how do I answer this email from a HS friend who is really very sweet

[mcctatas]

and I do not want to offend her or her faith? Or is she trying to convert me and I am too naive to realize it?

love to read your witty posts, and your humor is so refreshing. You seem like an incredible and such an amazingly intelligent person. I have to wonder though... so going out on a limb here... and I hope you don't get angry but.. I see that you are an agnostic correct? I wonder how you came to this belief. I am not questioning to try to change your ways, but more to understand your thoughts on this subject. Will you enlighten me?

[geardaddy]

1. Sounds like she IS trying to change you mind.

I would just say that your belief system is a private matter and doesn't concern her.

[Kali]

6. it must be somehow "public" or the question wouldn't have come up

but yeah, if it is private, then just state that

[mzteris]

2. sounds like a question to me. . .

and an opportunity to possibly enlighten her.

I'd say, answer her question. Politely, of course, but truthfully.

[Kali]

3. tell the truth?

What is the harm? Or if you prefer not to talk say that.

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Had the same conversation with matcom a few years back via PM.

It was very respectful and very enlightening. He didn't change my mind; I didn't change his, but it was very educational nonetheless.

And, we're still friends.

[Lil Missy]

5. I'd just give her an honest answer. She asked politely. But,

if she tries to change your mind or convert you, then I'd tell her to go piss up a rope.

[baldguy]

7. She IS belittling & questioning your beliefs.

She can't fathom how someone so witty, humorous & intelligent could be an agnostic.

She insults you & lies to you and YOU'RE trying not to offend HER?

[Orrex]

13. !

:applause:

[mcctatas]

17. Ya know, when I re-read her email I actually thought...

:wtf: I am leaning more and more towards LilMissy's "go piss up a rope"

[jobycom]

30. I don't see it as an insult, I see it as a teaching opportunity.

More than likely, this friend is unaware that a happy agnostic can exist. She has been convinced by years or decades of a sheltered existence that agnostics and atheists and other religionists are inferior, are confused and unhappy.

I have a friend from Nebraska who brought a small child to Texas, and at a gas station the small child walked up to a black man and asked "Are you a monster?" He had never seen a black man before (poor family, no television, very young child). The kid wasn't trying to be mean, he had just never experienced this before.

Many believers in every faith are told constantly that only their faith brings joy, and they have to be educated and unconditioned to accept others. This is a good opportunity to educate. Open up, broaden her world. Maybe this friend will become a more open-minded individual when the OP's existence challenges her very beliefs.

I don't understand the need to feel insulted, I guess. Replying to a close-minded person with a closed mind never opens anything.

[mnhtnbb]

8. Tell her that you'd need a long night at the local pub to enlighten her and your

schedule won't permit that right now.

I think she's trying to engage an opportunity to convert you. Rather than telling her to piss off,
engage your humor and wit to sidestep the request.

[Beer Snob-50]

9. i would not take this intial post as an insult

and i would answer them (nothing too deep, but use the same witty manner you usually talk to them)
nw if the next post starts to get toward conversion then i would lay down the law and say that you don;t wish to discuss this again.

[CreekDog]

10. it might be leading to that, or it might not

my feeling is that if the topic she has brought up is one you want to discuss with her, go for it. if it ever veers in a direction that you don't want to get into, then you can stop it.

since you are in control of what you discuss and engage in, i wouldn't be afraid or fearful. people try to convince each other of things all the time and to disagree is no big deal if the friendship is a good one.

[mikeytherat]

11. Actually, she might be having doubts herself, and now knows she's not so alone.

mikey_the_rat

[Orrex]

12. Here's what you say in response:

I arrived at my agnosticism after realizing that all other beliefs are ridiculous. Especially monotheism, which is atheism minus a sense of commitment.

[mcctatas]

18. oooohhhh...

that's good :applause:

[GreenPartyVoter]

14. I say assume nothing about her motives and decide strictly on whether or not this is a subject you

wish to discuss and go from there.

[guitar man]

15. This is how I would answer her

I'd just tell her this: I believe the way I do because nothing has ever been presented to me that proves otherwise. And no,I won't be swayed by a "holy text", arguments from some cleric, pseudo-science or apparition on a grilled cheese sandwich. I would require serious, hard scientific proof to convince me otherwise and, no offense intended to you or your beliefs, but I doubt your up to that task.

:shrug:

[lunatica]

16. What's wrong with the truth?

If you're going to have a friend wouldn't it be better to be honest from the beginning? If the honesty makes you decide not to pursue the friendship then it's ended before anyone feels betrayed.

[OmahaBlueDog]

22. Agreed, when in doubt, tell the truth

[trof]

19. Juat answer as honestly as you know how?

[Symarip]

20. Tell her it was the satanic cult meetings that really made you question your faith

That, and the liberal-jew-queer media.

Then ask her if she wants a brochure.

[mcctatas]

21. Or I could say seeing this was what made me lose my faith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NOZU2iPA8

[Tangerine LaBamba]

23. Oh, you just KNOW where this one is going ......

I mean, do you need a road map or is it the sound of the Jehovah's Witnesses knocking on your door that's making you miss what's right under your nose?

I'd ignore it, carry on the friendship, such as it is, and if she brings it up again, tell her that it's a very private matter.

If she continues, brings it up again, let's all get together and show her our pitchforks and flaming torches.

[astral]

24. I don't see anything wrong

with friends discussing differing belief systems with each other IF THEY WANT TO.

She may find it hard to believe you are an agnostic. She may feel everyone eventually finds God.

[DeepBlueC]

25. I would just ignore it

It will be a tedious conversation.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

26. drunk dial her at 4 am

and tell her you are gonna shove her.....ohhhh never mind.

[mcctatas]

31. ummmmm baby

i think you confused your pure as driven snow 'sconi tundra flower with some aggro jackass from the east coast :P

[PaddyBlueEyes]

33. Honey..you are right...

must be you using not for nothing all the time.. :rofl:

[mitchum]

27. Tell her that agnosticism is not a freaking BELIEF!

Although her little tiny mind won't be able to grasp that idea

[gmoney]

28. "I'm agnostic because I'm 'incredible and such an amazingly intelligent person' as you said."

Then profess your belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

[jobycom]

29. Answer honestly and in detail. That's what I did recently.

A high school friend of mine asked in her most innocent voice "If you're an atheist, where do you find peace and happiness?" So I gave her a five paragraph explanation on my beliefs. I made sure to explain what I believed, how strongly I believed it, roughly why I believed it, and how I was quite fine in the peace and happiness department. Nothing mean, nothing attacking her or her faith, nothing snarky or defensive. Just a positive answer.

There was nothing for her to work on, and contrary to what she had been told by her various ministers, I did not display any doubt or confusion or sense of being lost. She responded basically by saying "Oh, well, that gives me a lot to think about," and she never brought it up again, and we are still friends. :)

[stewartcolbert08]

32. I dont thin she is t trying to change your mind

It sounds to me like she really is curious but the mind changing thing will probably follow.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. tell her...you also believe that

you will have another beer.

[Iggo]

35. Answer her: "No. Thank you."