Do family, co-workers or friends feel comfortable making racist or sexist comments around you?

[NJmaverick]

Do they feel they can make those comments or have you let them know you don't approve? Are there people you give a free pass to? Why? Do you find yourself getting into frequent arguments over these issues?

[TrogL]

1. My mother - repeatedly and unapologetically

She feels that she can make any comment whether anybody approves or not. She just doesn't give a damn.

[NJmaverick]

8. Ouch, that's tough

[PassingFair]

2. My family -- NO.

If I don't call them out, my kids will.

HOWEVER....I do hear racist remarks
from customers from time to time.

I don't jump down their throats, but
I don't LAUGH either.

If I lectured my customers I wouldn't
have any.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. Plus she is smart enough to hang out with (even if it's just on the phone

these days) people who pretty much don't do that.

[PassingFair]

5. Ellie's the one who REALLY don't play that!

I love it when "elders" look at me
and give me that look that says...
"Do you HEAR how she's talking to me?"

And I have to say.

"Hey, when she's right, she's right!"

:hi:

I don't think Niki puts up with it,
either...must be something in the
water up here.

:hi:

[Kali]

3. no, but I live in a rural area and I do hear them often enough

sexist comments don't bother me personally as much as homophobic or racist ones because I stand as an example of the fallacy of most of them.

I tend to turn those kind of "jokes" around and give "humorous" examples of the exact opposite of whatever the comment was. "Oh, well, I know a hell of lot more dumb, lazy, rednecks than (fill in non-white ethnic group) just think about old so and so..."

[CreekDog]

6. White people often do

a couple relatives and then just random people that assume i'll agree with the sentiment because i'm white.

my step-grandmother (yes, the one that thought smoking "holds down cancer") told me when i was in college, "there's going to be a race war" so I asked her, "oh really? which side are you going to take?" :crazy:

once she said to me "Hitler should have fin... (I can't say any more of what she said). no i did not argue, but i was 10. :wtf:

the greatest argument against bigotry is that it is easily stupidest things i've heard said by somewhat ignorant people.

she sent me a check for Birthday+Christmas last year and the rest of my relatives told me to give it to a charity that helps Mexican immigrants and give it to them in her name (i didn't...i didn't cash it at all actually).

(BeachBaby, she lives in your neck of the woods, so watch out :hide:)

[Moondog]

7. No. It never happens more than once.

[graywarrior]

9. No

I get very vocal about my disapproval to the point of embarrassing them.

[Midlodemocrat]

10. No. Never.

[ScreamingMeemie]

11. They're just plain afraid to talk around me these days.

[gbate]

12. Yes, yes, and yes!!!

My co-workers are the most racist, homophobic, xenophobic people you'd ever want to meet. I used to ignore it, but I did finally say something awhile ago. They don't get a free pass anymore because they know how I feel. I'm not afraid to say something anymore.

Arguing? There is nothing to argue about. I'll report their ignorant asses to HR if they keep it up.

[Ikonoklast]

13. My family is somewhat diverse.

Comments made about race or national origin would go over like a lead balloon. We have first generation Mexican-Americans, Spanish nationals of Arabic ancestry, and Indian nationals as family members.

The offending person would get a withering stare and be set to rights about what is not accepted by my family members. Racist statements are seen as a statement of profound stupidity on the part of the speaker.

[skygazer]

14. Only once

[Gormy Cuss]

15. No.

They know that if they do I'll give them the icy stare and appropriate retorts.

[Dramarama]

16. Sometimes. Feels wierd giving my father a

talk about right and wrong haha

[NJmaverick]

17. Does he listen?

[Dramarama]

18. Yeah,

he's definitely toned down on the jokes. I was surprised

[ismnotwasm]

19. Nope

Nobody gets a pass

[leeroysphitz]

20. Around me? Hell, try About me...

[S n o w b a l l]

21. No, never...

Considering this is me and my ex husband, they know better.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. family, co-workers or friends --

I see more sexism in the workforce also it is more apparent among my family and friends.

I very rarely hear racist comments. Fact is, I am trying to remember the last time I heard one.

[sarge43]

23. No, because I'm quick to inform whomever s/he is full of it.

And I don't argue. I see no point in wasting my time.

[DarkTirade]

24. What's wrong with being sexy?

:P I had to. I know.

[nomorenomore08]

33. Or racy, for that matter?

:evilgrin:

[raccoon]

25. Can somebody give us a dignified but well-chosen remark to make when people do make such remarks? nt

[NJmaverick]

28. That's a tough one

What about something along the lines of:


I appreciate your right to free speech, but I have to tell you I find those comments offense. I think it's wrong to suggest that a person is less of a person because of their ___(FILL IN THE BLANK)___.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

29. "Were you conceived on a bet?"

Okay, low on "dignified," but I think it works.

[sarge43]

30. A stupid bar bet.

Bigots don't warrant dignity.

The classic: I'm not getting into a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

My favorite: You have just proven that there is no such thing as unutterable nonsense.

[NJmaverick]

32. I am not sure this line would work

if the person is a parent or grandparent.

[BarenakedLady]

26. Only my in-laws

Both of them have since passed. And my bil's are soon to be my ex bil's. They don't talk to me anymore.

[MajorChode]

27. I wouldn't tolerate it

At work I have volunteer collateral duties that I perform for the civil rights branch. As a condition of that work I am obligated to report any instances of discrimination and everyone knows and respects that. I would anyway. It's just not something I would ever allow. I honestly don't know if any of my coworkers would have a desire to do so, but they definitely know where I stand and they just don't do it around me even if they hold such ideas.

I don't have any living relatives that are bigots so I don't have to worry about that at home, but it's not something I would tolerate there either.

[Inchworm]

31. Oddly, only 2 closest friends do that around me

just because of the simple fact they know it irks me.

:hi:

[Rhythm]

34. I hear these things from time to time... nobody gets a 'pass'

I've actually tossed customers out of the store where i work due to their sexist, racist, or homobigoted poo-flinging. Or outright told a co-worker that i had nothing more to say to him, because i didn't waste my time in the company of bigots.

I grew tired of just silently taking it years ago... i just can't do it anymore. Maybe it's because i grew up in a household where both of my parents were at minimum silently prejudiced against people of different skin-tones, countries-of-origin, or religious beliefs.

How i ended up this far to the left is a miracle known only to fate and the Flying Spoaghetti Monster. rAmen.

[tigereye]

35. No. They know me better than that.

[Tikki]

36. NO

[no name no slogan]

37. I work with a bunch of honky-ass ofays, so I'm getting a kick out of this thread...