JVS walks into a bar...

[LeftyFingerPop]

The bartender, whose back was turned, and had a bad head cold, and was 100 feet away, turns to the waitress and says...

"You wearing onion perfume or something"?

[Dr. Strange]

1. JVS immediately jumps behind the bar and grabs the bartender by the the collar.

"What was that?" he asks the bartender.
"You have an oniony smell about you."
JVS throws the bartender on the floor, grabs his hunting knife from the hidden sheath under his puffy pirate shirt, and cuts off the bartender's left hand.
"Would you care to expand on that?" JVS asks.
In between screams of pain, the bartender says, "You have this distinct odor of onions about you."
JVS, his rage continuing to boil, cuts off the bartender's other hand. "What was that again?" he asks.
The bartender rolls about on the floor, howling and bleeding. Somehow he manages to say, "It's just this onion smell. It's unpleasant. You should drink some vodka to remove the smell."
JVS pauses, thinking. "Oh? Vodka removes the onion smell? Well, give me a couple of shots then!"
He lets the bartender up and goes back over the bar.
The bartender walks over to the liquor stand and reaches out. "Hey, how am I supposed to get you a drink without any hands?" He turns around to face JVS, but then slips on the puddle of blood behind the bar.
The whole bar erupts in laughter at the slapstick episode.

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. That's fucking disturbing....

:scared:

[JVS]

3. Wow. It's like you know me IRL!

[TZ]

4. Nice post....Stephen King...

:scared:

[krispos42]

5. Lemme give you my mom's number

She's a social worker, she can help.



























:-)