Maggie received a reprieve today!!!

[belladonna]

Mr. Narcissist did not show up at the visit. I waited 20 minutes in the nursery and then called him and got voice mail, so we left. When I was almost home, he calls and demands that I bring her back. I almost did, but then he started being aggressive and demanding and I said forget it. We have a court order for a reason and I more than fulfilled my obligations this morning. He has now left 7 messages demanding that I bring her back to the church. I just keep hitting save and letting him rant.

One great thing that happened is that the nursery workers got to see what she's really like since he wasn't there making her scream and cry. I think it was a real eye-opener for them. She was interactive with them and quite happy once she realized that he wasn't there. Autistic, my ass.... I still can't believe he's running around saying that she's autistic. She's simply SCARED of him, but I guess it's easier for him to believe that she's autistic than to believe she's terrified of him.

[Bertha Venation]

1. Sounds like a pretty unpleasant situation you have to live with...

my best to you.

[belladonna]

3. It is, but we'll get through it

Unfortunately for Maggie, I don't believe he'll ever change. You have to realize that there's something wrong with you before you can do anything about it and he thinks just the opposite. Again, even to the point that he'd rather there be something wrong with her rather than admit that he's the problem.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Do you have a guardian ad litem? Get one if you don't.

and ask for supervised visitation.

[belladonna]

6. There is a guardian ad litem

She's quite good and I have faith in her that she'll get this straightened out on June 2nd. I just have to get her through until then. The fact that she didn't have to deal with him today certainly helps.

[Midlodemocrat]

7. His calling her autistic is very troubling to me.

I would get the pediatrician to evaluate her. If he refers to her as autistic, he isn't going to engage her in a meaningful manner and that could be very detrimental to her growth.

[belladonna]

8. It is to me as well

Besides PISSING me off, it disturbs me that he has latched on to this and will not let go. At the pediatrician's office, because of the "fits" she was throwing, she had us fill out this form, which included questions about some behaviors associated with autism. Maggie does not fit any of the criteria. Period. The tantrums or fits or whatever you want to call them are the only thing that even come close to a behavior you would see with autism and can be easily explained by the trauma of the visitations. For whatever reason, I found out the next day that he was telling anyone who would listen that she's autistic. Fortunately, it only makes him look even nuttier to the guardian ad litem... I guess that's the only damn silver lining in this whole thing.

She is going to be referred to a child psychologist to address the behavioral changes, so perhaps that will serve to prove to him that he's wrong, though I'm not sure even that will penetrate his insanity.

[LeftyMom]

2. If you can't get the visits stopped, please ask for professionally supervised visitation

rather than the current arrangement (I believe you said it's at his church's nursery, no?) In that case his visit will be automatically canceled if he's more than a few minutes late, and the courts will get impartial records of his behavior, attendance, etc.

[belladonna]

5. I think that the visits are going to be stopped soon

She went to her pediatrician last week and she's referring her to a child psychologist. He showed up at the visit and she got to see Maggie's reaction to him, so she's pretty aware of what the problem is. The guardian ad litem has already said that, at the very least, if the visits aren't stopped, they will be shortened in length, supervised by someone appropriate and that the church will no longer be involved. It's just a matter of getting all the pieces to fall in place now. We return to court on June 2nd, so not too much longer now. I'm just thankful that she didn't have to go through all the trauma today. She seems quite happy about it too!

[applegrove]

10. yes. Please try and get a professional there to watch their interactions.

[Wapsie B]

9. Thank god she's got you to keep her away from an angry father.

Some of us should've been so lucky.

[belladonna]

11. I'm trying and will keep on trying

My only concern in this is her and that she's not damaged by his obvious personality disorder anymore than she already has been. The good thing, though I hesitate to call it a good thing, is that his personality diorder seems to be becoming more and more prevalent and, more and more, it's becoming obvious to everyone involved that he is not stable and, unless he gets serious therapy, cannot be a good influence in Maggie's life.