Stupid Work Rubbish

[eauclaireliberal]

Corporate medicine in action:

T.E.A.M-"Together Everyone Accomplishes More"

L.E.A.P-"Listen, Apologize, Empathize, Problem Solve."

Now, why do I need motivation to do a job that I was doing great at long before they came up with this garbage? They actually have taped in-services of some bald white asshole who thinks he's Dr. Phil of corporate health care. Another self-proclaimed motivation speaker. Yeah OK.

[Xipe Totec]

1. I love motivational posters

[eauclaireliberal]

2. Yeah that's something that you'll never see

...belongs in the administrator's office where I worked.

[cwydro]

7. There's a whole website of those.

They're hilarious.

[lizerdbits]

3. Ugh!

I've heard stories about the horror of the teamwork seminar that occurred before I arrived. Glad I missed it.

Apparently management where I work is now required to use the phrase 'moving forward' or 'going forward' in every email that is sent out. I'm sure in a year there will be a new required phrase that is mocked by the rest of the company.

[fizzgig]

4. i hate that crap

we had to do a workshop called true colors or something at my old job. based on your answers, you were assigned one of four colors that described your personality/work style.

the trainer was a bitch. yes, i will use that word. she talked down to all of us. she told one of the guys that he did his wrong and he could not have possibly gotten the results he did. she then got snotty with me when i told her i don't believe in pigeonholing myself like that and that, as adults, we all have choices in how we work and act and assigning everyone a color served no real purpose.

we did get a good laugh out of it afterward, though.

[davsand]

5. Sounds like you need to make your own de-motivational posters!

http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php


I recently found one I made a few years ago when I was clearing off my hard drive at the office. The subject of the poster has long since been fired, but we all had a good laugh all over again when I printed it off and handed it out!


Laura

[undeterred]

6. Yeah we got the "empathy" memo this week

I work customer service in an inbound call center 40 hours per week. When they can't find anything else to micromanage they tell you that you need to practice more "empathy". They don't have enough empathy to hire me so that I can have health insurance and they don't have enough money to pay me a decent wage. But I'm supposed to be OOZING with empathy for our customers.

Hire me with a raise in pay and full benefits, and I will respond to your empathy as you like.

[mwooldri]

8. I have to motivate people at work...

and I do rely on the web for my material, though I don't use Despair.com or those grotty motivational posters.

I use ICanHasCheezburger.com and its other connected sites.

Best motivational poster I found was the Obama one stating "Everyone chill the f*** out, I got this!" I tell them "You Got This" and that's my main message.