Just Post the Punchline...

[rucky]

"He had a hat."

"You tell me, lady"

"I meant to say 'pass the potatoes'"

"So he turned him into a tampon"

[no name no slogan]

1. Play it? I'm going to make love to it as soon as I figure out hove to get its pajamas off.

nt

[mcctatas]

5. octopus and bagpipes?

[no name no slogan]

22. Yes! I should've known

a Celtic lass such as yourself would guess that one. :)

[Bucky]

2. "The bad news, Mr President, it that it was in the First Lady's handwriting"

"Pass it? I don't even think I could swallow it!"

[NightWatcher]

3. "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14..."

[Steven_S]

4. Damn right I wrecked him - even blew his balls off!

[mitchum]

6. So could I...mine is as big as a house

[XemaSab]

7. By the grace of God and these two fingers I got 'em back in.

"Get the fuck off the car!"

"My ass is still sore."

[motely36]

8. There are more geese on that side!

How many are in a brazillion?

[taterguy]

9. What's this "we" shit white man?

[tekisui]

10. "I left my nuts in Nam"

[rucky]

11. ...it turns into a handbag.

[kimmerspixelated]

12. That's what the monkey said

when his tail got cut off by the lawnmower!

[Iggo]

13. "No. We were just good friends."

[Iggo]

14. "Hello, big lady."

:rofl:

[Iggo]

15. "Gladys."

:rofl:

[Iggo]

16. "Pffft" because that's how they talk.

:rofl:

[NMDemDist2]

17. "'cuz they're only held together with one screw"

O8)

[blondeatlast]

18. "They paint their toenails red."

[DarkTirade]

19. "... and that's why I never kiss 'em on the mouth."

[trof]

20. And the butler stuck his dick in the mashed potatoes.

The late (VERY late) humorist H. Allen Smith claimed that this was the punchline to "the funniest joke in the world...ever."
Trouble was, he didn't know the first part of the joke.
He could never find anyone who did.

He also claimed that all 'dirty' jokes originated in Valdosta, GA.
:shrug:

[WinkyDink]

21. "The doctor didn't ask about YOU."

[rucky]

23. Sheep lie.

[trof]

26. I had a friend who raised sheep.

He quoted that.
B-a-a-a-a-a
;-)

[sarge43]

24. Then he started to sing along with the radio"I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wiener." n/t

And there are no dental records.

Then the Mother Superior said, "Oh thank God. I thought you said Protestant."

[Pierre.Suave]

25. That's what SHE said...

:rofl:

[Amerigo Vespucci]

27. "Why do you keep asking for beef & broccoli?"

:eyes:

[NYC_SKP]

28. Welcome to Jamaica, Have a Nice Day.

Or, Wendy.

[SalmonChantedEvening]

29. "For the last 10 minutes, you've been eating grass."

:hide:

[mac56]

30. "Two candy bars and a Pepsi. Why?"

"And you know, it works! I haven't gotten a cold all winter."

"If you do, I won't go get the money..."

"Hey! Where the hell's my cookie?!"

[WolverineDG]

31. So he shot her. nt

[tekisui]

32. It means 'wrong hole'!

[rug]

33. She popped her eye back in the socket.

[Fleshdancer]

34. ..."because blond men are stupid too"

:D

[Zavulon]

35. "Then let's take these damn rubbers off."

[Zavulon]

36. "You're scared? I've got to walk out of here alone."

[tekisui]

37. Picture this: I'm in a refrigerator, naked.

[av8rdave]

38. Ever since he passed that cue ball, he's been sizing EVERYTHING up

[Doc_Technical]

39. The first woman said, "Yeah, but this one is eating my popcorn."

Then the first boy said, "One thing is for sure,
I don't want any more of those fucking potatoes!"

And the guy said, "Great! Do you think you are strong
enough to hold down a sheep dog for five minutes?"

Then the woman said, "I do at first, then toward
the end I go all to pieces!"

Don't pay her.

Then the salesman said, "Doesn't that calf
have a mother?"

[bluesbassman]

40. Twenty bucks, same as in town.

:)

[peacefreak]

41. What? And give up show business?

It's a nick-knack, Patty Mack. Give the frog a loan.

[fNord]

42. and the ghost said "at least i took that damn lawyer with me".....

"...Some kind of palsy. Any way that's how I saved Christmas"---Family Guy

"But then I learned i could kiss my own penis and That got me a job"--- Ron Jeremy

[sarge43]

46. That got me a job ...

"If I could do that, I'd never leave the house," George Carlin.

[fNord]

43. "42"

"sorry for the inconvenience"

[Aristus]

44. "So the conductor shook the concert master's hand and said: 'You're right! There IS

nothing more Wagnerian than a diminished minor third!' "

Figure that one out... B-)

[Inchworm]

45. Death by "bonga bonga" Yeeehaw!

:hi:

[Sabriel]

47. The charge was transporting young gulls across staid lions for immoral porpoises. n/t

[sarge43]

48. You left your harp in Sam Clam's disco. n/t

[guitar man]

49. "I showed him"

"Checking for bees!"

"Lady, could you hold my cock and pullet while I scratch my ass"

:rofl:

[peekaloo]

50. mashed potatoes can't make their own gravy

years ago my very drunk male boss told this one at a company party :eyes:

[Dr. Strange]

51. He never knew what hit him.

[Auggie]

52. "The Aristocrats"

[old mark]

53. " A good start". "Who the hell did you think it was?"

"Who is this?"
"I'm a frayed knot."
"I was talkin' to the parrot."



mark

[Bake]

54. "That dog would BITE YOOOOOOUUUUU!"

Bake

[NightWatcher]

55. ah, the Lewis Grizzard classic