"Application for permission to date my Daughter"

[A HERETIC I AM]

I found this while stumbling. While I don't have a daughter of my own (My ex had a teenage daughter who was...well..."of interest" to the boys in her school) this reminded me of the old days and made me smile.



APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Print out and submit as per instructions at the bottom of the form.

1. Name :__________________________________________________ Date of Birth :_________________
2. Height :___________________________ Weight :_______________________ GPA :________________
3. Social Sec. #_______________________ Drivers license #______________________________________
4. Boy Scout Rank :__________________________
5. Home address :____________________________ City/ State____________________________________
6. Do you have one male and one female parent ? Yes _______ No _______
7. If no, explain :_________________________________________________________________________
8. Number of years parents married :__________________________________________________________
9. Do you own a van ?______ A truck with oversized tires ?______ A water bed ?_______
10. Do you have an earring , nose ring , belly-button ring ?______ A tattoo ?_______
(If yes to any of #9 or #10, Discontinue application and leave premises ...
11. In ten words or less, what does LATE mean to you ?___________________________________________
12. In ten words or less, what does Abstinence mean to you ?______________________________________
13. In ten words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you ?___________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________
14. Church you attend :_________________________________ How often you attend :_______________
15. When would be the best time to interview your Father, Mother, And Minister ? ___________________
16. What would you want to be IF you grew up ? _______________________________________________

Answer by filling in the blanks. Please answer freely - all answers are confidential
(that I won't tell anyone - ever- I promise).

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded is in the __________________________

If I were beaten the last bone I would want broken is my ________________________________________
The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is ___________________________________

When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is_______________________________________
(Note: If answer begins with T or A, discontinue and leave premises: Keeping your head low and running in
a serpentine fashion is advised. )

I SWEAR THAT THE INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF: NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, ELECTROCUTION,
CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, DEATH, AND DISMEMBERMENT.

Signature (that means your name, moron)______________________________________________________

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for processing. You will be contacted in writing if
you are approved. Please do not attempt to call or write. If your application is rejected you will be
notified by two gentlemen wearing white coats and carrying a violin case.

APPLICANT'S RIGHT THUMB PRINT IN BLOOD Here -->

[OmahaBlueDog]

1. As the father of two daughters, I appreciate you posting this

Frankly, there are more questions I want answered, but this is a good starting point.

[flvegan]

2. This is why I'd never have a daughter.

I wouldn't even take applications. Little penismongers would just hear the shotgun chamber when they got to the door.

[Chan790]

4. penismongers?

They're selling penii?!

[flvegan]

5. They're trying to deal their "commodity"

Usually with the enticements of movies and meals.

[Chan790]

7. I support that...

it worked well for me when I was 15. :hide:

[BarenakedLady]

3. I don't care for questions #6-8, 10 and 14

But I may save the rest for the future. Heh.

[jobycom]

6. Most of that pisses me off, but 16 is funny. nt

[Ikonoklast]

8. Well, after my daughter knocked out her ex at a party he wasn't invited to,

I tell the next prospective victim that he needs to sign a waiver for any physical damage that may ensue if he pisses her off.

[ThomCat]

9. Most of that is shit and offensive.

The basic premise is cute, but the execution is horrible.

[LeftyMom]

10. That kinda sucks.

Maybe I'm just saying that as a responsible adult with (gasp!) divorced parents and (gasp!) a tattoo, but I don't see why I'd be more likely to chase a suitor to my hypothetical daughter off if he had divorced, gay or never-married parents or ink and piercings. Then again, I also would be more suspicious of a church attendee than a non-attendee, and I don't really expect my kids (hypothetical girl or actual boy) to reach adulthood without fooling around a little.

[raccoon]

11. One thing that really pisses me off about most men is they're looking

for some free p**** wherever they can get it, but let some other man view THEIR sister/daughter as sexual prey, and that's a totally different ballgame.

:grr:

[redqueen]

12. ...

:thumbsup:

[DS1]

13. That's some lame ass Freeper chain-forwarded email shit right there

[PassingFair]

14. Men are like sheep.

And it's up to us to decide if we
want to be the Shepherdess or the
grazing material.

--Tracey Ullman

That post is pure crap,
and I say this as the
mother of two daughters
that are DEFINITELY
shepherdesses.

[scheming daemons]

15. Wow... freeper chain mail getting posted at DU.... gotta love the lounge

....

[begin_within]

16. What sort of daughter requires her parents' approval over who she dates and doesn't date?

And did these parents have to go through the same process during their dating years?

[PassingFair]

18. Oh, don't you know....Girls are "damagable" property.

What century is this again?

:eyes:

[LaurenG]

17. Who cares what gender the kids parents are, among other things that

are disturbing about this. :shrug:

[HughBeaumont]

19. Sooooooo, I take it sweet little angel is joining a convent?

Not only does the thought of two men making out make them violently angry and ill, but so does the idea of a boy (gasP) holding hands with their precious virginal angel.

What's up with the ultraviolence? This sounds like something that comes from the dads of those weird-ass Purity Ball things.

News Flash: you can't change thousands of years of human wiring and hormones.