Why do people get uptight over breastfeeding?

[SPKrazy]

or for that matter about cornflake crusted chicken at Olive Garden. I mean I know the story and history I just don't see the importance of it other than it is kinda funny and makes for a good flamethrowing contest. I don't want this thread to be that. I want to see honesty. What do you really think of breastfeeding?

I think it is a wonderful thing and if people do it then they have an opportunity to bond in a way that non breastfeeders may not. I don't know that for fact, but it would seem logical. I also think that the American Pediatric Association wouldn't recommend it if it weren't a good thing. As for public breastfeeding, big damned deal. I've been in Europe and think we are all too uptight about the female breast. So what if someone is breastfeeding in public. I believe in modesty but goodness gracious aren't there more important things than getting worked up about the whole thing?

As for cornflake crusted chicken, it can taste good.

As for Olive Garden, some places don't have a lot of authentic Italian restaurants and Olive Garden is a stand in. If someone thinks it is so terrible they should start an alternative.

:P

And there you have it, my opinion on the issues that seem to bring DU'ers to frothing at the mouth for some reason....


:D

[Xipe Totec]

1. Envy n/t

[SPKrazy]

13. could be

:shrug:

[Lost in CT]

28. I second envy...

Honestly I think the bikini barrista wars are also about envy... some people don't like woman expressing there well femininity.

[Pool Hall Ace]

61. Who would be envious of breastfeeding?

I hope this is not a crack at childfree women. I had a tubal ligation to make sure I would not become pregnant. I am not the least bit envious of breastfeeding moms. In fact, I don't even pay any attention to them.

If you are talking about other moms being envious of breastfeeding moms, I don't see why they would be envious. :shrug:

If there is anyone I envy, it's men, because they are able to go in certain public places without shirts. I believe a woman should be able to go topless anywhere a man can.

[Xipe Totec]

66. I meant that men are envious of the babies

Let's not search for reasons to pick fights. :hi:

[Pool Hall Ace]

67. Oh, I wasn't trying to pick a fight.

It didn't even occur to me that men could possibly be envious of breastfeeding. :hi:

[Xipe Totec]

70. I was thinking of this Alteon Networks Ad when I posted (warning graphic, funny picture)

We used to be a little less uncomfortable with nudity in the 90's

[Pool Hall Ace]

72. Wow, that ran in the United States?

The prudes would have a field day with that one !

[Xipe Totec]

74. Magazines only; never broadcast

And in California.

And the prudes just sensored it on my photobucket account.

(no longer available)

I guess we have a bunch on assholes monitoring DU too.

Hey assholes! I have a copy! :hi:

[Lyric]

2. See, it's the "modesty" thing that bothers me about these discussions.

I *don't* believe in "modesty." That's a term with too many religious implications for me to tolerate using it or supporting it. I do believe in good manners; I think that we should always try to be conscientious of other peoples' feelings, and try not to deliberately make people upset or uncomfortable if we can help it. However, there MUST be some compromise. If women are expected to try not to offend, then others must meet them halfway and not be so damned easily-offended. For those who think that it's a discourtesy to breastfeed openly where others might be made uncomfortable, did you ever consider how discourteous YOU are being by refusing to compromise and adopt a live-and-let-live approach? As long as the woman isn't sitting there utterly topless, then she IS compromising. The least you could do would be to compromise in return, act like an adult, and exert a little self-control. Really, the occasional momentary flash of bare breast two tables over is NOT going to hurt you in any way, shape, or form.

Live and let live, America. It's really not that hard.

[no name no slogan]

8. I don't believe in enforced modesty

But if somebody is more comfortable covered up, that's their deal. I myself don't like wearing shorts because I don't like how my legs look. Therefore, I wear pants almost the entire year round, unless it gets above 85°

As for breast feeding, I guess I don't understand why it can't be done discretely in public. I can understand how it would make some people uncomfortable, and I could see why it is a necessity for a nursing mother to breastfeed. However, I think people can be reasonable and work out a compromise, i.e., a special section in an establishment for breast feeding, or putting other customers at a table where they won't have to see breast feeding.

It's all about being reasonable. If you're uncomfortable, speak up and try to be accommodating. And if you're making someone uncomfortable, try being a little understanding. It shouldn't be that hard.

[SPKrazy]

25. I think people shouldn't be so hung up on it

its just a tit

and usually it is covered up

and most people are modest without being forced

but point taken, making others uncomfortable isn't the goal I hope, just wondering what is it that makes people so uncomfortable about it.

[miss_american_pie]

68. Babies don't always do discreet very well

My first made much more of a scene out of the process if I tried to throw a blanket over him than if I just left him uncovered. The second couldn't have cared less.

I'm pretty sure the vast majority of mothers hanging out in Olive Garden aren't trying to get people to look at them. But what a picture thread that would make. ;)

[Lyric]

85. LyricKid was one of those babies that, after the age of 4 weeks or so,

he wanted NO part of a blanket over his head. He'd yell and struggle around until the blanket moved. I was fortunate, though. Nobody was ever assholish enough to actually comment about it. Oddly, I was living in conservative, rural Virginia at the time. I guess when you have a community of a LOT of poor, rural people all in one place, they tend to be less uptight about breastfeeding because it's so much more common as a cost-saving measure.

My most embarrassing moment: running into Wal-Mart for diapers and baby wash and hearing someone else's baby start crying. I felt the little ache and tingle-tension in my chest, and then I was running for the bathroom with my shirt held away from me, trying to keep from making a mess. That was the first time something like that had happened, as up until then, I'd been spending most of my time at home. Sadly, I was wearing the disposable "nursing pad" thingies--they just weren't quite absorbent enough to catch it all.

:hi:

[SPKrazy]

88. you be funny MAP

good to see you!

haven't talked in a while

got the big D out of the way

whew... relief

[UTUSN]

77. Thank you.

[SPKrazy]

14. Okay modesty was the word that popped to my head

and I agree with your treatise on this

[av8rdave]

53. I always find it puzzling...

That people will be offended by someone discretely breastfeeding, but don't give a second thought to the slob the next table over that's chewing and smacking with his mouth wide open, or the idiot carrying on a loud cell phone conversation for all to hear.

I think our priorities get mixed up too easily.

[UTUSN]

76. Thank you.

[Taverner]

83. Exactly eom

[tigereye]

3. cuz they are dumb...

JMO from this mom...

[SPKrazy]

15. good analysis

will have to keep that one

[tigereye]

45. usually I'm not that blunt, but I can't really think of a legitimate reason for

complaint, actually.

[OwnedByFerrets]

4. Regular people dont....Americans do.

[SPKrazy]

17. point taken

although as an American, I have to take issue that stereotyping does no good.

[UTUSN]

5. Here I go. Because intimate, personal bodily functions are intimate and personal.

Whoa, if I weren't dead here BEFORE, I *am* now. I think the word "functions" is what did it.



I also said something against cats yesterday.

[SPKrazy]

18. Well don't look then

[UTUSN]

49. Answering the premise of the o.p., "Don't look" is the problem when

the breastfeeding is being FLAUNTED. I think THAT is the point. Plus, the "don't look" formula is putting ME in the position of being the BENIGHTED, PRUDISH, JUDGMENTAL one who is freaking out at a beautiful thing. Why am *I* BEING PUT in that position by the person DIRECTLY IN MY LINE OF SIGHT?!1 By MY looking away, I am supposedly disapproving of BREASTFEEDING, which I DON'T disapprove of. It's not the breastfeeding I'm disapproving of.

For one thing, American culture, specifically American in contrast to the rest of the world, nastifies natural functions into sexualization, particularly women's breasts.

I think that what I'm objecting to here is that there is an implication in the topic that a discreet use of a blanki would be copping out in some way. Are we talking here about the PDA (public display of AUREOLA)? Try "don't look" with that.


Just to dig my hole further, I dislike PDAs (p.d. of AFFECTION) of all sorts. Although a woman once said, "Love needs a witness," uh, why do persons make the (in my view inappropriate) JUDGMENT to play to the gallery, play to the peanut gallery, expose their beautiful intimacies to the uncouth snickers of the crude?


Now, are we talking about a totally UNavoidable NECESSITY of feeding the baby, that NO OTHER PLACE AND TIME COULD BE POSSIBLE? I submit that such unavoidability is not that frequent.


It's like somebody here said about people who have a smug look on their faces when they return a shopping cart to the store, like they're making a profound statement.


Whew!1 I guess I've said all I can!1

[Bunny]

50. Oh poor you.

With your all caps and everything, forced to notice and then disregard a feeding infant. The humanity.

[UTUSN]

51. Ah, how enlightened of you. Your contempt drips. n/t

[Bunny]

52. I am certainly more enlightened than you are, on this issue anyway.

And, I was trying for contempt, so...mission accomplished!

[UTUSN]

57. GASP!1

How *dare* anybody inject a bit of discussion into a discussion board topic!1 Oooo, I missed the memo where everybody was supposed to join in with "I agree!1" or "ain't-it-awful!1" *GASP*!1

[Bunny]

59. Dude, I give up.

I have been dazzled into submission by your caps, quotation marks, exclamation points, and asterisks! And your number ones!

How can I fight on in the face of that?

[UTUSN]

65. You can still yell, "HITLER!1" or keep on hanging on to the last word!1 n/t

[Arugula Latte]

54. "Flaunted"?

Yeah, 'cuz we all know lots of breastfeeding women who strip off their shirts and bras and then light up a big neon sign that says: "HEY! LOOK AT MY TITS!"


:eyes:

[tigereye]

46. feeding one's child isn't something that needs to be private

it isn't the same as going to the bathroom.

[Pacifist Patriot]

64. That's a social more derived from the belief that humans are not just one among many mammals.

[skygazer]

6. The woman at the next table was breastfeeding when my husband and I were out to dinner

the other night. I was not offended, freaked out or disgusted. Neither was my husband. No one else seemed perturbed either. She had the baby discreetly placed under a light blanket but it would not have bothered me had her breast been exposed. Oddly, I am not bothered by breasts. Or babies.

I guess I'm an odd duck. Hopefully, I can elude graywarrior.

[SPKrazy]

19. I like breasts and babies

I don't get the problem

[HopeFor2006]

27. I always tried to be discreet

But my daughter was a very loud and slurpy eater. :P

[graywarrior]

7. Because it causes duckasms

Ask Lil Missy

[Lil Missy]

10. NO, duckasms! I have toys, and AA batteries.

:)

[SPKrazy]

26. stay away from ducks

avoid duckasms

[Lil Missy]

33. That's a promise!

[graywarrior]

43. Can we see?

[SPKrazy]

20. ducks don't mind

:shrug:

[Lil Missy]

9. I could not breastfeed. My tits swelled up and hurt too much. I had to put ice bags on them. My tits

[SPKrazy]

21. That's fine, that's not what the thread was intended to address

or cause some kind of need to explain why one does or doesn't. Some people can't, it doesn't make them less than :D

[lutefisk]

36. Hey, that's not a bad poem! . . . n/t

[Lil Missy]

40. Why do I always see fleas when you post?

:shrug:

[AlCzervik]

11. i have no idea, it didn't bother me before i had a kid or after i had one and did breastfeed

her. it's the most natural thing in the world and good for mother and baby.

[SPKrazy]

22. Very true

very true indeed :D

[flvegan]

12. Puritanical prudish douchebaggery.

There are few societies that get as wrung out by a naked tit as ours and it's pathetic.

Next question?

[AlCzervik]

16. yes indeed, same country where it's just fine and dandy to watch Saw but Milk, omg no!

[SPKrazy]

24. good point!

[SPKrazy]

23. True

I mean, a tit is a tit is a tit...why are we so hung up still, are we still puritanical?

[Lil Missy]

29. Agreed. I think a baby breastfeeding is a true beautiful wonder.

Dogs and cats do it. Why not humans? It's most natural.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

44. well stated. i thought you were rabrrrrr for a second!

:)

[flvegan]

48. I thank you for that high compliment!

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

30. Uptight? I always considered it rather relaxing.

...of course, that's from a male's perspective.... :evilgrin:

[Manifestor_of_Light]

31. It's part of the Mommy Wars.

Women get very attached to their ways of mothering. One of those is the breast versus the bottle.
Some women cannot breastfeed, which is OK. They should not feel guilty.

I breastfed my child for almost three years and caught all kinds of hell for it from my hubby, my mother and my MIL. None of them had ever breastfed a child. They thought I was sick.

I was raised on Sobee (soymilk), because my mother refused to breastfeed me, although she had plenty of milk, and I have tons of allergies and I am allergic to soy. :grr:

The other big issue of the Mommy Wars is natural childbirth and midwives. I am militant about the fact that I had to have a C-section when I had my baby back in the 80s; otherwise I would have died. No question about it.

So to me,women who think that they failed if they had a C-section, are to be pitied, because childbirth is NOT a contest, and everyone is different.

I really don't give a damn about the wallpaper in the hospital. I want competent nurses and doctors there to make sure that my baby and I are both safe and healthy. There are women out there who think that every single woman can deliver vaginally, they just need to "wait longer" or "turn the baby" (including someone on DU). That is just not true.

[Lyric]

34. Yep. I always feel sorry for those women who are militant about "natural"

childbirth and parenting--not because I think they're wrong, but only because I've had three friends who were absolutely devastated when the reality did not jive with the perfect, beautiful fantasy that they had painted for themselves, and it breaks my heart to think that other people are going to go through that hurt and disappointment. The most recent was three years ago--a LiveJournal friend who had her natural, doula-assisted homebirth planned down to the last detail, only to end up needing an emergency c-section because her ten-pound baby girl went into fetal distress after almost 23 hours of unproductive, excruciating labor. She was so depressed about it; she blamed herself for not doing enough "stretching exercises" (don't ask me, I have NO idea) and she even spent a day mad at her doula for calling the rescue squad "too soon." She stopped being angry when her doctor flat-out told her that if not for the 911 call, her baby would probably have died.

She is now pregnant again, and is no longer worried about "natural" birth--she just wants a healthy baby.

As for me, when I have my next baby, I'm cool with whatever happens, so long as the end result is a healthy baby and a healthy ME.

:)

[cherish44]

35. It's sad when the birth experience becomes all about the mother and not the baby

My daughter was the star of the show at her birth not me. I didn't want a C-section, of course not. But in the ended it happened. My doctor said, well you could have given birth vaginally, it would have been to a dead baby, but it would have been a vaginal birth. Can't get more frank and to the point than that. Anyway I didn't fret a single second over having a C section. There's no such thing as a second rate birth. My sister worked as an occupational therapist with a kid with severe cerebral palsy who would never walk or talk because his mom didn't want anything like medical intervention to interfere with "her" home birth experience.

[Lyric]

37. I had to have a c-section too.

My baby was too big, thanks to gestational diabetes that went untreated for too long. It didn't bother me a bit. All I cared about was having a healthy baby.

I have no beef with the ladies who WANT the whole natural birth experience--hey, more power to ya if that's what you choose. The only thing that irks me is when people decide to present their personal preferences as being so much better that they, by extension, are "better" than everyone else. There is no such thing as a "bad" childbirth if it results in a healthy mommy and a healthy baby.

Saying that natural birth is inherently "better" than hospital birth is kinda like saying that winning 100 dollars on a lottery ticket is "better" than winning 95 dollars. Sure it is, but that doesn't mean that winning 95 dollars is a BAD thing.

[cherish44]

39. Yes I think natural childbirth would have been nice

I had wanted to everything without pain medication and it didn't work out that way. My friend had her baby about a week after my daughter was born and she had fully intended to have an epidural the second it was ok to administer it. It turns out her doc didn't get there in time and she went through the whole birth with no pain relief at all and she was disppointed because the birth was so painful and exhausting she couldn't enjoy the baby until the next day. So I guess everyone has a different concept on what a good birth experience is. But in the end, most moms agree a success birth is delivering a healthy baby.

[tigereye]

47. I remember thinking, no the soothing bird sounds and the vanilla candle

weren't going to cut it, as well as thinking that they didn't tell us we would have to push for 2 hours! :D


I think people need to do what is safe - I had complications and I was damn glad there were staff at the hospital who knew what to do to keep me and the baby safe. Although I envy folks who had water births (that sounds pretty cool), I think the bottom line is do what needs to be done for all to be well at the end of the process.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

71. Yep, heavy drugs for me!

The hole in the mom's pelvis has to be four inches in diameter, or the baby's head will not go through. And if the baby is bigger than, say, 6 or 7 pounds, then their head will be bigger too.
I am not a nurse or a doctor, but this is what I understand about it.

The woman on DU who disagreed with my C-section implied that, if I could not deliver an 8 pound baby vaginally, I probably had malnutrition (rickets) that would have kept my pelvis from growing.
That is absolutely wrong. I was not malnourished. I am a petite, small boned woman and I have narrow hips. I am also short-waisted. I did not have enough room to carry an 8 pound baby without being so huge I was almost unable to walk. I had to stop working at 24 weeks. The kid was jammed in diagonally. Pregnancy is very hard on small women like me. It's that simple. Tall women, and women with a wide wheelbase, don't have problems.

My doctor told me I would have to have a mandatory C-section. I am glad he told me that. I have heard horror stories from women who needed a c section, because their pelvis wasn't big enough, and whose doctors were not smart enough to figure this out beforehand. I had absolutely NO dilation and NO dropping. And the contractions stopped completely. That was a big clue.

I had a spinal before delivery, and was flat on my back in bed for two days, had a catheter in me for four days. They brought the baby in every four hours round the clock so I could nurse her, and that worked out well. I was in no condition to take care of a baby myself for several weeks while I was recuperating. My mother stayed with me. Hubby refused to take any time off work to help out(yes, we are divorced).

Pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous and exhausting. Yes, childbirth is a natural process, but it also can kill women and babies. Back in the olden days one-third of women died in childbirth, before medical interventions, and even now many thousands of women die in childbirth where they cannot get medical attention.

[UTUSN]

78. Thank you.

[Lil Missy]

38. Forget what you hear on DU. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one.

[cherish44]

32. Ya know what? Breastfeed or don't breastfeed...but don't judge other people's choices

Because bottom line it's nunya business.

[UTUSN]

79. Thank you.

[SPKrazy]

87. and you think I was judging you

:rofl:

I don't even know you

and breastfeeding is a natural thing

so don't judge me

[JCMach1]

41. Dude feed the Chicken to Your Pitbull as you take him to be euthanized

for the benefit of us all... :sarcasm:

[PVnRT]

42. Teh bewbs

[TZ]

55. Same reason people got upset about the Janet Jackson thing

Its a boob its naughty and dirty don't ya know..:sarcasm:
its cause this country is still so damn puritanical that the female form is considered dirty.

[Taverner]

56. I do not think it is a beautiful and wonderful thing. I do not think it is a vile and ugly thing.

To me it is just a thing

Something some people do to feed their baby

It doesn't offend me, but I also don't see why one should have "pride" in breastfeeding. Breastfeeders are not a persecuted minority.

And at the same time, when people get all in an uproar because of it, that makes no sense. Its not as if the mom is shoving her boob in your face, so why get bent out of shape?

[UTUSN]

80. Thank you.

[Deep13]

58. jealousy (edit)

I see someone already cited envy. :7

[Deep13]

60. It reminds me of something I would rather be doing!

:evilgrin:

[Amaya]

62. because americans are afraid of breasts

:scared:

[UTUSN]

81. Thank you.

[Name removed]

63. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[RagAss]

69. Uh...because they have small peckers?

[kentauros]

73. You can thank the show "Little Britain" for the current-day's "revulsion"

:P

Meeting the Parents

[Nikia]

75. I've barely gone anywhere in public with my baby

Because I worry what people will think of me breast feeding on public. If he is hungry and not being fed, he gets very cranky which people also seem to disapprove of.

[UTUSN]

82. Thank you.

[tigereye]

86. congratulations! You shouldn't worry, I never had a problem and I fed my

son everywhere. I just had a nursing shirt and wore a lot of vests - no one ever said anything.

[Currently Unemployed]

84. Because I'm a big guy and a gallon of cows milk lasts longer...

and it's a lot cheaper in the long run!

Just kidding, my kids breastfed for a long time and I have no problem with it.

Currently Unemployed

[SPKrazy]

89. this is kind of funny

people read all kinds of things into a post



etc.

I made some statements

not judging, I don't give two shits who breast feeds

just stated some facts

and wondered why people are uptight about it

and then went into another subject as an aside.

:D

ya gotta understand

this is da lounge