Dating Tips--Good or Bad

[WillyBrandt]

Post em!

I had a German friend who made it a total policy to never, ever pay for a girl. Now, if something developed, he's consider paying, but he wouldn't take a potential date out for dinner and pay for both of them. Wouldn't buy two tickets or pay for both coffees.

I used to make fun of him for this, but I'm starting to think that made a lot of sense. I never got anything for paying, except for a meal that cost me twice as much as I should have payed. Rather, what would have happened would have happened whether I paid or not.

[furrylitldevil]

1. Here's a tip

Don't.

[KissMyAsscroft]

2. Never pay for someone on the first date.

It shouldn't be a long date anyway.

Ugh...dating sucks.

[LearnedHand]

3. Depends on who's inviting whom out to dinner

If you ask a woman out, she may assume you mean to pay. If I ask someone to dinner, I always say, "I'm payin," or "I can't pay for 2 dinners, but I'll buy the dessert," or "How 'bout we go dutch this time." I know it's awkward, but it's better than having someone assume I'm paying and me feeling resentful for it. Or for emptying my account before the week is up.

A "policy" doesn't leave much room for flexibility. I find that most of my friends are like I am about who pays for what; i.e., we always try to clarify up front.

(Boring answer, but it seems to work for me.)

[camero]

4. I hate dating

Too many trumped up rules. I would rather be spontaneous and open about it. I shouldn't have to always decide where to go. I'm not a mind reader. Discussing the terms of the date is a much better way to go, IMO.

[Fleshdancer]

5. The problem with dating tips....

is that people abide by these odd, self made rules and attempt to apply them with every person in every situation. It doesn't make sense to me.

[ALago1]

6. Pre-Dating tip...

Before I entered my present relationship, it had always been my policy to never under any circumstances by drinks for a girl at a bar.

I think this is sound advice. I have seen many friends get burned by women after spending hard earned cash buying them drinks all night.

The fact is, some women will take advantage of a guy in the form of getting free drinks if they perceive that he is very attracted to her and is interested in getting to know her more, even if she does not have mutual feelings for him.

Thus, I don't pay for drinks as a way of insuring that the lady is spending her time with me because she has some interest in me, not my potential to get her drunk...

[WillyBrandt]

7. How about buying girls REALLY BAD drinks?

Popov and milk, that sort of thing :)

[ALago1]

10. Now there's an idea!

"Barkeep, give me one round of everclear and tequila please..."

[WillyBrandt]

Bartender, boil me a pint of Pabst for the lady!

And throw some lozenges in there too!

[camero]

14. lol and a shot of pepto-bismol n/t

[furrylitldevil]

8. Ever had a woman buy you drinks before?

I did, it was weird. I didn't know how to react to it, but the only reason she did was because she was three sheets to the wind before I even showed up.

[ALago1]

11. Nope, hasn't happened

I can imagine being weirded out by the whole affair.

[camero]

13. Yeah it happened to me too

I was kinda surprised by it also.

[Exultant Democracy]

9. I can't help myself I always pay

at least early in a relationship. The way I see it is that if I ask someone to dinner then I should pay.

The college life simplifies many of the more confusing aspects of dating. For example I've usually hooked up with a girl already before I ask them out.

[jpgray]

12. The Tao of dating--stop looking, and you immediately find someone

He who does not compete, has no competitors.

:o

:D

[chicagostudent]

15. hmmm

It seems like the more you act like you are not interested in a girl, the more interested she is.

Don't take any sh*t from any girl, that would be my advice.

Have you noticed that when you are taken, girls seem to come around? Same idea as above.

[retread]

16. Paying for a date and expecting "something" in return is crass.

*

[KG]

17. gee, i enjoy buying a dinner, or a couple drinks

for an interesting, mature and attractive lady.

[fudge stripe cookays]

18. But then...

if the woman expected you to pay (if you did the asking, for instance), there's that danger that you have really offended her.

In that case, there can BE no more than one date, because you annoyed her so heartily on the first. She'll never go out with you again, most likely.

If you want to go this route, I'd suggest really cultivating a love of coffee. It's not so bad to "meet someone for coffee."

Number 1, it's more of a Dutch type situation
Number 2, if you do end up paying, your bank account isn't out quite as much cash.

[grannylib]

19. Best Tip Ever: Be friends first and foremost...nothing romantic will work

long-term if that element is lacking from the relationship

[MissMillie]

20. Bad tips

1) Wait 3 days to call.

2) Never let them know you care.

3) If you haven't had sex by the 3rd date, it's going nowhere--end it.

[BiggJawn]

21. Depends on who invites who. Still valid even after 6 years.

If i invite her out to dinner, I pay. If she suggests we go to a movie, she pays, and if I suggest dinner first or after, I pay..
Been a workable policy for the 6 years we've been together.

Forget silly notions like "I payed for dinner and didn't get anything...".
If that's where it's at for you, get more bang for your buck and buy a blow-job and stop off for drive-through on your way back home..

[TXlib]

22. My own $0.02

I think dating etiquette requires the asker to buy -- if it's a formal date.

If this is a problem, don't take your date to a 5-star french restaurant on your first date, unless you are dripping wads of cash.

I contend that when you first 'notice' somebody, you should ask him/her out, right then and there, to a fairly immediate, and informal, mini-date:

"Hey, I'm going for coffee; come with me!"

If s/he accepts, this is informal enough that I don't think the asker should presume to pay for the other; let the other person set the tone. It may very well be that by paying, the other person may jump to conclusions about what you expect.

Use this time to get to know the other person; ask them about themselves (everybody's favorite subject, don'tchya know?). You'll find out off the bat if they're available, first, and if there's any mutual interests that would attract you beyond looks or whatever superficial personality quirk made you notice to begin with.

If your mini-date (depending on how well it goes, and how much time you both have, it could last anywhere from 5 minutes to all afternoon) goes well, follow up immediately with a suggestion to meet for dinner. If the other person accepts, you should consider this a formal date, and offer to pay for the other person. (NOTE: I think it's gauche, and a little desperate-sounding to offer to pay while you're asking the other person out. Unless the other person brings up the topic first, just catch the check and pay it yourself as soon as you can; make sure the server knows to hand YOU the bill.)

If the other person INSISTS on paying for their share, don't push.

And now a tip for the person being asked on a formal date: As long as the date would be financially within your means comfortably, don't ask in advance who's paying. Always assume it is dutch, but give your date a discrete opportunity to pick up the bill first. Always order from the menu as if you are paying for your own meal. And finally, if you were asked out, you certainly are NOT responsible for the other person's bill; you may offer, if you feel you want to, but never allow your date to make you feel as if you should pay for both of you.

[Kamika]

23. Be a gentleman

Hold up doors, pay for us etc.

Do not talk about computer games, star trek, sex, or "guy" stuff