I just went for a five-hour walk around Beijing.

[HEyHEY]

To begin, this was SOOOO awesome. I'm walking down some shopping district and see HUGE sign that reads,

"Legendary luminous balls - exhibit on third floor."

I laughed for like five blocks.

I went to Tiananmen square and holy shit is that thing huge. It's just the square and it is about the size of downtown Milwaukee. And the public toilets play hardcore Chinese military marching music in them, so we all pissed efficiently and in unison. I've never felt such a bond with men at the urinal.

I went to lunch at a random restaurant (The food here is just amazing.)I had to break out my newly purchased Chinese phrase book (Though it may as well be called "Chinese for rice kings" - more on that later) and ordered with pointing. The waitress grabbed it and pointed to "Where I you from?" I showed her my passport. Then she spent about five minutes flipping through it and pointed to, "Do you have a woman in Beijing?" And gave me a smile. I felt like such a stud - a nerdy, pudgy stud. They really force the up-sizing here though, they almost demand you order two items and a beer. Then try to get YOU to take them out to dinner.

The street vending isn't as cool as it was in Seoul. The sidewalks are so wide it kinda is just like walking through a mall. Some old battleaxe tried to aggressively sell me socks though. I think the plan is to bump into me and drop them in my hand then claim I'd bought them.

Some girl in red glasses approached me and said I looked lost, which I was. She pointed me in the right direction then walked with me and tried to get me to come to her art exhibit, which was a two-minute walk away. Seemed dodgy, "Psst, hey, fine artwork down this dark alley, come along!"

My phrase book is okay, but there's a series of questions in the conversation section that goes as follows.

"- Will you spend the night with me?
- I'd like to go to bed with you
- Only if we use a condom
- We have to be careful about aids
- We shouldn't take any risks
- Do you have a condom?
- No? Then the answer's no"

The Subway is pretty cool. They have a woman's head on a TV screen telling you what the next stop is, creepy, but neat at the same time.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear HEyHEY!

Sounds like you're having a great time!

Do most people speak English? I understand learning Chinese is pretty difficult...

Are you posting from your apartment, or where you're living? Or from an internet cafe? Or do they have such cafes?

Stay in touch!

:hi:

[HEyHEY]

4. From a hotel. Gotta get a place soon.

[XemaSab]

2. Sweet!

I know you said you wanted to work abroad, and I hope this works out for you! :pals:

[flying rabbit]

3. Did you get to check out the Forbidden City?

Funny travelogue BTW

[HEyHEY]

5. Not yet, but I'm here for a year.

[flying rabbit]

7. Excellent!

more amusing observations on the way I hope. ( OT - Thanks for the heart anonymousdonatortypepersonwhoeveryoumaybe! ):P

[kentauros]

6. What is that, the Monty Python Swedish-to-English handbook?

:P

Hey, you can post and it isn't getting blocked! :D

Hope you get by okay anywho :hi:

[applegrove]

8. So HeyHey you didn't get blocked. Good news.