Men and Women - differences Iisted I found to be just about spot on

[Mira]

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, go to the gym, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house..

[suninvited]

1. Some of them might be spot on

but, I think the one about the offspring is way off. Men are very involved in their childrens life nowadays, and thats a good thing.

[lukasahero]

2. I hope you're joking about these being spot on

It's an amusing joke but jokes aren't really supposed to be considered doctrine.

[Strong Atheist]

3. No horse...

http://brinkmanonline.com/humor/menwomen/davebarryrel.html

[astral]

32. I was just posting about the horse thing yesterday!

or so. I first heard the Car Talk guys doing it and it just about drove me off the road suffocating from laughter.

I didn't know Dave Barry wrote it (did he?)

It's pretty funny, but it's funnier hearing it by Click and Clack!

[Strong Atheist]

33. Yeah I heard it on the radio years ago too. Google

"Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine." and all the hits are saying it was by Barry, which is what I had heard earlier... :shrug:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

4. maybe for straight men and women.... pretty sure that gay women and gay men

do not behave in this way.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night: NOT I

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house..: NOT TRUE ABOUT MY PARENTS



MARRIAGE: NOT MY MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

[grace0418]

12. Nah, not spot on for straight men and women either.

Just sexist stereotypes that don't resemble me or my husband or any of our friends.

[Captain Hilts]

5. Women have a wider variety of names, so they don't need nicknames as much.

Any office will have three 'Jim's, four 'Dave's, etc.

This is why the Navy gives all aviators unique nicknames so they don't find themselves telling 'Bob' to circle the carrier again, because four guys might do it whereas only one Itchy/Doc/Handsome/Soupie will do so.

[Orangepeel]

6. did we time warp back to 1980?

A woman worries about the future until she has a husband? A successful woman finds a man who makes more money than she can spend? A man has 6 items in the bathroom?

:rofl:

[Strong Atheist]

7. I have 7...

:hide:

[Orangepeel]

9. Do you want to borrow some of my husband's stuff?

[Strong Atheist]

10. No, 7 is all I need...

:shrug:

[Orangepeel]

15. well, those items plus a hairbrush and deodorant would be 8...

add dental floss for 9...

[Strong Atheist]

21. Ok, 8. nt.

[raccoon]

11. Sounds like the 1950's! nt

[grace0418]

13. Earlier than 1980.

This sounds like a super sexist cookbook I had from 1960 that told women to dress up and put on pearls before their husbands came home from work. :eyes:

[Mira]

18. Like this?

[grace0418]

19. LOL! Well, I think that one is fake but the cookbook I have is pretty close.

I couldn't believe what I was reading when I got it. It wasn't just recipes for horrible food from the 60s, it was a recipe for being a good housewife. *shudder*

[La Lioness Priyanka]

14. also very heterosexist. nt

[eyepaddle]

8. I find this amusing--and just enough of the items are close enough to

my life to resonate. Certainly not all. But at any rate, threads like this just never seem to end well here.

[Mira]

16. Well, I'm learning. It was not meant as a finite treatise on the subject

:)

[Symarip]

17. Some people can't wait to get offended

Some people can't wait to offend.

Most of us are somewhere inbetween. I chuckled at a few.

[Orangepeel]

27. I'm laughing, but at it rather than with it

Well, I didn't really laugh, but I wasn't offended. It didn't seem mean spirited, just ridiculously out of date.

[NJmaverick]

20. Another paying difference

women will pay with exact change while men tend get change back.

[sarge43]

22. Success

Man: Intelligent management of money and career

Woman: Making more money than SO and managing it and career intelligently.

Natural: "Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed." Someone has never slept with men.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

26. We'll give the last word on this to the late Rep Millicent Fenwick (R-NJ)

Once, when a conservative male congressman attacked a piece of equal rights legislation by saying, "I’ve always thought of women as kissable, cuddly, and smelling good," Fenwick responded, "That’s what I’ve always thought about men, and I hope for your sake that you haven’t been disappointed as many times as I’ve been"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millicent_Fenwick

RIP Millicent Fenwick. Truly, a class act and a progressive liberal republican who passionately advocated for civil rights. The GOP needs more Millicent Fenwicks and less Sarah Palins

[sarge43]

28. Oh my. Double barreled head shot.

That's worthy of Dear Dotty Parker.

:applause:

[KansDem]

30. I remember that quote!

And wasn't Ms. Fenwick a pipe smoker?

Photo of Millicent Fenwick smoking pipe

As a pipe smoker myself, I've always wondered why more women didn't smoke pipes. They can be rather stylish-looking...

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. I was gonna laugh, but decided to be a sourpuss self-righteous knee-jerk offended pout-rager instead

[eyepaddle]

24. Well, of course, what else COULD you do?

[Lydia Leftcoast]

25. Well, I worked retail for a few months back during the 1980s

with my assignments divided among various departments.

The men knew their own sizes, but never even had a clue about the sizes of anyone else in their family, including their sons, and they didn't even know what women's sizes were based on. Some honestly thought that women's sizes were based on height. If a man came in shopping for someone else, I'd have to ask him, "Point out someone in the crowd who is about the same size as your wife/girlfriend/son/daughter."

The women shoppers knew the sizes of everyone, male and female, in their family.

[Mira]

31. Just came back and saw how this has fared today. I learned some important

lessons about posting in the Lounge.

1] Don't abandon discretion, you are dealing with sophisticates who will spot incongruities and outdated humor in a heartbeat.

2] Don't give up, just don't post things that can bite you in the butt if you ignore rule number one.

3] The people in the Lounge are my friends, almost no matter what.

[Kali]

29. once again I come out more like a stereotypical man

well except for that waking up looking good. I do wake up about the same as going to sleep but niether could be called good-looking:rofl: