Midlo loves her kids.

[LeftyMom]

We know this because:

1. She didn't drown them at birth.

2. When BM (which, fwiw, stands for Baby Midlo, not Bowel Movement: see Addendum on Midlet Nomenclature, below) was bugging Midlo approximately every five seconds to either find her Jonas Brothers CD or take her to Walmart (yes, she said Walmart! I think we should ban Midlo immediately) RIGHT NOW to get another one, Midlo did not make any comments about regretting #1.

3. Midlo has not convinced the Midlets that they have an older sibling who she sold to organ traffickers on ebay. BabyMidlo is kinda gullible and would totally believe it with the proper buildup. That she resists the temptation to tell her horrible things is a sign that either Midlo loves them or is not totally evil. Since loungers all know that she is in fact totally evil, I guess that means she loves them. Or that she hadn't thought of it yet. Whoops.

4. Midlo drives a minivan, which, newfangled space radio aside, is deeply uncool. If she hated her kids she'd get a two seater convertible and tell them to take the bus.

5. When BoyMidlo and BabyMidlo broke her brand new laptop, she didn't abort them in the 55th and 63rd trimesters respectively.

6. Though #5 might just be because she's Catholic.

7. She's not making TeenMidlo spend summers at Matcom's house to pay for college.

A guide to Midlet Nomenclature: BabyMidlo (BM) is in fact not a baby. She's 13, and I think she's taller than me. TeenMidlo is legally an adult. BoyMidlo, in a deviation from Midlet naming patterns, is in fact a boy. That is all.

[madinmaryland]

1. ..

K&R!!!

[flvegan]

2. I'd imagine getting driven around in a minivan kinda sucks for a teenage boy.

Fear and loathing in Midlothian.

[Fire Walk With Me]

3. I fear "Serial Mom" syndrome.

http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi293732633/

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. BTW, I'm kidding.

If this unusual amount of kidding bothers you, please accept my apology, at least from myself.

Humans tend to be exactly like chickens- if they smell blood, they'll pick at it until it's dead.