A letter to the passport office

[OffWithTheirHeads]

An actual or virtual ( I don't know which ) letter to the passport office

Dear sir:

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social security card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!


SHIT!

I apologize, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons)

Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 . I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST CHINA!



Sincerely,

You Sure In The Hell Should Know Who.

[vadawg]

1. rofl, i guess it was one of those days.

[Kali]

2. seems like if you've had 7 or 8 passports you'd know the routine and would be somewhat more prepared

farm questions aren't for the protection of individual barnyard animal's protection from perverts, it's to protect against outbreaks of devastating disease in large areas. You can carry contaminates on your shoes.

[vadawg]

4. the wife has persuaded me to finally get a passport, so soon ill be going to the post office

and dealing with the hell that is the beaurocracy.

[GOPisEvil]

3. If you are just renewing your passport, it's not that difficult.

Go to the Post Office, get the form, fill it out, attach your photo, write a check, give it back to the Post Office. As long as you bring your old passport and it's not expired, renewing them is easy.

[lunatica]

5. Ah yes. I remember my very similar rant a couple of years ago

Only try finding a birth certificate for an American born in another country! The documentation I originally received from the American Embassy when I registered my son (I am a US Citizen) is also no longer valid. My son had to apply to the Department of State for a specific document and it took months. He had to pay to have his Mexican birth certificate translated into English. All this before he even applied for the passport he lost. He already had a passport but he lost it too. That's another story and another nightmare.

Try getting your documents replaced when you lose all of them. In order to get your driver's license you must have a social security card or a passport which you can only get if you have a driver's license. Lose all three and you don't exist anymore.

[av8rdave]

6. Sorry you've had such a hard time with it

My experiences with passport renewals have all been relatively quick and painless.

Dealing with the TSA on the other hand...