A magical T-shirt for sale!

[Fuzz]

Reviews found at this link:

http://www.amazon.com/Three-T-Shirt-Available-Various-Sizes/product-reviews/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_pr_link_1?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0

A sample:

293 of 302 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Never a Lone Wolf Again!, May 19, 2009
By Lupidorr Theopian (Gotham) - See all my reviews
I'll be honest. I ordered the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt based off the amazing promises I read about at Amazon.com.

When my order arrived, I was not disappointed. As the UPS truck was driving down the street with my delivery, my female neighbors began opening their doors and stepping outside. I suspect the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt contains powerful lupine pheromones.

The shirt is made up of soft cotton. I was grateful to see this as it flexed as my muscles grew after donning this garment.

The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt gave me a +10 resistance to energy attacks, +8 Strength, and added 30 feet to my normal leap. I cannot list the specific effects involving the opposite sex as I am still discovering these. And they are many.

Since owning the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, I have successfully solved 7 crimes in my city, including 4 cold case murders. The local police force is currently wishing to retain my services.

I do have one complaint, and that's that I must stay indoors on windy days. Last fall we had a windy day and I received notice that hundreds of women were suddenly pregnant, carrying my offspring, up to 12 miles away.

That said, I would whole-heartedly recommend the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt. You never need to be a lone wolf again!

Another sample:

Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008
By B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

[MorningGlow]

1. OMG that's brilliant

It's a whole movement! (What's sad is my ex best friend used to think shirts like this were high fashion. She even bought me one once, for Christmas--I think it was airplanes. And I think they DID glow in the dark. I haven't seen it since five minutes after I unwrapped it. I don't WANT to find it.)
:rofl:


I particularly love this one:

5.0 out of 5 stars Why can't Amazon have more stars? 5 ain't enough!, May 6, 2009
By T. Guymon "SonOfSpam" (Anaheim, CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
So I'm looking for threads that say, "Hey baby...I'm real boss!" when I stumble upon this epic creation. The wolves spoke to me in a language all their own; it was like German, Mongol, and Bitchin all mixed together. I mean, one wolf howlin at the moon is major...but three???

I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.

I'll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I'm swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I'm also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon. I owe everything to this shirt (I should say "shirts", since I now own 23 of them).

[arbusto_baboso]

2. I'm afraid to think of what the dragon shirt might do.

Dragons are inherently magical creatures, ya know. Combine an image of one with the obviously mighty powers of this manufactures shirts and, well.....

The results could be more than anyone could handle... :scared:

[suninvited]

3. I simply MUST have one of these shirts

the reviews go on and on:

Recently, my girlfriend asked me to meet her parents. I was hesitant at first, and declined the offer for a couple of months. Finally, she wore me down and got me to agree. Her parents are rich enough to own Bill Gates, and they insisted that we go to some nice steak restaurant. Despite her objections, I wore this shirt.

The first thing her father noticed on me was this shirt and, upon shaking my hand, he started to call me son. As soon as we sat down, he wrote me a check for 100,000 dollars and told me to call him if I ever needed anything, and her beautiful mother began rubbing my leg in a not unpleasent way.

Half way through the dinner, a man collapsed at the table next to us. I jumped to my feet and assessed the situation. I discovered that he was choking on a rather large piece of steak. Now I have no medical training, but the shirt showed me how to save this man's life. And I did.

So grateful for my actions, the man paid for my dinner and gave me the keys to his new corvette outside. Then the waiters all gave me their tips, winking at me and mouthing "nice shirt."

Later that night, my girlfriend couldn't keep her hands off of me. She wanted me. Being no fool, I kept the shirt on. She said the pleasure was so intense she forgot her own name for a minute. We're getting married next week, and I haven't taken the shirt off since.

Only downside: I turn into a werewolf on full moon nights when I wear the shirt. And I occasionally wake up to Carlos Mencia singing in my bathroom. Be warned

[Kali]

4. saw this the other day -

had to forward the link to all my weird friends - hilarious comments - and the comments to the comments

[suninvited]

5. If you keep reading the reviews

you find the one from the company that manufactures the shirts. They discovered this had gone viral when the shirt became one of the top ten items in apparal at Amazon.

They feel that some of the reviews are classist, and while they find them funny, they dont like the classist ones. They have even offered a free weekly tshirt for the funniest reviews.

[hvn_nbr_2]

6. Why, oh why, can't Lounge threads be on the greatest page? nt

[Fuzz]

9. Indeed.

[NewJeffCT]

7. holy spit, it's up to 105 pages of reviews

I think my snark-o-meter would bust if I read the whole of them...they even have elaborate video reviews.

[suninvited]

8. You have to read the Tuscan Whole Milk Gallon reviews, too

they are just as funny:

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
What Do You Mean I Can't Bring My Milk???, May 25, 2009
By Kevin McDonald "KP 2001" (Annapolis, Maryland) - See all my reviews


I approached the Airport Security Gate and fed my bags into the x-ray machine.
"Sir," said the TSA agent, "is this your bag?"
"You know it is," I replied.
"There's no need to get testy sir," he said.
The agent escorted me over to a side table.
"Do you mind if I search your bag?" he asked.
"What will you do if I say no?" I asked.
"I'll take you in the back room and we'll strip search you," he replied.
"Then by all means, go ahead and search," I said.
The agent opened my bag and peered inside.
"What do you call this sir?" the agent asked holding up a pair of nail clippers.
"Those are nail clippers," I said.
"I'm going to have to confiscate these," he said.
"That's alright," I replied, "they sell them for a dollar in the store next to my departure gate."
The agent looked at me with hate in his eyes. He looked back into my bag and pulled out my gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk.
"Sir, you can't take this on the plane," he said.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because, if you have more than three ounces of a liquid you could use it to blow up the plane," he said.
I was astonished. I had no idea that Tuscan Whole Milk was so powerful.
"May I drink it now?" I asked.
"Yes," he said, "liquids are harmless once they are inside of you."
I drank the entire gallon of Tuscan Whole Milk that I had purchased on Amazon.com while the people behind me grew increasingly inpatient.
It was delicious.
I did not blow up.