My brother met a nice girl on the flight home.

[Swede]

His wife died in 2007. The girl phoned him. I told him,maybe it's ok. He said it's too soon.

[Xipe Totec]

1. It's never too soon

it's time when the heart says it's time.

[no name no slogan]

2. He doesn't have to marry her.

He should just get acquainted and see if they have anything in common. And then take it from there. Gotta play to win.

[Swede]

3. He is still in such pain.

He visits her grave almost every day.

[no name no slogan]

4. Maybe a distraction will do him good.

Nothing serious. Just somebody to pal around with. As long as he's honest with her, there shouldn't be a prolem.

[Swede]

5. I agree completely.

[Ilsa]

8. That's a pretty big deal, IMO. That is some serious grief hanging on.

I don't have a clue what he is going through, but that seems like alot to me. His grief must still feel very "fresh" to him.

I'm really sorry he is in so much pain.

[Shell Beau]

6. I don't think you can put a time on something like that.

Maybe he isn't ready. And no one can force him to be. I personally think he should see about this girl, but it doesn't sound like he is ready. Maybe he never will be. He does need to take a first step. This is just hard to say because you don't want to push someone when they aren't ready, but he may need a boost. So iffy here. Anyway, good luck to him!

[Swede]

9. Thank you for your kind words.

I think he will never will be.

[Fleshdancer]

7. It's different for every widow

I think the best thing to do is support whatever decision he chooses.

[ThomCat]

10. I'm sorry he is grieving so hard.

:(

After two years, I hope his wife would not have wanted him to be all alone.

If you can, please encourage your brother. It could be very good for him. :)

[CoffeeCat]

11. I am so sorry about your brother...

...what a kind and compassionate brother you are to be so concerned and to post about this.

Your brother is grieving and it's so different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way
to grieve. It just takes time.

I think it's important that he is grieving. It's just part of the process, that will ultimately
allow him to move on with his life without his wife.

I have a friend who lost her husband in a plane crash. He died almost three years ago. No way
is she ready to date anyone. Each situation is unique. I do understand how hard it is to
watch a loved on go through this and to be in so much pain. You feel so helpless sometimes, but
I think the most important thing is to listen and just to be there for support.

You're a good brother! :)

[Kat45]

12. My boyfriend didn't start dating until about 5 years after his wife died.

It's about 8 years now and only now is he getting ready to give away her clothing. Meanwhile, my cousin got married just 2 years after her husband died. I guess it's different for each person.

[csziggy]

15. A friend's husband died two weeks after 9/11

He was a fireman and she thought seeing all those men die broke his heart. She still has his voice on her message machine and his clothes in her closets. She has been dating a couple of years now, but they keep separate houses and spend few nights together.

She seems happy enough now, but will not talk about her husband any more.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

13. He knows .........

When he's ready, someone will enter his world and he'll want to know her.

He'll never be OK again, but he'll have a new kind of OK, and he'll be all right.

In the meantime, it's quite touching to see how you love your brother................

[MrSlayer]

14. I don't know that dating after a spousal death is something you can put a clock on.

Everyone deals with it differently. You move on when you move on. Some people do it easily, some people never do.

[madeline_con]

16. "The girl phoned him." means he gave her his #. I'm just saying.

[Quantess]

17. I wonder if this woman is being too forward or coming on too strong?

And, vulnerable as he is right now, he's backing away from her nuances?
Anyway, if he likes her, I hope that he at least goes on a casual date. Of course, we all know you can't tell your brother what to do.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. sad......

grief has its own timeline. Encourage, but don't push.....

[Swede]

19. Thank you all for such kindness.

You guys really have me choked up here.

[DFW]

20. It has to happen on his timeline, for sure.

Anything else is unfair to the new girl in town. But if he tells her up front what the score is,
she will either be mature enough to give him time to grow into the situation, and figure out for
himself if it's time.

I know two things: if I were to lose my wife 1.) I would be devastated, and 2.) I would not want to
be alone for the rest of my life. The trouble is, I feel a lot of pity for the woman who would try
to take her place. If there's some woman out there in the world who is so special she could take my
wife's place, I have yet to meet her.

So your brother has a dilemma I can understand. Still, there are a few billion people out there in
this world, and if fate decided to put him in touch with the one woman who is right for him, he owes
it to both of them to find out.

[mnhtnbb]

21. Sometimes it's very hard to let go. Does he have someone to talk

to about his wife's death? If he's still visiting her grave every day, it sounds like
he's talking to her. He needs to have a living person to help him work through his grief.

On edit: Has he joined any bereavement groups? Have a minister or counselor or someone
with some training to help him with his loss?