Why do people fuck with other people's minds?

[BeachBaby]

Honestly - I need to know what purpose it serves. :mad:

[Ava]

1. because it's fun?

:hide:


i keed, i keed :hug:

[BeachBaby]

22. Believe me, hon....

if he finds fun in this, he needs serious help. Or my fist in his face.

:hug:

[LaraMN]

2. Because they have pathetic lives and lust for the drama it provides.

x(

[BeachBaby]

15. Drama????

Since when do guys want drama? God, I hate that shit.

I need to buy a punching bag. I really do.

[Dr. Strange]

3. Because eating candy, while fun, makes us gain weight.

:hi:

[BeachBaby]

4. I'm ready to fucking kill somebody, babe.

Enough is enough.

[Dr. Strange]

10. That's cool.

I told flvegan not to touch the last Three Musketeers bar. I told him it was yours. But then he says, "Hey! Do you see her here eating it? No? Then it's mine."

[BeachBaby]

14. I told him he could have my candy bar - his metabolism is better than mine.

What happened to me today is off the charts WRONG. Jesus fucking Christ.

[madinmaryland]

5. You've been doing it to me since Dec. 28, 2008.

:grr:

[BeachBaby]

9. Um, no. I've been TEASING you since 12/28/08.

I'm talking about the good, old-fashioned mindfuck - where someone tells you a certain set of things, to have you believe in them. Then you find out later that they had ulterior motives.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

6. To feel better about themselves

In a perverse, twisted way that's hard for healthy people to comprehend, some people have these huge holes inside themselves, and they can only feel good if they can make someone else feel bad.

There are, I think, a whole fuck of a lot of people like that out there.

Beware.

[BeachBaby]

11. Well this one went way above and beyond.

He promised me something in order to get into my good graces - and I found out today that the whole line was a big, fucking crock of shit.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

13. Funny you should mention that.......

In the last 24 hours, I've learned things about someone who has tried very hard to get into my good graces (he failed), and he's one big lie after another.

You're not alone, kid.

[BeachBaby]

23. Yeah, that's what happened.

But it's happened with more than one person in the last few weeks - and these are people I trusted.

This abolutely fucking blows.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

25. You bet it blows....

Maybe your creeps are traveling in a pack?

In any event, take what you learn from them and be wary next time. Trust that funny feeling you get in your gut - it's your bullshit detector, and it is NEVER wrong.

That's why my rule is, and has been for a long time, "One strike and you're out."

You'll be all right. I hope you didn't lose any money, and trust you can invest in someone who deserves it.

This is how we get smart and wise.

[BeachBaby]

28. I think the battery on my BS detector must have died.

Because I didn't think twice about what he promised - it made sense, he *appeared* to be sincere, and I thought he was going to make good with his promise.

"Smart and wise". I used to think I was, but I didn't think I had to critique everybody I know in order to protect myself.

Jesus Christ - aren't there any good men out there? And if there are, where the hell are they?

[TZ]

30. there are a few of them somewhere...

mostly on the other side of the planet it seems.....

[BeachBaby]

58. Please don't tell me that my soulmate is in Afghanistan!

:P

[Tangerine LaBamba]

32. There are......

But sometimes we want to believe so badly, we suspend our good judgment.

Let the man want you more than you want him. Hold back a bit and let him show you what he is. You've got time.

Oh, honey, I feel bad for you, but, really, it'll be all right.

Be good to yourself. Eat some ice cream or something like that.

And, a dancing chicken always makes you smile, right?

[BeachBaby]

33. I should have clarified that a bit better.

I'm not looking for a man. I just want to know why the men who drift into my life, always end up being the mindfuckers that they are.

They can't ALL be like this, right?

That's what I fear most.

Thanks, hon. :hug:

[TZ]

37. For some reason

There is something about strong attractive smart women that makes men act like creeps around them...Its not you, its them...My mother struggled with this for years...she used to call herself a "creep magnet". Guys with low self esteem find themselves attracted to these women and in their minds the only way they can get the attention they crave from them is to be deceptive. Whether its fooling themselves or outright deceiving the woman they want to be with....:hug:

[Tangerine LaBamba]

40. Here's something to think about.........

What kind of signals are you putting out that are attracting these losers?

Yeah, consider your own behavior. It's a hard task, and sometimes not very pretty, but if you examine your part in these mishaps, you might find your answer.

For what it's worth, every woman I know - and I myself - have asked those exact same questions.

[TZ]

46. to be fair..I think its because JGD is very nice AND

is very good at making people feel better about themselves..Thats pretty attractive esp. to people who have low self esteem

[Tangerine LaBamba]

48. And that could be how she ends up

dismayed and upset.

It's a whole lot better to stay busy making yourself feel good. Let others take care of themselves, and, right there, you've ferreted out the dangerous ones.

[BeachBaby]

57. ....

:hug:

[BeachBaby]

49. Oh, Jesus. I can actually answer this.

I've had a counselor evaluate me, and asked two of my closest friends what I'm doing wrong.

My counselor said that I'm "disarming and friendly".

My best guy friend said "To know you is to love you."

My best girlfriend said "You're my go-to girl - I don't know what I'd do without you. I imagine everybody who knows you, feels the same way."

Put all three together, and I guess I'm fucked - which really sucks, because I don't really care for the idea of anything less than friendly. That's not who I am.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

53. I know - you just want to be yourself......

But there is "being friendly," and there is being friendly that becomes enabling behavior.

That's why a filter is so important.

I was everybody's go-to girl, and I was great at it. Being a lawyer, I was even more helpful and useful, and it was my pleasure.

Then, my personal life hit a horrible snag, and I needed time away from everyone and everything just to recover, to lick my wounds, to heal. It was a devastating, crushing time for me.

I contacted everyone and let them know I'd be off the airwaves for a while. (This was before the Internets, so they all got letters.) I told them that all I needed from them at that point in my life was for them to do nothing, and I'd return when I could.

Guess what I got?

Lots of angry phone calls from people who fancied themselves my "friends," people who were intimately familiar with what had happened to me.

Their chorus was "What about ME?" "What am I supposed to do without you?" And, my all-time favorite, "How am I gonna get through a day without my Tangerine fix?"

Not one of those people is in my life today.

[BeachBaby]

59. LOL!!!!

I'm a paralegal - maybe it's an occupational issue. :P

[Schema Thing]

54. being friendly is all good.

the point is to be unfriendly to abusive people who won't ever meet the minimum standards for the word "friend".


Which doesn't have anything to do with how nice you are. It has everything to do with who you accept. These people didn't choose you because you were nice, they chose you because you didn't reject them.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

66. Boy!!!

Is that ever beautifully put!

Succinct and dead right on.

Well done, and thank you!

:toast:

[Dr. Strange]

55. I can believe that.

And you're right--you shouldn't change and be anything less than friendly. That's who you are.

[BeachBaby]

56. You rock, babe.

:hug:

[Dr. Strange]

64. You're just saying that 'cause you're friendly.

:hug:

[crimsonblue]

34. Most people, male and female, are good at heart..

the problem is that people never learn how to communicate with one another. It is difficult to allow yourself to be vulnerable. I consider myself a good person, but I've certainly lied to women before. I didn't do it to be a jackass or get in their pants, but rather because it just slipped out, or I didn't want to hurt them or I wanted to make them feel better. Sometimes we try too hard to make others think positively of us. It is difficult to be yourself, because we all want to feel like we belong. We want somebody we like to like us back, and sometimes people do stupid things in order to impress someone else or cover up for perceived self doubts and shortcomings. Most people, when asked, "why did you lie?" will say, "I dunno." This isn't a cop out. People generally don't know why they lied or why they continued a lie for so long. A lie is a very entrancing thing. It reals you in and makes you feel special. Lies then snowball and so more lying is necessary. I do not believe that people lie to hurt other people.

Hope this helps. :)

[BeachBaby]

35. Trust me, babe.

The history I have with this person goes WAAAAAYYYYY back - and he didn't like the fact that I told him a couple years ago that I'm tired of him fucking with me. Such a long story, but the end result of that was the township sarge giving him a "warning shot" phone call.

He appeared out of nowhere, a couple months ago....apologizing profusely, telling me how much he loved me and that at LEAST couldn't I just be his friend. I meant that much to him, he said. Couldn't bear the thought of me being out of his life forever.

There is also money involved. Money I was counting on.

This whole thing was a fucking set-up. I've been had. And now I'm pissed beyond belief, because I actually believed in his sincerity.

[crimsonblue]

38. You couldn't be an ex of mine, by chance?

:P I kid..... but seriously....

[Schema Thing]

26. Before I got together with my ex

she was dating a man who told her he thought he had met her father in Michigan, that their (his and hers) father's were old friends. This would have been a huge coincidence, and monumental for my ex, as she has never met her father, and does not know how to find him. (the guy assumed, I believe, that the coincidence was smaller, because he and my ex were both raised in a small sect/religion were people all across the country usually have at least some common friends in other cities, and this guy assumed the father would have been too... but he wasn't).

The guy was w/o question lying.

Still, as mental fuckups go, we all get to play:

She should have figured this out w/o me pointing it out to her.

Which I did only after playing the rescue-er.

And now that I'm no longer with her, her ? lack of self esteem? over-the-top-need-of-friends? .... something... allows her to keep that douche as a friend on myspace and occasionally interact with him. Amazing to me.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

50. Really?

That's amazing to me, too.

Some strange kind of need being taken care of there.

You're better off without that kind of pathology, I suspect.

[Schema Thing]

61. I know I am.

oddly, I still find myself drawn to rescuing her. The weird thing is, I'm not normally the "rescuer" type; so there is something more going on there. Best if I don't explore it too deeply though, heh.

[Deep13]

36. He wanted something from you.

That seems the mostly likely explanation. Otherwise, I would paraphrase the line from Dark Night and say some men just want to watch the world burn.

[BeachBaby]

39. God - the backstory to this guy is so screwed up.

We were highschool sweethearts. My dad broke us up in 1985.

He came looking for me in 2003 - he's married, I was married. Told me he missed me, blah blah blah. Resumed some sort of a friendship.

He got a little too possessive and I told him it was too much for me. He didn't stop - I had to get the cops into it.

Now, he shows up again - promising me he's got the money he owes me (quite a bit of money, mind you). He doesn't have the money.

So I don't know what the fuck he wants.

[Deep13]

43. Seems like he is fixated on you.

Has some idea in his head that you two were somehow meant for each other and will say anything to make it happen. You'ld think the first run-in with the cops would have wised him up, but some guys just don't learn.

[BeachBaby]

52. Jeez - he actually said that.

"Your father fucked up both our lives because he's a fucking control freak."

Doesn't matter that I disagree with him, that's what he thinks.

Even better - HE IS MARRIED.

[Schema Thing]

7. Because they have personality disorders

that cause them to lack empathy.

[BeachBaby]

16. Personality disorders?

Is manipulation a personality disorder?

God - I gotta take some more psych courses.

[flvegan]

8. Because people are idiots.

[BeachBaby]

17. *I* am the idiot here, because I actually believed him.

[flvegan]

20. DuhStrange comes off as an honest dude. You WANT to trust him.

That's how he gets your Lucky Charms.

[BeachBaby]

24. I trust him - he's given me a reason to.

This other guy, I'm ready to do some real damage to - and I hate that I even am thinking that way, because that's not me.

[flvegan]

41. Uh...I'm sorry? I didn't mean it? Um, it was like that when I got there?

[BeachBaby]

45. If you knew the full story, you'd want to kill him, too.

[AlCzervik]

12. because many times people just suck.

and they'll say anything to get what they want.

[BeachBaby]

19. I just wish I knew exactly what it was that he wanted.

Or maybe I don't want to know. I just want to know why people can't be fucking honest. WTF.

[CreekDog]

18. i don't know

:hug:

[BeachBaby]

29. If you ever find out....

you know who to inform first. :hug:

[dawgmom]

21. Workplace, or personal life?

In the workplace, while I abhor it, I understand why people do it. Sometimes it's a test, to see if you repeat it to others (and thus, can you keep a confidence.) Othertimes, it's a power ploy, as a way to undermine you and boost their own position. And sometimes, it's just because there are jerkwads who think that "gamesmanship" is part of the workplace. I fuggin' HATE those guys.

On the personal life front -- because they're assholes, or sociopaths, or control freaks.

[BeachBaby]

31. Personal life.

I'm a fucking mess.

[crimsonblue]

27. Ewww... people that skull fuck other people are just wrong...

it's messy. I mean, you have to drill a hole in the back of the skull, or pull out the eyeball. Trust me, it's not worth it. :yoiks:

[guitar man]

42. short answer

because they can

because people let them

:hug:

[BeachBaby]

60. Well, that's fucked up.

But I can't say I disagree with any of that.

Thanks. :hug:

[Iggo]

44. Entertainment, mostly. (n/t)

[malta blue]

47. ...

:hug::hug::hug:

I am so sorry he treated you that way!

You deserve so much more.

[BeachBaby]

62. Thanks, chickie.

All I want from ANYBODY is honesty - I think I deserve back, what I give out. That's all. :hug:

[mcctatas]

51. Because they have no souls?

either that or because they were weaned too early :hug:

[BeachBaby]

63. Your guess is as good as mine.

I just want to know what happened to "honesty is the best policy". Seems non-existent these days. :(

[Orsino]

65. Because bodies and property are fairly well protected by law.

We struggle for dominance all the time.

[Dangerously Amused]

67. Most of the people I've known who do it don't "realize" that's what they're doing.

They find a way to rationalize it internally, and externally too if they're called on it. Some of it, I think, springs from mental illness, whether known or undiagnosed.

[BeachBaby]

68. Mental illness. You're the 2nd person to say that.

So I am a magnet for mentally ill people. I don't know what to think about that. :scared:

[TZ]

69. Well, you are my friend....

so you should have known that fact..:crazy:

[BeachBaby]

71. Stop that.

:spank:

I think you know what she's talking about - mentally DERANGED men. Awesome!

[Orrex]

70. These aren't the droids you're looking for

[Jamastiene]

72. Cuz they get tired of

masturbating their own minds and want a little change? :shrug: :P

[Fire Walk With Me]

73. Inferiority complexes. Happy people don't fuck other people over.

See: George Bush.

:shrug:

[SPKrazy]

74. Feeling of no other way to "get back" at someone

would be my best guess.

Someone has been hurt and feels like they can't get retribution without fucking with someone's mind.

I've known people that just liked to fuck with people's minds for fun. They were the one's that really scared me.

I've had people fuck with my mind and I guess sometimes people may or may not realize they are doing it. I'm beginning to believe that they usually do realize it and they think they will benefit from it somehow, some reaction or benefit will be derived from it.

If they get nothing or the wrong reaction is provoked, then they've fucked up.

I can think of two people in my life right now who have fucked up. They thought they could fuck with me, and I fight back.

One I can do nothing about and will just move on and as far away from her/them.

The other I will see in court.

:hug:

[Pacifist Patriot]

75. Some days there is nothing better than screwing with a five year old's head.

[DarkTirade]

76. In small silly instances it can be fun

otherwise I've got no clue.