Caring for your Introvert

[Fenris]

Read all about the hidden and oppressed:

http://www.theatlantic.com/issues/2003/03/rauch.htm

God, I wish I didn't see myself in that article.

[tedoll78]

1. Wow!

I'll have to show this to my partner - he's such an extrovert, and I've always needed "alone time."

[I AM SPARTACUS]

2. "If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer..."

"If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place."

thank you Fenris...

[Fenris]

3. Your welcome. I found this and had to share.

We are an oft misunderstood breed.

[MrScorpio]

4. Yep, that's me alright

Just to let you know; I'm doing fine. Now go away.

[renegade000]

5. introverts rock

power to us

[dweller]

6. Hell is other people

INFJ,
dp

edit: links
http://keirsey.com/
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp
http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm

[TheDebbieDee]

7. Describes me to a "T".

I read this article when it first came out a year ago, and it answered so many questions about me and why I am the way I am.

After I read that article, I realized that there is nothing wrong with me and others like me, we're not crazy - we're just wired differently than most people.

[populistmom]

8. That was very interesting

I'm one of those not-shy introverts. I mean, I suppose at times, I'm a big geek, but I can hold my own socially in a subdued way without much problem (far from dancing with lampshades on my head though), but I'm married to a more socially apprehensive person who is an extrovert. Never made sense until this article. We're one of those couples that look good on paper, but sometimes our personalities clash so much. I have known for years I was an INFP, but recently found out he was an ESTJ- the polar opposite. We care for each other deeply, have many of the same goals, interests, so it never made sense why we clashed so much sometimes until I found this out.
Not that this stuff is the ultimate answer, but I felt the need to ramble again, so I did I guess. It's a part of something anyway.

This article gives a really good explanation about us introverts and why we need our space at times. It's how our brains work. It's WHO we are. Respect that. Understand that. :)

[camero]

9. Thanks for this article

I found myself there too.

[Spider Jerusalem]

10. Yes...

remember reading that when it was published. I can relate to an extreme degree. But, then, I'm very introverted...MBTI scores me as INTP, and I score as type five on the enneagram (those 2 seem to correlate, somehow).

And the fact that I'm autistic (Asperger's Syndrome) probably has something to do with my introversion.

[Bertha Venation]

44. Wow! My nephew just got that diagnosis -- Asperger's.

Will he be able to have a "normal" life -- y'know, dates, friends, jobs, etc.? He's 19 now, and . . . hmm . . . how to describe him?

As for Mrs. V. and me, we're both introverts. Of course, that's what "they" (in the psychology biz) used to call homosexuals.

[Donkeyboy75]

11. I'm in the introvert category

The passage that mentioned having to "turn yourself on" in social situations especially resonated with me.

[nickgutierrez]

12. Um... they're talking about me.

"Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk?"

They have got me nailed.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

46. Jesus? Is that you? (nt)

[nickgutierrez]

52. OW! MY HAND!

Not quite.

[flaminbats]

13. Instead introverts explode on a bad day, thus becoming nuclear extroverts

what may help are more introverts who reach out to teach others and extroverts who spend more time developing thoughts rather than criticizing others...

[neverborn]

14. Me. All me.

[ALago1]

15. Wow. Great Article.

INTJ here. My parents and sister are extroverts so when I lived at home growing up it was often very irritable for me and I couldn't adequately express to them why I needed to just be off on my own sometimes. Thus, leading them to think I was "anti-social" and "too serious"

Now I understand that we were just different types of people. Fascinating!

[camero]

18. INTJ here too

and we're only 1% of the population.

[supernova]

23. INTJ checking in

Do you feel like a "mastermind?" I wonder sometimes. Thought I *do* have rather elaborate and exhaustive thought processes.

Yes, I am an INTJ girl. :D INTJs make up only one part of the population and only a small percentage of us INTJs are female. :crazy:

Because of that, I've gotten interested in how the personality types match up with percieved gender characteristics. I say this because, since taking the test, I've realized that I have to make an effort to appear more feminine. I'm usualy quite tomboyish. But that's typical of INTJ females. I've been on contact with other INTJ females on the yahoo boards who also say they have trouble being percieved as "feminine." And yes, most of them dressed like sloppy teenage boys too! :D

When times are stressful I can register near the extreme high end of "I" but when I'm more calm I move a bit closer to the I/E boundary. But I still require alone time.

The social situations I find most meaningful are usually just hanging out with maybe one or two other friends.

I believe it's at the Kersey site, but was anyone else disturbed by the comparision to Ayn Rand? :puke: I didn't mind Eisenhower though.

[On the Road]

25. My Ex-Wife Was an INTJ

She claimed all philosophers were, and that's why there were so few women philosophers.

I'm a bordeline INTP/INFP. We understood each other implicitly and never had problems with down time, etc. But two introverted personalites can be hard on each other.

On the other hand, my girlfriend now is an extrovert. More passionate, but with the all the problems detailed in the article.

[supernova]

34. Two introverts

Yes, do think that would be hard. It's just too easy to stay secluded if that's your natual inclination. True of me anyway.

One of my requirements of a next LTR is that my partner be more extroverted but definitely more understanding of my need to "beg off" at times. I realize I would definitely benefit from a more social partner, but most men I meet, who are as intellectual as I require, are introverts like me, go figure? *scratching my head* at trying to figure out the best pattern here.

[camero]

41. I don't feel like a mastermind

But alot of times I think we can see the big picture so to speak. Time spent alone thinking tends to do that.

I also find hanging out with one or two friends to be more meaningful and enjoyable. All my dates have been with extroverts so I couldn't tell you how two introverts would match up. I would think it would work if each respected the other's alone time and were open with each other about it.

My best friends were the ones I could hang out with in complete silence.

[supernova]

49. Ah, but you are, camero!

MWUHAHAHAHAHAH!


:D

I know what you mean about the big picture. I'm always looking for the most all-encompassing reasons for things that I can find.

[camero]

53. I just had to :)

:D

[Sufi Marmot]

16. Hey, look at all the other introverts! We should get together sometime!

Kidding... ;-) Seriously, I'm an INXJ, and an only child to boot, so I jealously guard my privacy and personal time. Hell certainly is other people...

-SM, who could probably live happily ever after without the encumbrances of significant others and/or children...

[CrownPrinceBandar]

17. Another introvert here.....

M-B says I'm a ISTJ. Never really figured out what the numbers really mean. The test I took classified me as a "trustee". 11.6% of the population are in my personality type. Only child as well.

[BuelahWitch]

19. I'm one too

All my life I've been called "stuck up" just because I prefer to be by myself. This part also "Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk?" describes me to a T. I've always thought "How can I be introverted when I've been able to sing in front of an audience?" That one sentence explains it.

[yellowdawgdem]

20. That pretty well describes me

Well, it's a start that we are now being described and studied. :shrug

[SpaceCatMeetsMars]

21. I have found Meyers-Briggs to be so helpful

I tested an INFP and my husband tested an INFJ, both under 2% of the population. No wonder we found each other so compatible and had never meshed with former boyfriends and girlfriends. Neither one of us are shy, but both require lots of private time. It's funny how society tries to make you feel like a freak for that. It's so nice to grow older and not care what anybody else thinks.

[buddhamama]

22. describes me well

the need to be alone can take a toll on relationships.

i am fortunate to have understanding from loved ones.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

24. I'm much worse. I'm a weird introvert/extrovert melange.

[PVnRT]

27. The spice!

The worm is the spice! The spice is the worm!

[PVnRT]

26. That's me, perfectly

God, I wish other people would just SHUT THE FUCK UP. Sorry. Especially at meetings. Extroverts should be forced to have meetings with themselves so that us productive people can actually get shit done.

[TrogL]

30. I attend a technical meeting of introverts

Occasionally one of the extrovert manager-types drops by, gets totally frustrated by the lack of off-topic content and leaves in a huff.

[PVnRT]

32. Man, that would be paradise

No small talk bullshit, just shut up and get to the point...heaven...

[TXlib]

28. That is me.

And I find it tiresome when somebody asks me, "Are you OK?", or "What's wrong?" when I'm thinking.

[Fenris]

31. Yes. Yes. YES!

Extroverted people cannot seem to grasp the fact that silence does not always mean that something is amiss.

[supernova]

36. Small Talk! Aaargh!

Small Talk. Chit Chat. Schmoozing. Whatever you want to call it, I'm no good at it whatsoever. x(

I have a limited capacity for it and limited patience. But I think it hurts my career. And I'm not sure how to get around it.

I've often said that in a previous life I most have been one of those Irish Monks on the extreme western edge of the Island, living in a stone hut, copying manuscripts by candlelight. :7

[Lars39]

37. Or worse, "What's wrong with you?"

I married into a very extroverted family, so I've heard that one a lot. Especially after being dragged off for 6 hours of mall shopping!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. :silly:

[supernova]

38. Yes, I get that one too

"Is everything all right?"

Huh? Was it wrong to start with?

I can only think my normal "contemplative face" must be taken as an "I'm upset" face.

[kitkatrose]

50. Or even better, an "I'm pissed off and you better get outta my way"

face. Bah, I have friends who feel the need to socialize me and drag me every place they go, because they feel I'll get lonely by myself. I can amuse myself thank you very much.

[camero]

51. I know exactly what you mean

My friends call that look on me the "death look".

[TrogL]

45. Ank does that to me

Ank: Is something wrong?
TrogL: Yes.
Ank: What?
TrogL: You're talking.

[TrogL]

29. Ank and I fight like cats and dogs

He's one of those extroverts so seems incapable of any interal dialog at all. Every passing thought (and he's ADD, so there's a lot of them) passes his lips.

I literally can't get a word in edgewise without screaming or throwing something.

[Cat Atomic]

33. Did anyone else here read Earth Abides and think, "how relaxing"?

:D

[TXlib]

39. Heh heh.

[BootinUp]

35. *peers out of cave, looks around* :^))

hmmm, my kinda folks

Nice article, thanks

:)

[BootinUp]

40. almost forgot *turns around and heads back* ;)

[GOPisEvil]

42. Oh boy...does that describe me to a tee, or what?

ISFP here. :hi:

[Samurai_Writer]

43. Another INTJ female here

This article really did describe me as well. I am always getting IMs from guys "Are you single?" When I say yes, they are like "Why, you're so <insert complimentary word here>". When I tell them I PREFER to live alone, they don't believe me. Ugh.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

47. TALK. IS. A. TRANSITIVE. VERB!!!!

<dean>YEAAAAARRRRRRGH!!!</dean>

[supernova]

48. Needing some attention?

:hi: