Dorothy Parker or Clare Booth Luce?

[XemaSab]

:shrug:

[MrScorpio]

1. Parker, without a doubt

If only for the Algonquin Round Table

[enigmatic]

2. Dorothy Parker

If only for "Horsie", one of the great short-stories of the last century:

http://books.google.com/books?id=A1Nv6rhIhRMC&pg=PA170&lpg=PA170&dq=dorothy+parker+horsie&source=bl&ots=ghFdO1Wpr6&sig=6NTNpYTtJ1jT9C4qOi3RE1SnW0g&hl=en

[Starry Messenger]

3. Dorothy Parker, FTW.

One of my heroes.

[Richard Steele]

4. Clare Booth WHO, now? nm

[begin_within]

5. Here's some Dorothy quotes

• I'm never going to be famous. I don't do anything, not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

• I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

• Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

• I know that there are things that never have been funny, and never will be. And I know that ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

• You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.

• Women and elephants never forget.

• I might repeat to myself slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound -- if I can remember any of the damn things.

• Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

• Four be the things I'd have been better without:
Love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

• If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.

• As only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.

• Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, may be prolonged to that point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.

• Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.

• Summer makes me drowsy.
Autumn makes me sing.
Winter's pretty lousy,
But I hate Spring.

• Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.

• He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.

• Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

• The pure and worthy Mrs. Stowe
Is one we all are proud to know
As mother, wife, and authoress --
Thank God, I am content with less!
about Harriet Beecher Stowe

• That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.

• A girl's best friend is her mutter.

• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

• Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.

• Salary is no object; I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.

• Money cannot buy health, but I'd settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair.

• The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'

• If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

• The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

• The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant -- and let the air out of the tires.

• Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.

• It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard.

• All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

• Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

• Scratch a lover, and find a foe.

• Men don't like nobility in woman. Not any men. I suppose it is because the men like to have the copyrights on nobility -- if there is going to be anything like that in a relationship.

• That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.

• People are more fun than anybody.

• I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

• You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

• Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life.

• The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.

• Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

• This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

• She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

• The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

[elleng]

6. Four be the things I am wiser to know:

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Three be the things I shall never attain: envy, content and sufficient champagne.

Three be the things I shall have till I die:
Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye.


Inventory

[sarge43]

10. Dear Dotty answering the phone ....

"Call me later. I'm fucking busy and visa-versa."

[timtom]

11. I've always loved Dorothy Parker.

However, in the spirit of equal time, here are some Clare Booth Luce quotes:

• Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes.

• Thoughts have no sex.

• Male supremacy has kept woman down. It has not knocked her out.

• If God had wanted us to think with our wombs, why did he give us a brain?

• Censorship, like charity, should begin at home, but unlike charity, it should end there.

• No good deed goes unpunished.

• There are no hopeless situations; there are only men who have grown helpless about them.

• Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.

• Love is a verb.

• In the final analysis there is no other solution to man's progress but the day's honest work, the day's honest decision, the day's generous influences, and the day's good deed.

• All autobiographies are alibi-ographies.

• They say women talk too much. If you have worked in Congress, you know that the filibuster was invented by men.

• A man's home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery.

• A man has only one escape from his old self: to see a different self in the mirror of some woman's eyes.

• Money can't buy happiness, but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

• A woman's best production is a little money of her own.

• There is nothing harder than the softness of indifference.

• Advertising has done more to cause the social unrest of the 20th century than any other single factor.

• Communism is the opiate of the intellectuals with no cure except as a guillotine might be called a cure for dandruff.

• Nature abhors a virgin -- a frozen asset.

• I'm in my anecdotage.

• I don't have a warm personal enemy left. They've all died off. I miss them terribly because they helped define me.

• Lying increases the creative faculties, expands the ego, and lessens the frictions of social contacts.

• They are vulgar and dirty-minded and alien to grace, and I would not, if I could, which I hasten to say I cannot, cross their obscenities with a wit which is foreign to them and gild their futilities with the glamour which by birth and breeding and performance they do not possess.

Quite passionate with just a soupçon of bitterness.

[begin_within]

12. Awesome, thanks

[sarge43]

15. Love that last one "They are vulgar and ...."

Perfect description of today's Republican party and my opinion of it.

[SteppingRazor]

13. There's also her standard line whenever her phone rang:

"What fresh hell is this?!"


Dorothy Parker was one of a kind.

[6000eliot]

7. "Pearls before swine."

That's how Parker answered Luce when Luce said "Age before beauty" as they were going through a door.

[elleng]

8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

.

[Demoiselle]

17. YES!

Since Dottie won the head to head contest, I think we can safely call her the winner.

[LeftyMom]

9. Did Dorothy Parker ever give you Ann Coulter in a fur?

http://www.cblpi.org/calendar/

[trof]

14. One Martini, at most.

Two, and I'm under the table.
Three, and I'm under the host.

Something along those lines.
Too lazy to look it up.

[tigereye]

16. Parker, no question

[arcadian]

18. Clare Booth Luce, ultraconservative, Cold Warrior, Washington insider.

Strange things happened at Longlea.