(rant) I want my children to know that marriage

[GoddessOfGuinness]

is between two people who love each other. I want my children to know that they will be loved and accepted whether they're straight or gay. When I stand in support of same-sex marriages, it's because I'm thinking of my children, my children's children, and even fundy offspring.

There was an article in this morning's Washington Post about domestic partnership bills in the state of Maryland, which included the following quote:

"I want my children to know marriage is between one man and one woman," said Laura Clark, 32, who said she was speaking for 20 families who worship at Open Door Bible Church in Baltimore County. "This is the first step toward forcing same-sex marriage on Maryland."

Why the hell can't these people recognize that they are the ones forcing their intolerant ideals on the state? Nobody ever said it was illegal for one man and one woman to get married...Why do they feel so threatened?

There are religious sects that believe drinking alcohol, working on Sunday, and even dancing are sins. They don't seem to have a problem with the fact that these things are legal.

Are they afraid their spouses will suddenly find them unappealing if same-sex marriages are allowed?

Thanks for letting me vent...:grr:

[Maat]

1. Actually, Goddes....that's what gets me fired up too.

I have a 7-year-old daughter (just what every 45-yr-old needs to keep young). I came of age in the 70s and I never thought I would have to face such bigotry in my middle-age. It doesn't get my hubby fired up as much, even though we are both pro-civil-rights (most definitely pro-same-sex-rights), but it does me.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

2. I'm 45 too...

I have a 16 year old and a 5 year old. When my oldest was in kindergarten, he hugged his best friend on the playground, and was taunted by other kids, saying, "Ewww...You're gay!" The teacher did nothing about this; and at the time, my son didn't know what "gay" was.

But the incident made me realize that if any of my children discovered they were GLBT, they were going to have tremendously difficult lives. GLBT issues are every parent's issues. We can't wait until our kids have discovered their sexuality to try to make the world a fairer place.

[StlMo]

3. I have great hope for future generations.

America will overcome these bigots.
Modern history is a successful campaign against various manifestations of intolerance.
As we have before, we will make America better by extended rights to our persecuted brethren.
We will cure the hatred that infects our society.

-StlMo

[silverlib]

4. Letter to President Bush from Bette Midler

I couldn't verify on snopes, as i usually do. this may be too recent to be up yet, but was posted on DU yesterday without a link. I think it sums up a good mother's feelings very well.

**********
Dear President Bush,

Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal stone a legal definition of marriage. I would like to know why.

In your speech, you stated that this Amendment would serve to protect marriage in America, which I must confess confuses me. Like you, I believe in the importance of marriage and I feel that we as a society take the institution far too lightly. In my circle of family, friends and acquaintances, the vast majority have married and divorced - some more than once. Still, I believe in marriage. I believe that there is something fundamental about finding another person on this planet with whom you want to build a life and family, and make a positive contribution to society. I believe that we need more positive role models for successful marriage in this country - something to counteract the images we get bombarded with in popular culture. When we are assaulted with images of celebrities of varying genres, be it actors, sports figures, socialites, or even politicians who shrug marriage on and off like the latest fashion, it is vitally important to the face of our nation, for our children and our future, that we have a balance of commitment and fidelity with which to stave off the negativity. I search for these examples to show my own daughter, so that she can see that marriage is more than a disposable whim, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same concerns and difficulties in raising your own daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you must understand how thrilled I have been over the past few weeks to come home and turn on the news with my family. To finally have concrete examples of true commitment, honest love, and steadfast fidelity was such a relief and a joy. Instead of speaking in the hypothetical, I was finally able to point to these men and women, standing together for hours in the pouring rain, and tell my child that this is what its all about. Forget Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom. Forget about all the people that we know who have taken so frivolously the pure and simple beauty of love and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon - 51 years together!

I mean, honestly Mr. President - how many couples do you know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you agree that this love story provides a wonderful opportunity to teach our children about the true meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of San Francisco City Hall, rose petals and champagne, suits and veils, horns honking and elation in the streets; a celebration of love the likes of which this society has never seen.

This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness, my relief transformed into outrage, and my peace became anger. This morning, I watched you stand before this nation and belittle these women, the thousands who stood with them, and the countless millions who wish to follow them. How could you do that, Mr. President? How could you take something so beautiful - a clear and defining example of the true nature of commitment - and declare it to be anything less? What is it that validates your marriage which somehow doesn't apply to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what power, what authority are you so divinely imbued that you can stand before me and this nation and hold their love to a higher standard?

Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr. President. Don't tell me that the difference lies in the bedroom. I would never presume to ask you or your wife how it is you choose to physically express your love for one another, and I defy you to stand before Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and ask them to do the same. It is none of my business, as it is none of yours, and it has nothing to do with the "sanctity of marriage". I'm sure you would agree that marriage is far more than sexual _expression, and its high time we all started focusing on all the other aspects of a relationship which hold it together over the course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the mechanics of sex set aside, I ask you again - what makes a marriage? I firmly believe that whatever definition you derive, there are thousands upon thousands of shining examples for you to embrace.

You want to protect marriage. I admire and support that, Mr. President. Together, as a nation, let us find and celebrate examples of what a marriage should be. Together, let us take couples who embody the principles of commitment, fidelity, sacrifice and love, and hold them up before our children as role models for their own futures. Together, let us reinforce the concept that love is about far more than sex, despite what popular culture would like them to believe.

Please, for the sake of our children, for the sake of our society, for the sake of our future, do not take us down this road. Under the guise of protection, do not support divisiveness. Under the guise of unity, do not endorse discrimination. Under the guise of sanctity, do not devalue commitment. Under the guise of democracy, do not encourage this amendment.



Bette Midler

[GoddessOfGuinness]

5. It's a beautifully written letter

whether Bette actually wrote it or not.

Thanks for posting it here. It's worth emailing around! :yourock:

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. How ironic that gay-haters would go to the "Open Door" church

Apparently, not very open, in the sense of hospitality and Christian love, AND in the sense of "open".

[GoddessOfGuinness]

9. Good point...

I guess they know about as much about openness as they do about Jesus.

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. hee hee - every now and again, I make a good point

And not just on the top of my head, either.

:-0

[joeybee12]

7. As for upholding marriage, people used to uphold same-race marriages,

and before that, slaves couldn't marry.

So when these assholes talk about tradition, the tradition of marriage has always been one of intolerance and bigotry, and we still have a long way to towards eradicating that.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

10. The tradition they cling to the most

is their tradition of fear.

Change is so frightening to the fundies. I'm sure that's the primary reason they reject theories of evolution. Accepting them would mean they'd have to accept a constant state of change...

[joeybee12]

12. Absolutely!

It might cause them to have to think for themselves! And we can't have that!

[Xithras]

8. Just to make a point

There are religious sects that believe drinking alcohol, working on Sunday, and even dancing are sins. They don't seem to have a problem with the fact that these things are legal.

There are still dry counties in the US where alcohol is illegal. There are still towns in the U.S. that have ordinances against public dancing. There are still towns right here in California that are effectively "closed" on Sunday.

And yes, they DO have a problem if you try to change those. Heck, I was just told LAST WEEK by a fundie that women shouldn't be allowed to wear skirts because they're "too provocative". These people exist, so we have little choice but to deal with them.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

14. That is true...

and those towns which prohibit those things are becoming fewer in number. It does explain why they feel threatened in one sense; but on the other hand, there aren't any laws which insist that one must drink alcohol or dance. These laws place too much emphasis on controlling others and no emphasis on controlling one's self.

I'm surprised a fundy would insist that women shouldn't wear skirts; but I wouldn't be surprised if s/he modified it by condemning short skirts. Long skirts were initially intended to hide a woman's body.

[populistmom]

13. I feel the same way you do

It's actually how I was raised as well. I used to have a babysitter when I was kid that was a lesbian couple with children (one used to be married) and it was simply a nonissue in my family. I didn't understand until later that there actually were homophobic people. This was in the 70's. I can't believe it's 2004 and people are still so closeminded and uptight about who someone else loves. It boggles the mind!!!