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the
same day or mow your lawn in your shorts on New Years Day, and maybe
sunburn.

You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.

If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're
definitely driving.

Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.

You know what "In-'N-Out" is and feel bad for all the other states
because they don't have any.

Stop signs stand for, "Slow To Observe Police."

You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.

You eat pineapple on pizza.

Your cell phone has left a permanent impression on the side of your head.

You think that Venice is a beach.

The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.

You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "562." Best area code: "310." Nobody but cowboys come from the "909/951" because it's the only area with room for horses, trailers and huge pick ups with gun racks. Only yuppies allowed in "714/949."

You call 911 and they put you on hold.

You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.

The gym is packed at 3 pm....on a workday.

You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It
doesn't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you
are just better than them, for whatever reason.

You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a
McDonald's, Subway or a Starbucks. (Do we have to go two miles for a
Starbucks?)

You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean.

You know the meaning behind the name of the 405 freeway... because
it takes 4 hours to get one way, and 5 hours to get back.

It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news
station: "STORM WATCH".

The Terminator is your Governor.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from
California!

:hi:

[Symarip]

1. You know what "Sigalert", "PCH", and the "Five" mean.

YES. Fucking aye, right.

[Hepburn]

2. LOL....

...you betcha! :hi:

[Eyerish]

3. Or you call your friends to let them know a car chase is on the TV...

:rofl:

[Hepburn]

4. ...

...:rofl:

And they do NOT have to tell you which local station in LA is covering it cuz it is all over the tube no matter what channel!

[Symarip]

5. You know you're from the hood in California

When you recognize the get away car and/or the house they ran into.

[Hepburn]

6. And....

...you spent at least 6 months in juvie with one of the guys you see the LAPD hook up!

:rofl:

[Eyerish]

10. My fav was the one where the guy slowed down...

long enough for his mom to bring him some smokes :rofl:
It like some people get bored and do it just for the entertainment of it all...

[Hepburn]

18. Bwhaaaaaaa!!

I remember that one....:rofl:

[Iggo]

34. You crazy.

We only call to let our friends know when the chase is passing their house!

:rofl:

[Tommy_Carcetti]

7. While in the same spirit....

You Know You Are From Florida If...

Your Socks are only for bowling

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes.

A 'good parking place' has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.

Your winter coat is made of denim.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.

You're younger than -50- but some of your friends are over -65-.

Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.

You've driven through YeeHaw Junction.

You know that no other grocery store can really compare to Publix.

Every other house in your neighborhood had blue roofs in 2004-2005.

You know that anything hurricane under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.

You dread "love bug" season (and you know what "love bugs" are!)

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as just Andrew, Charley , Frances , Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma......

You know what a "snowbird" is and, more importantly when they'll leave.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty 'average'.

'Down South' really means Key West .

Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to church before!

Ties? We don't need no stinkin' ties!

You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and just one sweatshirt (and it is on the hanger in the closet).

You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls..

A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level (even at DisneyWorld )

You know the four -4- seasons really are: hurricane season, love bug season, tourist
season, Summer.

You've actually hosted a hurricane party.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee , Withlacoochee and Micanopy.

You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.

You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.

You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years (oh yeah!)

You recognize Miami-Dade as ' Northern Cuba .'

[Hepburn]

9. OMFG....

..."love bugs!!!"

In the mid 70s my spouse and I purchased one of those new, huge RVs with the fiberglass bodies and the HUGE mo-fo wrap-around windshields in the front. It was 32 feet of everything possible ~~ including a central vac system and on-board Onan generator w/ two roof mounted air conditioners!

Well, we headed back East ~~ to the mid-West to visit family ~~ and then over to the Eastern coast and down the route along the Atlantic. Things were just great UNTIL we hit FLA in the LOVE BUG season.

OMFG...:wow:

I saw a yellow and white 32 foot rolling hotel turn into a bug splattered heap!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

23. Personal story: It wasn't in Florida, but rather South Carolina.....

...mid May, and I was driving back for the summer to Maryland from college. And I get to where I-95 crosses Lake Marion. As I'm driving over the bridge, I begin to notice it is snowing, rather heavily. And I start thinking to myself, "That's odd. Last I checked it was 70 degrees out. Why is it snowing like this in the middle of May in South Carolina?"

That's when I realized it wasn't snowing but rather I was being innodated by thousands upon thousands upon thousands of love bugs. After I cross the bridge I pull over and the entire front of my car is just covered with dead bugs stuck on it. It was one of the most surreal things I had ever seen.

[Moondog]

11. Heh. Great list.

[catzies]

45. That was awesome. This Califfornian spent the 1st 1/2 of her life in Miami

So I can laugh equally at both lists! :rofl:

Especially loved the Indian names...we had a Micanopy St. in my neighborhood, and it crossed Coacoochee Street!

[Symarip]

8. ADD

You refer to the police helicopter as the 'Ghetto Bird'.

[Hepburn]

12. Don't you mean...

...a CIRCLING ghetto bird?

[nini]

20. LOL

:thumbsup:

[bif]

13. You know you're from Michigan if...

You show people where you're from
by pointing to a spot on the back
of your left hand. (Especially useful
if you're from the Thumb or the
Little Finger.)

The only place in the world can you
experience all four seasons in one day.

You know what a 'party store' is.

You've never met any celebrities.

"Vacation" means going to Cedar Point.

At least one member of your family disowns you the week of the
Michigan / Michigan State game.

Your idea of a traffic jam is 40 cars waiting to pass an orange barrel.

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian....eh?

You drive 86 mph on the highway and pass on the right.

You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

It's easy to get Vernor's ginger ale, Better Made chips, Sanders hot fudge sauce, and Faygo pop.

You know how to pronounce "Mackinac."

You've had to switch on the heat and the air conditioning in the same day.

You bake with SODA and drink POP.

The movie "Escanaba in Da Moonlight" wasn't funny. You consider it a documentary.

Your little league game was snowed out.

The word "thumb" has geographical rather than anatomical significance.

Traveling coast-to-coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

You measure distance in minutes.

When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but is only 100 miles fom Hell.

Your year has two seasons: Winter and Construction.

Home Depot on any Saturday is busier than toy stores at Christmas.

You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

When owning a Japanese car was a hangin' offense in your hometown.

You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six-pack and a bucket of smelt.

You know that Big Mac is something that you drive over.

You can see a car running in a parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

You end your sentences with a preposition; example: "Where's my coat at?"

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.

You think of the four major food groups as beef, pork, BBQ sauce, and beer.

You carry jumper cables and snow chains in your trunk.

You design your kids' Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

Driving in the winter is better because the pot-holes are filled with snow.

Your favorite holidays are Christmas,Thanksgiving, and the opening of Deer Season, which you consider a National Holiday.

You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

You learned to drive a boat before you could ride a bike.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

You’ve ever used the word “bogue.”

The "Big Three" means either Ford, Chrysler and GM, or Little Caesar's, Domino's, or Hungry Howie's.

You think alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder.

Your definition of a small Michigan town is one that doesn't have a lake.

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

You attend a formal event in your best clothing, finest jewelry, and snowmobile boots.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

The orange barrel is considered Michigan's 'other' lighthouse.

[Blue_Tires]

19. alkaline batteries named after a Tiger outfielder??

LOL at that!!! you win the innernettes, sir!

[MrScorpio]

30. Damn straight, I'm from Michigan

And I love it

[MorningGlow]

14. Snarf

I haven't lived in Southern California, but my brother has been there for about 30 years, and I've visited enough that I can relate to just about every item on this list. Gotta send this to my brother--he's gonna love it, especially "Nobody but cowboys come from the '909/951' ". He's in Riverside. Hardly any ranches there anymore, though. :(

[Hepburn]

16. I lived in Riverside County in the 1970s....

...and it was THE place to go if one wished to own a "ranchette." :hi:

[MorningGlow]

22. Yep

My SIL was born and raised there, IIRC, and in the early '80s she had a spread with a lot of animals in Moreno Valley. Heck, even in the late '80s we could drive a couple of miles and pay a rancher a few bucks to take some of his horses out on the trails. :hi:

On edit: now if I could just spell the places correctly...

[Hepburn]

27. MoVal....

...which used to be Sunnymead and right by March AFB when it was operating.

Hell of a party place way back when! :hi:

[Arugula Latte]

15. Some from my adopted region, the Northwest:

You know you're from the Northwest (specifically Oregon) when:


You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.

You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.

You consider swimming an indoor sport.

You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation

You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from California

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

You measure distance in hours.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.

You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best India Pale Ale.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.

You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.

A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.

You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.

You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.

Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.

You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84.

You go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.

You are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.


(The Subaru one cracks me up. My son was waiting for me to pick him up from a house he's taking care of and he said he counted 27 Subarus pass buy within minutes.)

[Hepburn]

17. What?

No Saabs? :evilgrin:

[MorningGlow]

24. My freelance boss lives in Bellingham, WA

When I mentioned I was thinking of buying a new car, she immediately recommended a Subaru Outback.
:rofl:

[Arugula Latte]

26. It's funny because it's true!

I always count the number of Subaru wagons at our local "New Seasons" grocery (it's a groovy chain with lots of organic, local, fresh, sustainable, seasonal food). There are invariably four or five of those things parked there every time, and about 90 percent of them are green. :)

[cemaphonic]

39. Heh, Subaru Forrester here.

They're issued to you when you have kids - They won't let you bring babies home from the hospital without one.

Most of that list applies to Washington too, but the Oregon gas station thing is just weird.

[mix]

21. your house has burnt down and been rebuilt 4 times,

but you still love the view.

[Hepburn]

25. You know...

...I know at least one couple who has done that twice! :wow:

[Initech]

28. Actually it's less than two miles to find any one of those places.

I can count at least four Quiznos, two Subways, three McDonalds, and ten different Starbucks locations in a five mile span from work.

[Iggo]

33. I live about 12 miles from work (L.A. to the other side of Whittier)...

...and I'd be surprised if I don't pass at least a half-dozen McDonalds and probably 10 Starbucks on the way. That 10-number for Starbucks is conservative, too. There's probably little hole-in-the-wall ones I've never seen.

[Initech]

38. Counting store locations, there's at least 15 Starbucks on my 20 minute commute.

[KamaAina]

29. Ahem... pineapple on pizza is called a "Hawaiian" pizza.

although, come to think, I've rarely seen it out here. There is, however, at least one local establishment that offers Spam as a topping!!

[Hepburn]

41. My dinner last evening was....

....pizza: Ham, pineapple and bell peppers!

Aloha...:hi:

[SidneyCarton]

31. A couple more, courtesy of the Inland Empire...

You don't trust air you can't see (If you can't see it, how do you know it's really there?)

If you don't get your daily dose of carcinogens and heavy metals, you just can't get through the day.

Being buzzed by the sherriff's helicopters and watching the local meth lab get raided is just part of neighborhood charm.

Distance is measured in "time it takes to get there" miles are meaningless

You understand that the meaning of the 91 Freeway is that there is a 9:1 chance against you getting to where you're going without getting stuck in traffic.

You know that hillsides have four essential colors: green, brown, briefly orange, and black

You understand the four seasons: Earthquake, Mudslide, Fire and just really freakin hot

[DinahMoeHum]

32. ". . .walkin' in L.A., walkin' in L.A., . . .nobody walks in L.A. . ."

- Missing Persons - Walking in L.A.

Look ahead as we pass, try and focus on it
I won't be fooled by a cheap cinematic trick
It must have been just a cardboard cut out of a man
Top-forty cast off from a record stand

Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.

I don't know could've been a lame jogger maybe
Or someone just about to do the freeway strangler baby
Shopping cart pusher or maybe someone groovie
One thing's for sure, he isn't starring in the movies.
'Cause he's walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., only a nobody walks in L.A.

Walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

You won't see a cop walkin' on the beat
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

You only see 'em drivin' cars out on the street
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

You won't see a kid walkin' home from school
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

Their mothers pick 'em up in a car pool
Nobody's walkin' walkin' walkin' walkin'

Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.

Could it be that the smog's playing tricks on my eyes
or is it a rollerskater in some kind of headphone disguise
Maybe somebody who just ran out of gas,
Making his way back to the pumps the best way he can.

Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., nobody walks in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A.
Walkin' in L.A., only a nobody walks in L.A.

:evilgrin:

[Xithras]

35. There are no In-'N-Out's in other states? Those poor, poor people!

Time for Obama to sign an In-'N-Out stimulus bill to help the rest of the country recover from their animal-style recession!

By the way, most of those apply to Californian's in general, and not just SoCal'ers :)

[Zomby Woof]

37. A small handful in AZ and NV

But not enough.

[cemaphonic]

40. It's family-owned, and they don't want to expand much.

Since they would have a harder time keeping tabs on the quality, and since a large expansion would probably mean a public stock offer, and less control.

Sucks for the rest of us, but it's always nice to see businesses where responsibility trumps an easy cash grab.

[Burma Jones]

36. You know you're from Washington, DC when....

You say you're from DC, but you actually live in VA or MD but are too tired to explain where.

You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence.

You know where the Pentagon really is but never bother to correct anyone about its location.

When it takes you 45 minutes to drive 3 miles on I-66, 95, 395, 495, 50, 123, 29, or 270, it's a pretty good day.

There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going. (This one cracked me up because it is sooo true.)

You pay more money in parking tickets in a year than you do in medical bills, college costs and rent combined.

You know that driving through Georgetown, you will hear the music of the car next to you louder than you can hear your own.

"I got stuck behind a motorcade" is a common and real excuse for being late.

"Finding a parking space" actually becomes an appointment on your calendar. (E.g.. 7:00-8:00 Gym, 8:30-9:00PM - find a parking space, 9:00-10:30PM - Dinner reservations.)

Regional Variation:
VA - You've never once been to Wal-Mart and don't even know if there is one.

MD - Everyone in upper Montgomery Co knows where the Walmart is. You must speak Spanglish to get around in there.

When you say you're "going to the mall" and you don't mean shopping.

You never refer to the 'Metro' as the 'subway'.

You elbow tourists out of the way on the Metro escalators to "gently" remind them to WALK LEFT, STAND RIGHT.

Going to work early means being there by 9:00AM.

You don't bat an eye at 500 politicians and businessmen in suits running like their lives depended on it just to catch a Metro that will be followed by another in 90 seconds.

Regional Variation:
VA - You call it Targ? not Target, and are well aware that the one in Alexandria is just a "tad different".

MD - In MD we pronounce it like a french word: "Tar-Jay".
Use a soft J sound.

When Washington National Airport is and will always be "WASHINGTON NATIONAL", not "Reagan National".

You can tell by people's cars where they live and maybe even what neighborhood.

You've claimed that there's nothing to do on a weekend night even when you have the entire nation's capitol to explore.

You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center.

You meet someone else who says they're from the DC area and you realize they live two hours away from you.

You notice that there's been construction on the same stretch of highway for the past 5 years and you've never see anyone working on it.

You know you've crossed into Northern Virginia, without ever seeing a sign, only because your speedometer goes from 60 to 0.

MD perspective on the above statement:
The orginial writer must be referring to rush hour which I stay away from. Any time I cross the invisible line away from the sign that says: "Welcome to Maryland, please drive Gently"... the split second I pass into No. VA seems as if I've entered a live video game of road rage racing... cars on my tail close enough to kiss my bumper, swerving over 4-6 lanes, it's terrifying, really!

The few times you have gotten lost in DC you have somehow ALWAYS ended up in Anacostia and every road out somehow leads back to Anacostia.

You realize that I-395 is Northern Virginia's version of NASCAR.

There is no such thing as North, South, East, or West on the beltway, it's just go "that" way!(Inner circle / outer circle).

You go anywhere on the Eastern Shore, Rehoboth, Dewey, Ocean City, Skyline Drive, or the Outer Banks for vacation and everyone you meet is from DC.

Snow means rain to you.

Ice on the roads just means that you pay more attention to other cars, but still go 75 mph on the highways.

You can see the national cathedral from almost anywhere.

You know at least 2 rowers.

You know that Georgetown is NOT only a school.

You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA.

You know which bridges to cross to get to Maryland or VA.

You actually know what goes on in Dupont circle.

You can't go to Tysons Mall without seeing someone you know!!

You have a few friends who don't know what their parents do...It's Top Secret government work.

People don't ask you if Chevy Chase is named after the actor.

You can harmonize perfectly with the alert for "Doors Closing" on the Metro.

50% of your senior class went to Mason, JMU, Tech, VCU or UVA.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from DC.

[Hepburn]

42. Wow....

....:hi:

[Burma Jones]

44. I've been to Southern California........

I'll be back.

[Tikki]

43. YKYFSCW...you don't even think about why you don't stare at..

actors...but you might stare at a celebrity.

You know what Bonsai Runners are and you've actually experienced them
on the 101 on your way home in the early morning after the Hollywood Clubs.

You have Brit born friends in Santa Monica, Eastern European born friends in and
around the Los Feliz and you'll never turn down an invitation to
visit friends in Silver Lake..

You take all new visitors to SoCal on the E ticket ride down Laurel Canyon from 101
to Sunset Blvd.

While driving up or down the Coast Highway with visitors you exclaim.."Look, look
in the water ..there are the California seals"...and then when they say they don't
see any seals...you say.."there they are, that is what we call our surfers." :P

Always take your visitors to Santa Barbara...they will love it...and on the way there they
may pronounce Carpenteria as Carpeteria, don't correct them. Just smile.


Tikki

[Common Sense Party]

46. News flash for Disneylanders: In-N-Out isn't anything special.

They're just burgers. We have burgers, too.

[Xithras]

47. The best part of In-N-Out is the fries.

Not many fast food joints wait to slice the potatoes until you order. Or give them to you slathered in cheese, grilled onions, and pickles (animal style fries).

The burgers are among the best out there. Fresh baked buns, high quality beef, little grease. I grew up choking down Animal Style 3x3's.

Damn, now I'm hungry.

[Common Sense Party]

49. I just wasn't that impressed. Best fries I've had were at Duke's in Santa Ana.

The burgers were still greasy and not too flavorful at InO.

To each their own, I guess.

[mnhtnbb]

48. I did call 911 when living in Woodland Hills in the late 70's and was put on hold for 45 minutes.

True story. I swear.

I haven't lived in SoCal since 1988 and you couldn't pay me to move back to CA.