Well I went out and spent $500 on a Marcus Memorial Garden

[DeepBlueC]

I had to do something with myself today...without my boy to nurse or soothe or just be with me in the same room I found I still had the same knot of anxiety in my stomach that I have felt ever since Marcus started to falter. I bought more of the Feather Reed Grass that he and the others have eaten down to a four inch nub (It should be 18"-24" high; I guess it's tasty). I bought a Bloodgood Japanese maple to anchor one corner of the roof deck. I think I'll put either chicks and hens or woolly thyme as ground cover around it. The other stuff will go below the arctic willow. I would name the tree for Marcus but things winter unpredictably in containers here and I could not bear to see Marcus die again over the winter. So the garden as a whole will be his. Something will survive. I got red fountain grasses and Stella d'Oros and two varieties of echinacea, catnip of course, a snakeroot and several other things which I can't quite remember now so that will be a nice surprise for me. I already have a dwarf lilacs with phlox ground cover and loads of spiky blue salvia, and I have a bunch of perennial ornamental grasses and mosses that have come back, plus dianthus and thrift.

I had hoped to spend this unhappy weekend doing some honest brain-draining physical labor out there but they won't be delivering my stuff until Tuesday morning. I hope it doesn't turn Arctic by then. That's what happened after my first big plant delivery ... when I tried to loosen up the soil gale winds were trying to carry it away and I started to stiffen up and hurt as I was starting my work rather than when I finished it. So that delivery went into the dirt in very small batches at a time. It was all I could take.

Now it is a beautiful day and a good day to work hard and I badly need the distraction. Well, I have a few things left here so I guess I will make the best of it. I can't even keep myself absorbed by Breaking Bad or Wallander.

[XemaSab]

1. That sounds beautiful

:pals:

[DeepBlueC]

2. I hope so...

and making it so will be therapeutic. I feel grief and guilt and anger, a whole sack of feuding emotions. On the upside, I usually lose weight when I am wrought with emotion and anxiety.

:pals:

[LostinVA]

3. That made me tear up -- what a wonderful tribute to a family member

I know how much this hurts. It sucks.

:pals:

[DeepBlueC]

8. yeah

How could I feel so alone here this morning with four cats in the house? I told them they'd have to step up their game now and they are working on it. It's kind of nice that misery does find company. It has been for me. :pals:

[LostinVA]

9. It hurts losing a furkid

[auntAgonist]

4. Beautiful.

I still haven't created a memorial spot for Tarn's ashes. Tarn was our Rottie who died of bone cancer 2 years ago. We are landscaping and renovating etc, etc. and want to create the perfect spot.

I'm so sorry for the passing of your beloved Marcus.

:hug:

aA
kesha

PS: when and if you feel up to it, please post photos of your memorial garden?

[DeepBlueC]

6. I'll have to get help but I'll try

[lildreamer316]

5. Hey.

Love you.
:hug:

[DeepBlueC]

7. don't make me cry...

Oh, okay, go ahead ... :hug:

[Rob H.]

10. Sounds like a beautiful tribute to Marcus

and a lovely reminder of him to have nearby. :) :hug:

[emilyg]

11. Wonderful.

:love ya: