OK, folks... I need some of that good Lounge advice

[mreilly]

Hi all, I'm an IT guy working in a small shop and we've taken on a new hire (whom I'll call Jack) to assist with some of our tasks.

Jack is a good worker and diligent, but unfortunately is having some personality conflicts (getting talked down to and treated condescendingly) with a team member I'll call Ben. Ben has been with the company forever - and in fact hired me - but got demoted due to his poor managerial skills (and it was a good thing as I would have quit had I worked for him any longer).

Ben's a decent guy personally, and there are moments when working with him can be a lot of fun. However, other times it sucks working with him because he's moody, a know-it-all and thinks whatever he's doing is automatically the most important thing going on in the company. As I said, he's been with the company forever and relishes letting you know that. At every single, possible turn. Ben frequently comes up with plans for stuff "We" should do, which always seems to translate into stuff "You" should do. Simply put, it seems like he looks down on the stuff others are engaged in as being menial or insignificant.

So, I'm concerned here that Jack is going to move on and leave the job because of Ben's personality. I've spoken with him a bit about Ben, explaining my own strategy is to simply ignore his negative behavior, but frankly that hasn't worked all too well for me either, since it builds up a resentment in me that I don't enjoy carrying. It also makes me avoid Ben in any kind of situation where I need information or assistance, since he either acts like its beneath him or I'm an idiot for not knowing.

So, the question is, do I get the boss/HR involved here or is that going too far? I can guarantee right off the bat that sending Ben to the "principal's office" will not help long-term, but on the other hand I'm going to be really pissed off if Jack walks due to Ben, as that will result in an immediate overbearing increase in my workload. I'm not going to tiptoe around a problem coworker, but I'm also not going to draw lines and square up friends vs. enemies. We all have to work together as I have no intention of leaving this job, myself.

[NJmaverick]

1. If you are not a manager or in charge, in any way

the best thing you can do is stay out of the conflict. You can advise Ben that he can speak to his supervisor, about his problems, but I wouldn't suggest going any further than that. Unfortunately for you, you are just going to have to see how it plays out. There is little more you really should do about it.

[HopeHoops]

2. Stay as clear from that one as you can. Not your business.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. I would stay out of it. No good deed goes unpunished. --

Stay professionally polite to everyone.

[ipfilter]

4. I wouldn't get in the middle of someone elses personality conflicts.

Even though you have a vested interest in doing so i.e. your workload. It sounds like to you have the ability to see past Ben's personality and not let it impact your career/life. I work in IT as well, and the personality you describe in Ben is pervasive throughout IT. Perhaps you could remind Jack that he is likely to suffer far worse personalities somewhere else.

All of my favorite co-workers and friends left for greener pastures during the tech boom. I don't particularly like my current crop of colleagues, but I'm here to pay my bills and fund my future retirement. Some people have staying power, some don't.