"A collection of DU running gags walks into a bar..."

[HopeHoops]

Finish this joke...

"A pair of boobies, a narwhal, a white penis and a cheese sandwich walk into a bar in Brazil. The bartender says..."


For those who haven't followed all of this:

Boobies was a server glitch that resulted in a runaway post last week (sort of like a runaway zit, but not really).
The narwhal, I don't know - haven't figured that out yet.
White Penis was from a SERIOUS post relating to both gender and race ceilings in business
I, unfortunately, must take personal responsibility for the cheese sandwich, but that was from a serious post about a school district shaming poor kids.
And we all know how much a Brazilian is.


You asked for it geardaddy.

So, the bartender says?


:popcorn:


ON EDIT: ALTERNATE THEME (flagrant omission on my part): They walk into an Olive Garden instead of a bar.

[lightningandsnow]

1. I have no answer, but...

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

2. I couldn't think of one either - geardaddy challenged me to post it.

[ogneopasno]

3. "Smoking or non?"

[HopeHoops]

8. Oh, you just started a copy cat thread potential - "smoking or non-smoking cheese sandwich?"

For the joke, I would say pick whichever you want.

[TZ]

4. You have the setting wrong

For this to really work it has to happen in the libree....:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

6. boobie reference, I know - no, they have to go with the other gags.

[charlie and algernon]

5. ... The bartender says, "sorry, we don't put cornflakes on our chicken here,

You best get over to Olive Garden for that."

[HopeHoops]

9. Oh, I might just have to edit the OP here.

[Kali]

7. no no no

they walk into an Olive Garden...

[HopeHoops]

10. I altered the OP to include Olive Garden, but YOU still have to come up with the joke!

[RandomThoughts]

11. Cheese sandwich

Was also what was in the lunch bag of the Kahazan killed by Wesley on the TV Show Angel.

And we all know what cheesing on south park is, and they jousted for boobies, which is why Narwhals joust!

Brazil would just be the nut to go with the white penis, which is moby dick of coarse. :)

And to answer "a whole 'nother set of questions" (a quote from Harmony), the Kahazan also had Rick Springstein screen saver on phone, which was the video Human Touch, where they wore Battlestar Galactica uniforms, and time traveled because of radiation, but that was before election, so it is actual a mute point as relayed in Space 1999 clip.

/tilt

[DS1]

12. says

Whaddaya think this place is? The Olive Garden?

[geardaddy]

13. That's a winnah!

:thumbsup:

[HopeHoops]

14. This thread is your fault ;}

[geardaddy]

15. I know.

:D

[HopeHoops]

17. So far, only "charlie and algernon" provided a continuation and it is just a DU gag.

Can't ANYONE come up with an ending to this joke?

:shrug:

[3.14158675309]

28. THE ARISTOCRATS!

Works every time.

[crispini]

20. WIN! nt

[rug]

16. "Where's the fucking Asian woodcarver?"

[HopeHoops]

18. He's the FUCKING BARTENDER!

I'm going to get hammered with forgotten running gags now. I just know it.

[RandomThoughts]

19. not hammered

but here is a :beer:

[HopeHoops]

21. If anyone comes up with something else I missed I might need a few pints!

[Swede]

22. He points at a jar that reads "Tipping is not a city in China"

:shrug:

[HopeHoops]

23. Not BAD! No reference to another DU gag - Top score so far!

What else do you do with a collection like that? I haven't come up with one.

[Swede]

24. Not a running gag,but a running topic.

Tipping pops up once a month or so,and it can get heated.

[HopeHoops]

26. 15%, 20%, stiff them? Oh, now there is a topic - or are you talking about cow tipping?

[ogneopasno]

25. "The Lounge is that way." *points*

[HopeHoops]

27. New leader!

[Z_I_Peevey]

29. "Sorry, bar's closed.

It's Laura Branigan Night in the karaoke lounge."

[chknltl]

30. The Brazillian Bartender says: "I ain't servin' none of ya'.....

...If you all are too stupefied to duck, you are all way to drunk for me to serve!

I just googled 'A duck walks into a bar' and discovered this item, it is toooooo precious, (warning, definitely..um... lounge material!) Go to: http://www.duckwalksintoabar.com/ (Try 'Shorts' then select: Sensitive Duck)

[HopeHoops]

49. A brazilian bartenders would be even better!

[Sanity Claws]

31. It was near closing time so the bartender said,

"You're in before the lock."
The Lounge taught me about IBTL.

[HopeHoops]

38. You're in second place right now.

[graywarrior]

32. I'm the jokemaster at our next toastmaster meeting and I'm telling this one

[HopeHoops]

44. You're going to need a FOLLOW-UP to that!

[graywarrior]

46. I'm gonna let it hang

[HopeHoops]

47. That's what SHE said!

I use that line whenever I can ;}

[graywarrior]

51. You could work in The Office

[TK421]

33. "Well you didn't mention cornflake chicken, so what will you be drinking tonight"?

[TK421]

34. Or...."You do know I got 911 on speed-dial"?

[no name no slogan]

35. Bartender says "GET A BRAIN, MORANS"

nt

[AlCzervik]

36. We don't serve the played and soon to be played out.

[sniffa]

54. +1

:thumbsup:

[RandomThoughts]

37. I think this is the best thread

it is about as funny as you can imagine, if you get it.

[HopeHoops]

39. You had to have been there ;}

[RandomThoughts]

40. Well it doubles back a few times.

But not to worry, nor would I want anyone to think I am even near perfect, or think I am righteous or better then anyone else, it is good to have a thread like this to make sure of that. :)

:) There is only one that is always righteous :)



Did you go listen to the Narwhals video, it is so funny!!!!!!

[HopeHoops]

41. Um, that actually is my "missing link" - that's the joke I don't understand. Can you post it?

[RandomThoughts]

42. What part don't you understand?

[HopeHoops]

43. I haven't seen the video you referenced. I know it is a gag, but I don't know why!

And I'm responsible for the fucking CHEESE SANDWICH thing!

[RandomThoughts]

45. Well lots of people have mentioned cheese sandwiches.

They are not anything new or anything. I did see the post on school lunches, and I really think children should get enough to eat, it was a sad thing to think we can't feed children a lunch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykwqXuMPsoc

Because its funny. The video doesn't have an undercurrent to it or anything, its just funny and cute. I mean you could make something about it, but it is not something special.

Actually when I first saw the Narwhals thing I thought it was like an April Fools joke, still not sure if they are real. LOL, ok lots of web pages on them LOL. But its funny.

[HopeHoops]

62. I started the cheese sandwich thing with a post on the school lunch stupidity.

[NYC_SKP]

48. Bartender says,...

"Which one of ya-s fornicated with your aunt last night?"

White penis responds, "me?"

Bartender: "Well get the fuck outta here, this ain't no Olive Garden!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[old mark]

50. "Why the long face?" nt

[HopeHoops]

52. I'm on dial-up (think about it)

[namahage]

53. "AAAAH! C'MON FUCKIN' GUY!!!"

"DON'T TUTCH THE BUT, or Jeb Bush'll be all up in your house with disease!"

[SallyMander]

55. Our drink special tonight kudzu-infused vodka

I hear it's going places!

[elshiva]

56. What about breast-feeding pit bulls?

:shrug:

[HopeHoops]

58. Frankly, if I was a lactating chick, I'd probably breastfead a pitbull - IF IT WAS A PUPPY!

At least once, if it needed it to survive.

[elshiva]

59. Do narwhals lactate?

[SallyMander]

60. Certainly! They are mammals!

:D

:hi:

[elshiva]

64. Thanks. Do you think they would breast feed a pit bull

while they eat corn-flake chicken with Hillary Clinton at Olive Garden?

[SallyMander]

65. They'd only go if Oscar invited them

;)

[elshiva]

66. Who is Oscar?

:shrug:

[SallyMander]

68. !!!!

Only one of the best threads EVAH!!! Took me a while to dig it up. :D

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=624815

[elshiva]

69. OMG! THAT IS FUCKING HILARIOUS.

I want Oscar. :loveya:

[SallyMander]

70. I think A-Schwarzenegger is writing a book

based on that thread, if I'm not mistaken! :D

[elshiva]

71. Uncle Leonard and Oscar are now my favorite DU characters.

I loved how he said he had to put miners' gloves on to pet Oscar.
:rofl:

[SallyMander]

72. The whole thread is hysterical

I was lurking at that point, hadn't signed up yet, but I almost did because of that thread! :rofl:

[elshiva]

73. What do you think Oscar really is?

;)

[SallyMander]

74. Well he's clearly not an amphibian

So I don't think I'm qualified to comment. ;)

[elshiva]

75. He could be a new kind of animal.

Maybe Oscar is an alien. Have you thought about that?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

76. Yes, writing, written, wrote, done & getting published!

Spose to be coming out in June.
Going through the copyedits as we speak.
Well not exactly as we speak.
Thanks for memembering!

[BarenakedLady]

82. Awesome.

Can't wait to read it.

:thumbsup:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

87. Thanks, me too!

:)

[SallyMander]

83. OMG Congrats!!!!!!

That is so exciting! I can't wait to read it! :D

:bounce:

:toast:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

88. Thank you!

:D

[HopeHoops]

61. Probably not - wait, are they mammals?

I guess I should look this up before posting but I just don't feel like it.

On Edit: It might also help to look at the post I'm responding to. :think:

[old mark]

57. " Is that a narwhal or Rush Limbaugh with a stick up his ass?" nt

[HopeHoops]

63. "Buses and Planes and Trains up his..." - apologies to Dr. Demento.

[FloridaJudy]

67. !

:spray: :rofl:

Well done!

[old mark]

78. Just noticed a certain resemblance......nt

[geardaddy]

85. Boom!

Another winnah!

[NMDemDist2]

77. bartender says "We're closing, but you can still catch a drink at the Kudzu Bar

it's the place to go when I'm feeling bullish"

:evilgrin:

edit to add, chit, Sally beat me to it :rofl:

[flying rabbit]

79. Bartender sez:

"What is this, a joke?"

[lost-in-nj]

80. The bartender says

before ya get comfortable I have to let you know our entertainment for tonight has changed


unfourtunatly we are not having our open mic MOVIE REVIEW night

it's a Rick Astley sings Rush karaoke night

oh and all we have on tap is Bud light


feel free to join in though




lost

[chemenger]

81. So, the bartender says ... "Tombstone me right fucking now, Skinner!"

And you know the rest of the story.

[ScreamingMeemie]

84. Best answer in this thread.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

86. Bartender says:

Where's the spoon?

fuck. I crack myself up.

[NuttyFluffers]

89. "you're too late for a comeback...

(a Moran) already ordered milk at this bar."

[Withywindle]

90. Yells CALL CONGRESS RIGHT FUCKING NOW1$!!*$&!!!!!!

Gotta DU this PBS poll! Right now, tamales are winning, ai yi yi!