Ladies: If THE Abe Lincoln came back in a time machine and propositioned you...

[LostInAnomie]

... to a night of passionate love making, what would you do?

[LeftyMom]

1. He already had a beard.

Thanks to the "History" channel, I now know that Honest Abe was a total 'mo.

[LostInAnomie]

2. He's propositioning you though.

That has to count for something in furthering his "hetero" cred.

[LeftyMom]

4. While I have a well-known weakness for tall, skinny guys*, we all know I hate facial hair**,

Republicans***, omnis,**** and the undead.*****

* clearly I'm flexible on this one
** this too
*** some principles I have to stick with
**** see above
***** well zombies anyhow, vampires are hot

[kentauros]

3. I was just talking to one of my neighbors and he said I should turn on that

History channel show.

So-o, the first Republican President was homosexual. Are Freeper heads 'sploding now, or is it just another accute case of indignation? :P

[Yavin4]

5. Wouldn't Abe Be Cowering In Fear

from the giant steel birds flying in the sky?

[MilesColtrane]

6. I would advise caution.

The stovepipe hat was not named for it's appearance, but for a particular physical attribute of Lincoln.