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I don’t like overt sexism. I acknowledge that it’s human nature to be somewhat sexist to one degree or another, just as it’s human nature to be racist or otherwise xenophobic to one degree or another. It’s finding our way beyond these atavistic traits which makes us ‘better’ people, and that’s one reason I prefer the company of ‘progressive liberals’ to that of other people, because ‘liberals’ work against centuries of conventional thought regarding the oppression of one group by another. Ha! Even that is a type of classist discrimination against non-liberals—there’s no escape!
Unfortunately, a statement I made recently was misinterpreted and manipulated by further posts to appear sexist. I agree in retrospect that what I said, even in the spirit in which it was posted, did appear to be sexist, particularly (but not exclusively) as it was re-used by others. and I apologised to the subject of my statement, and took steps to remove the entire thread, which had become more an more offensive with each subsequent contribution.
However, that wasn’t enough, and several posts since have brought out some extremely offensive (albeit enlightening) statements of sexism from both ‘camps’.
My peeve is the double standard between sexism against man and sexism against women. Of course, no enlightened person supports sexism against women, even in jokes. However, even on DU, sexism against men is not condemned. Sure, some of it is light-hearted and somewhat accurate sometimes, that doesn’t diminish the hurt that can be felt by even the most innocent attack against one.
It seems perfectly acceptable to state things such as:
“…men think through their penises…”, “…men have (life) too easy…”, and “…men have tiny little brains…”, which are things which have been stated on this forum lately.
Why is this tolerated, here of all places?
I’m not suggesting some sort of PC lockdown where everyone says nothing out of fear of being labeled “unmutual”, but a little more sensitivity could certainly be exercised before posting sweeping generalisations about either gender, don't you think?
I understand that SOME men have had many, many advantages in life. So have SOME women. Yes, I even acknowledge that far more men have than women. So what? The numbers don’t matter to me, because they don’t include me (although some would argue they do). They don’t include most of you either, so why split hairs? I also understand that some people, even on this forum, seem to think that while sexism against women is heinous, sexism against men is justifiable because of some sort of sense of payback, or leveling the field, manufacturing a sense of empowerment at mens' expense, or whatever.
In much the same way as only supporting Freedom of Speech for the views you agree with isn’t supporting Freedom of Speech at all (thanks to Chomsky for that one), being ‘justifiably sexist’ is being sexist. Period.
Now, this WILL become a flame-fest, so in the interest of not being upset by the responses to my own post, I’m putting this thread on ignore shortly after posting, but I invite other DUers to discuss this issue, hopefully calmly and without resorting to insults.
I want to make a few of my opinions clear:
1) This society may very well be patriarchal, but that patriarchy is ruled by a tiny percentage of the world’s population, and those people are rich white men, for the most part. However, many women are also leaders and lieutenants of this oppressive uber-class. We could sit here all day and argue about who pulls the strings in our society, but my gut instinct is that it ain’t me, or most of you. We sit here, day after day and argue about which underclass is oppressing who, which is exactly what our masters want. While we fight and foil our own attempts at putting up a united front, people like Condoleeza Rice (admittedly the ‘poorest’ multimillionaire in the Cabinet) and George Bush get richer and more powerful, at our expense.
2) I grew up very, very poor. I was raised by a single mother who cleaned rich peoples’ houses for $3 an hour to make ends meet. I now live rather comfortably because I worked hard, and because I’m fairly intelligent, and, some (myself included) might say, lucky. I have essentially held two jobs in my life, both which strictly adhere to fair and non-discriminatory hiring policies. One was governed by the Federal Government, and the other by a Union. And, incidentally, my current position is one which is populated by about 65% women. And, for the record, we all make exactly the same amount. I get extremely upset when people glibly suggest that all men are somehow tied into some mysterious and omnipotent Mason-like society which dishes out executive power to anyone with a pale penis. Most men, like probably 99.99999%, and I’m talking globally AND locally, never have access to this kind of power, or enjoy the benefits of this type of privilege. I have never had the opportunity to advance myself based on my gender, and I take exception with anyone who suggests otherwise. In fact, my first name is a ‘unisex’ name, so people who cold-call me for interviews don’t even know my gender until we speak.
3) There are people on this board who suggest, no, STATE, that “men have all the advantages”. First of all, that’s untrue and generalist. Secondly, that is entirely dependent on how one defines an ‘advantage’. To illustrate: if you think it’s an ‘advantage’ to be conscripted into combat duty based on your gender in most armed forces in the world, then yes, men have that one sewn up. If you think it’s ‘advantageous’ to have to argue your right for access to your own children following a divorce instead of it being widely accepted that the children naturally belong with you, then men sweep that one, too. All I’m saying is that there are advantages and disadvantages to being male, and advantages and disadvantages to being female. Furthermore, to suggest that "men have all the advantages" is a pretty discouraging thing for young women to hear. If we want to end this perceived or real cycle of the glass ceiling, we have to stop instilling this kind of defeatest rhetoric in the minds of young people.
4) “…women are always expected to shoulder the responsibility of contraception…”. Okay, where to start… I have never left that responsibility to my female partners, unless they volunteer it. Even in that case, as someone who has never wanted children but has been in relationships with women who do, I have never completely trusted a partner with the awesome responsibility of preventing unwanted (by me) pregnancy, so I have always taken steps myself, including having a vasectomy. Am I alone in this action? A multi-billion industry manufacturing condoms and other male contraceptives, and providing vasectomy procedures suggests I am not.
5) There are several people on this board who constantly quack about the oppression they are under. These people come from various walks of life and, to be sure, have had various life experiences which have shaped their opinions. However, I find it galling that someone of either gender can actually sit down at a computer terminal in a comfortable college, downtown condo, or split-level bungalow in the wealthiest nation in the world, and complain about his/her oppression. As someone who has been a full-time worker since age seventeen, it particularly irks me when someone in his/her twenties logs on between classes to complain about how “men are given the better jobs at higher pay” without having to actually go out and find a full-time job themselves. Believe me, there about five billion people on this planet, split just about evenly by gender, who would (and do) kill or die to ‘suffer’ this kind of ‘oppression’. You want to talk about oppression? Go to Africa. Go to China. Go to Central America. Go to the Former Yugoslavia. Go to the Arctic. Look at other species. We Middle-Class Westerners are, to a man, the winners of “life’s lottery”. Sure, it can suck being poor in America. It can suck being a woman in America. It can suck being Gay, Black, Hispanic, Jewish, or Tibetan in America. But it can and does suck far, far worse and with much more frequency, elsewhere.
I guess the point of my little rant is that we aren’t each others’ enemies, and we should really stop behaving as if we are. Sure, the grass will always look greener on the other gender, but we are not actually that different. And, more importantly, while we continue to work at crossed purposes, we are being collectively oppressed.
Okay, end rant. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment to drink goats' blood and worship Norse Gods with Rupert Murdoch and John Ashcroft. It’s a guy thing…you wouldn’t understand.
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