I was diagnosed with 'frostbite of the penis'

[underpants]

:rofl: from this month's Runner's World magazine. One of the funniest things I have ever read...and it is all true! :rofl:
read the whole thing for a great laugh

Runners' Stories
THE PACK RULES: DON'T BE EMBARRASSED
Essential advice from runners & readers.

http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-297--13081-0,00.html

2. Check Your Gear
Rachel Chalmers of Oakford, Illinois, found out the hard way that her tights had become threadbare. "On a run someone yelled at me, 'Hey, we can see your a**!'" Madhur Kotharay of Mumbai was underdressed for freezing temperatures during the New Year's Eve Midnight Run in New York City's Central Park. "At the medical tent, I was diagnosed with 'frostbite of the penis' and made to sit in the official car with the heater on full blast," he says. During a run in Mississippi, August Russell discovered the perils of sweltering heat. "The humidity had made my shorts stick to my skin, and they had completely disappeared into my butt cheeks. I may as well have been running in a thong."

5. Don't Wet Yourself
Buoyed by the thought of beating her half-marathon goal, Wendy Uhlenhake of Anna, Ohio, didn't want to make a pit stop. "By the final stretch, I started to pee with the pace, hoping no one would notice."

7. Keep It Down
Mary Arnstein of Pittsburgh felt queasy after running a leg of the Penn Relays. "Bill Cosby came over to congratulate me, and I returned his kindness by throwing up on him."


9. Tread Carefully <---- This one is my favorite. Imagine this chain of events suddenly happening next to you :rofl:
"I was running on the treadmill when the magazine I had on the front panel fell off," says Lauren Hoff of Thornton, Colorado. "I slipped on it, hit my face on the front panel as I fell, and knocked over a trainer and her client as I flew off." Says Megan M. of Boston who also fell off the 'mill, "I was propelled straight into a mirror behind me, which promptly cracked." Stacie Rose of Greenville, Michigan, landed face first on the belt, breaking her nose. "Runners have arthroscopic surgery, but I got rhinoplasty!"

10. Pay Attention
When Justin Shelman of Kansas City, Missouri, began suffering in the Chicago Marathon (his first), he sought help in a Tylenol tent. "I spotted what I thought was liquid Tylenol and swallowed it," he says. "It was Vaseline."



Red-Faced Runners

17%: Were caught during a pit stop
23%: Ran into a stationary object
13%: Fell off a treadmill
13%: Showed off black toenails
34%: Had dried snot on clothes or face

Based on 2,014 respondents to runnersworld.com poll

[Midlodemocrat]

1. OMG. When I first saw this, I thought you were talking about yourself.

:rofl:

I thought you might have been out running last week when the temps were ten and eleven degrees.


:rofl:

[underpants]

2. Underarmour's "Performance Pouch Technology" and nipple tape-lifesavers

http://www.underarmour.com/shop/us/en/mens/underwear/pid1000667-Men-s-HeatGear-6-Boxerjock-/1000667-080

Breathable vented articulated performance pouch delivers comfort that's simply unprecedented.

[redqueen]

5. "performance pouch"

I dunno exactly why I find that funny, but I do.

[DevonRex]

10. You know, a post about "performance pouch" underwear is very fitting

considering your name. :)

Are you the inventor?

[underpants]

3. shameless kick

:kick:

[sarge43]

4. IBTL

The mods mutter "The Lounge Lizards are awake", slam foreheads on keyboards and draw straws to pick the thread killer.

[3.14158675309]

6. It's no joke. I grew up in Minnesota and played hockey outdoors all day

and had that painful experience on a few occasions. I termed it "frozen carburetor" :scared:

The thing was, when outside, it just got numb and it wasn't really a problem UNTIL you went inside and it started thawing. Yeeeouch.

[supernova]

7. I was unaware of this kind of mishap

until now.

*giggle*

:hug:

[kwassa]

8. I've had nipple burn

the old soccer uniforms we have were made out of some kind of synthetic plastically fiber. On the cold playing days we would be freezing, the nips would be standing up, and rubbed raw against the jerseys.

Odd, and not at all pleasant.

[underpants]

13. Both marathons I have run

I have seen someone bleeding through their shirt

I make jokes about nipple tape but if you forget it you know it quick

It HURTS

[Beer Snob-50]

9. my best friend growing up

passed out in the snow while peeing during a party dnd developed frostbite.

[skygazer]

11. My best friend growing up fell butt-first in the snow while peeing

And yelled, "Oh, crap, I'm going to get assbite of the frost!"

She was always good for a fun malapropism. :rofl:

[MorningGlow]

12. Tell me again how exercise is good for you

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[tigereye]

14. is that when you run in a kilt, UP?

:rofl: Sorry. :evilgrin: