I am making chocolate chip cookies from scratch!!

[Zomby Woof]

Any takers? :D

[XanaDUer]

1. Um...me?

Eom.

[Zomby Woof]

2. why of course!

:hi:

[brokensymmetry]

3. Oh, yeah!

So...do they have nuts? Pecans, or perhaps walnuts? Lots of chips? And are they still warm so the chips are just perfectly melted? :7

[Zomby Woof]

17. TONS of chips

I didn't add anything else, because I am chocolate chip cookie fundie. :P

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. Aye, for the Lord did spake, and saith, "Yea, verily, unto those

who make unholy the chocolate chip cookies by the emcampment of nuts into My Holy Cookies shall be an abomination in my eyes and be stricken from the Book of Life, for I created you, but I know ye not, for thou hast first forsaken me. For in your forsaken of me, nothing shall happen, for more powerful than you am I; so powerful in fact that, to those who do abominable things to chocolate chip cookies, OOooooooh, I'll giveth thee such a pinch."

[Zomby Woof]

38. LOL

I think you're the dingbat here, verily I sayeth. :-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. I am NOT a dingbat!

And if you want PERFECT, Rabrrrrrr-style chocolate chip cookies, you'll eschew the brown sugar, leave out some of that vulgar processed sugar, and use instead a mix of honey and crushed grahamn crackers, in a ratio that is a secret, since it's my ratio, but I'm sure you can figure it out easily. Makes those babies MOIST, and they'll stay moist for WEEKS.

[Zomby Woof]

45. I use turbanado sugar

Unbleached. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm................

[Rabrrrrrr]

47. Good call!

But still, I recommend you try the honey/graham cracker meme.

it's great!

People LOVE my cookies!

[DS1]

4. what are you scratching?

[The Lone Liberal]

5. You should really use flour

The Academy of Science released a study last week in which they stated that “scratch” was bad for your arteries.

[greatauntoftriplets]

42. The DEVIL you say!!!

:evilgrin:

[southerngirlwriter]

6. ooh! oooh!!

:hi: ZombyWoof!!

I can't eat any because I'm low-carbing. x( But I hope you enjoy them! Have fun, ZombyChefWoof!! :hi:

[Zomby Woof]

18. they're virtual!

EAT ALL YOU WANT! :D

[southerngirlwriter]

23. the best kind!!!

:loveya: Yummy. ZombyWoof's cookies!! :loveya:

Thanks, ZombyWoof!! :hi:

[NicoleM]

7. Cookie tips.

Use butter-flavor Crisco instead of butter--it's gross, but it makes the cookies soooo good. Also, if you put a piece of bread in the container with the cookies, they stay soft.

Not that you asked. :)

[meow mix]

11. i like a couple tablespoons of cream cheese..

not too much though, or they come out kinda wierd.

[Zomby Woof]

34. interesting!

DU is the best for getting the recipes out there. :-)

[Zomby Woof]

19. thanks!

Those are good tips, but the batter is done and the first batch is in the oven. I will keep those ideas in mind! :hi:

[matcom]

8. eeewwww scratching in the cookies?

:puke:

i've seen your body hair - no thanks

[Zomby Woof]

20. I am shaping them to look like smiling ass cracks!

Just for you. :P

[nini]

9. I hate Atkins!!!

:cry:


I want some cookies!!

[Zomby Woof]

21. Virtual cookies are carb free!

:D

[GOPisEvil]

10. *drool*

Care packages can be mailed to...

[Zomby Woof]

22. you're drooling all over matcom's ass

crack.

[SheilaT]

12. I make the world's best chocolate chip cookies

and I'm not the least bit modest about it.

Indeed, I baked some this morning to take to Joan Ruff's campaign HQ (she's running for U.S. Senate in Kansas and I'm volunteering for her three days a week) and the arrived still warm.

Here's my recipe:

Cream together:
1 cup Crisco (NOT butter-flavored. It's gross and leaves an artificial taste)
1 cup white sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar, packed

Add 2 medium eggs and 2 teaspoons REAL vanilla. Not artificial.

Then stir in:
2 1/4 cups unbleached white flour (I don't sift, but scoop it up lightly. Do NOT pack or shake down the cup of flour)
1/2 teaspoon each baking powder and baking soda

Finally add one 12 oz package of real semi-sweet chocolate chips. Bakers used to make the best ones and they disappeared from the supermarket shelves a couple of years ago, so I usually use Hershey's.

Drop by teaspoon amounts onto lightly greased baking sheets and bake at 350 degrees for 10-15 minutes. Check them after 10 minutes and use your own judgment as to how much longer they need to bake.

I have the rack at the top (broil) position of my electric oven, and they come out a combination of crispy and chewy that's to die for. They're best right out of the oven, but even several days later are infinitely better than store bought.

This is a recipe from a 1930s cookbook, and I accidentally discovered that medium eggs are the best size.

[Zomby Woof]

26. mmmmmmmmm

Those sound like those will help her win. :-)

I agree about using real vanilla. Plus, I live at a very high altitude, so I turn the oven up higher and add more flour. It takes practice to get that balance right.

[asjr]

13. I'm too old to bake from scratch now

I just use the Nestles cookies in the dairy case. I couldn't make them any better. And they all come out the same size.

[Zomby Woof]

28. those will do!

But my girlfriend had a recipe she wanted to try, and I love to cook and bake, so I was up for it. You can experiment in ways a tube won't let you... but I do love using those in a pinch. :-)

[SheilaT]

62. It takes less than an hour from start to finish

to make a batch of these, and they are so vastly better than the refrigerator dough that if you can't somehow find the hour to make these, don't even bother.

Same with baking cakes from scratch. I have two recipes, the one from the back of the Hershey's cocoa box, and the other one called Texas Fudge cake. The latter takes only 45 minutes from when I walk in the kitchen until I have a cake I can serve to people in about another half hour. The first takes a little longer. But they are so fabulous that people who normally don't eat cake will consume several servings of these.

Several years ago my sister and I had a nice party for our mom's 80th birthday, and she asked me to bake a couple of cakes. I made two of the Hershey's cocoa variety -- one with vanilla frosting, the other with chocolate. On the day of the party, my sister was stunned to notice that everyone who took a piece of cake ate the entire thing. She was used to using box mixes, and even young children would typically take two or three bites and then abandon the rest.

The stuff from boxes has a subtle chemical flavor that is nasty, and once you start making the real thing, you just can't go back to the other.

Oh, and I always make a sheet cake because I simply could not master making even layers.

[Zomby Woof]

63. thanks so much Sheila!

I got your message, and will take that to heart. :-)

[xultar]

14. Here! I'll take a 1/2 Dozen! n/t

[Zomby Woof]

29. no problem Grovelbot!

:-)

[RoadRunner]

15. I asked for "scratch" at the grocery store.

They said they didn't think they carried it. Where do you get yours?

[Zomby Woof]

30. from matcom's ass!

:o

[RoadRunner]

64. We don't have that store here.

Only Wal-Mart, Save-Mart, Fast-Mart, Cheap-Mart, and Slave-Mart. What's a person to do?

:nopity:

[wryter2000]

16. Sure

I'll IM you my fax number.

[Zomby Woof]

31. lol!

They will be very flat... is that okay? :-)

[wryter2000]

48. Flat's fine

I wonder if chocolate chip cookies will go with the Johnny Walker Padraig is pouring me.

[Richardo]

24. The consensus is: Not if you're dressed like this:

[GOPisEvil]

27. Or NOT dressed, as the case may be...

[Zomby Woof]

32. will it help if I wear an apron over my nekkidness?

:D

[Richardo]

35. I certainly wouldn't HURT...

:7

[pansypoo53219]

25. sorry

my coconut sugar cookies and melting moments with coffee frosting top Chocolate chip anyday.
then there's the butterscotch cookies.

[Zomby Woof]

33. then you better share!

:P

[ScreamingMeemie]

37. I would love to...except my throat is still sore...

:(

[Zomby Woof]

39. these have magical healing powers!

You need to get acquainted with the healing magic of ZombyChip Cookies. :loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

40. Then send them on over.

I'd me much obliged. Can I mush them up and drink them through a straw??

Thanks,

:loveya:

[Zomby Woof]

41. only with squirrel poop!

:think:

[ScreamingMeemie]

44. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

You're gross!

;)

[Padraig18]

46. 2 dozen, and a quart of whole milk please!

*drool* :)

[LWolf]

49. Me.

While they're still warm, please!

[Zomby Woof]

52. warm as a matcom bottom!

:o :hi:

[LWolf]

59. yummm

I think. ;-)

:hi:

[Catshrink]

50. Yeah, baby....

Send 'em on down to the Vally of the Dumb. mmmmmm cookie. Catshrink want cookie.

[Zomby Woof]

53. Valley of the Dumb?

LOL! *sending down* (Though the average IQ is MUCH higher with your presence!) :hi:

[absyntheNsugar]

51. But of course!

want some brownies? <weg>

[Snow]

54. Okay , stand back!

Vera Dana's Crybaby Cookies

Full recipe (about 60 cookies)					Half Recipe (approved
								by  Mrs. Dana)

Mix wet ingredients in a bowl:                                
               

1 cup sugar							1/2 cup sugar
1 cup shortening						1/2 cup shortening
2 eggs, well beaten						1 egg
1 cup light molasses						1/2 cup light molasses
2 tsp vinegar							1 tsp vinegar
1 tsp lemon extract						1/2 tsp lemon extract

Mix dry ingredients in another bowl:

5 cups flour							3 cups flour
2 tsps baking soda						1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon							1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ginger							1/2 tsp ginger
1 1/2 tsp cloves						1 tsp cloves

Mix wet ingredients into dry ingredients and add:
3/4 cup hot coffee						1/2 cup hot coffee

Make into drop cookies onto greased cookie sheets (form into
balls about 1/2 to 1 inch in diameter, place on cookie sheet,
flatten with finger)

Cook at about 325-350, around 10 - 15 minutes

These taste best with an icing, confectioers' sugar and
shortening works well.

Variations:  Doubling the amount of spice works very well, as
does dark molasses, honey, or maple syrup substituted for the
light molasses.

Historic Notes: Vera Dana (and her husband Ted) lived on the
Old Mission Peninsula in Michigan, about 3 miles south of the
lighthouse on the tip, and right on the main road (US 31),
where they owned fruit orchards and Mrs. Dana ran a bakery out
of her kitchen during the mid 50's into the early 70's. She
had several large ovens, and sold bread, pies, and cookies to
the locals and summer folks alike. Her peach pies and cherry
pies (fruits from their orchard) were legendary, as were her
sugar cookies, and her Crybaby cookies. Oh yes, they had an
octagonal stone barn, hand-built of course.

[Zomby Woof]

56. I just gained 10 pounds

Reading your recipes. :D

[Snow]

57. But they're really, really good........

c'mon, give em a try.

[Zomby Woof]

60. like I am going to resist the temptation!

:P

[Snow]

61. Hehe - let me know how they turn out.....

[BigMcLargehuge]

55. as long as there's no nuts in em' I'll take 20 gross

and a tanker truck of cold milk

[Zomby Woof]

58. I am the only nut behind the cookie

I am a chocolate chip cookie fundie, and don't believe in mucking them up with nuts and such. :-)

The milk truck is backing up now... *beep beep beep*