OK DU tofu lovers, here is a golden opportunity thanks to Trader Joe's

[JVS]

I have heard that TJ's has reduced their 16 oz tofu package to a mere 15 oz. Bummer, huh? But anyway, the silver lining is that this gives tofu lovers a chance to make a vegan version of the famous Jimmy Dean 12 oz package complaint call. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4RNb3tt0LM

So, let's see what kind of basic script we can toss together for the tofu call, and maybe one of DU's tofu loving community can place the call.

[flvegan]

1. *ahem*

Trader Joe's, I'm a 265 pound weightlifting vegan, and I commonly purchase your 16 oz package of tofu. I like to press it out, slice it up and fry it in some oil and peanut sauce and put it in my dinner salad. I noticed you just went to a 15 oz package, but kept it at the same price. Now, I don't know where the likes of you comes from but my math says that you can't feed a vegan body that needs that protein to build muscle, on 15 ounces of gat-damned tofu. Are you people high? Smokin' the ganja, you hippie freaks? I noticed that if I wanted to buy a pound of your organic buffalo, which I'm sure is very tasty, I'd get a fucking full pound of buffalo. Not 8 ounces, not 20 ounces, but a gat-damned poundon the dot. I wouldn't mind if you raised the price proportionately to keep the 16 oz package of tofu. But for you to drop a 16 oz package to 15 oz under my nose and think I won't notice, makes me think that you think I'm some kind of fucking idiot. Do you think I'm a fucking idiot? If you think I am, I'd be happy to discuss that with you behind your store one afternoon and stomp a mudhole in your ass, peckerneck. I'd appreciate it if you'd return to the 16 oz package of tofu at the earliest convenience. Thank you and have a great day.

[dawgmom]

2. "Peckerneck?" mu-wahahahahahaha nt

[LeftyMom]

3. Excuse me, Sir. There isn't a Trader Joe's store in Florida.

[flvegan]

5. "I know. This crazy chick in California overnights it to me."

[LeftyMom]

6. That was the candy cane joe joes. They are not tofu, they're a cookie with crack in them.

Eating them will not increase your muscle mass, unless a spare tire is a muscle now.

[LeftyMom]

4. Goddamn my internets are buggy.

See, this is what happens when they're no longer protected by the technical expertise of Sen. Stevens (R-Old)