To Fur or Not to Fur -- that is the question.

[dawgmom]

So...we're going to an inaugural ball. I'm not particularly looking forward to it, as it is a business/professional obligation on dawgdad's part, and I will mostly be playing the nod-and-smile wifey poo part. Also, I never wear stupid shoes any more, and it will be the first time in those for a long time, so I'm anticipating pain by the end of the evening (even though they're short heels, they are pointy-toed.) But here's my question: It's going to be colder than Ann Coulter's left tit here on Tuesday night, and the only formal wrap I have that will go with my dress is very flimsy. A dear friend has offered to lend me her gorgeous full length fur coat for the evening, and I am tempted. What say you -- avoid pneumonia, or stick to my "no fur" principles?

Rationalizations: Hey, I wear leather, so it's not as though I'm that committed to the cause. Also, I didn't buy it, so technically the critters weren't killed for me.

Counter: It sends the wrong message. It implies that fur is OK. Don't do it.

[TZ]

1. I say no fur.

My mother inherited several mink coats and they stay firmly in our closet. Somebody must have a nice wool coat or something else you can wear.

[dawgmom]

5. Well, ~I~ have a nice wool coat...but wasn't sure it would be OK

I sort of hate that short-coat-over-a-long-formal-dress look.
I may have to break down and go buy a very nice wool or velvet ruana-type thing.

[TZ]

9. you don't have a nice long wool coat?

I have one of those. They are fine for formal occasion. IIRC they aren't that expensive either.

[dawgmom]

19. Only one that comes mid-calf

I'm tall. Very tall. There is no such thing as a long coat that reaches my ankles, hon -- at least not off the rack. And seeing as I already spent a fortune on the damn dress, I'm not looking to spend a lot more.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. I say no fur

Wool.

[AlCzervik]

3. no fur.

[MajorChode]

21. How about pussy fur?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/14/shave-your-cat-make-a-swe_n_157929.html

[crimsonblue]

62. creepy.

omg, that's disturbing.

[Fire Walk With Me]

4. So wear the Samoyed on your shoulders.

:shrug:

[dawgmom]

8. That's the best suggestion thus far

Although Sammies definitely don't fit the hypo-allergenic dog theme of the new White House.....

[Fire Walk With Me]

14. Then do the Lucy and Ethel potato sack fashion thing.

And watch everyone else scramble to join in. ;)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. OMG!! They were so chic. One of my favorite episodes.

The feed bucket hat was a nice touch ;) :D

[Taverner]

11. Knowing most Sammies, her dog would probably love that

[dawgmom]

13. They WOULD

They're people dogs.....:)

[MorningGlow]

6. No fur

Aside from the obvious reasons, you might never see it again. I read a great article about inaugural balls and how if you check a coat in the cloak room, depending on how crowded the ball is, you might never get it back, or you might end up with someone else's. In the past there have been coat check brawls!

[dawgmom]

12. Yikes! That would be awful

That would be awful, if I lost it. It was her mother's, and is dear to her for that reason. Thanks for posting that.

I've been to balls before, and the coat check was pretty orderly -- but as you said, a little crazy too.

[Runcible Spoon]

59. not only that...imagine if there were PETA people around and that coat got red painted

I would never borrow anything like that. First, because I scowl and want to spit on people in fur, and I've been known to testily ask if it's faux (they ALWAYS say it is, who knows) but mostly because I wouldn't like to be responsible for something that expensive.

[taterguy]

7. You're asking us flimsy vs fur?

My money's on flimsy

[dawgmom]

20. So, bring on the pneumonia, eh?

Spoken like a true guy. ;)

[taterguy]

23. Pnueumonia's just a myth

You can run around naked in the snow and not catch anything

[dawgmom]

27. Well, I'd hope that if I ran around naked in the snow....

....something (or rather somebody) would catch ME. Such an effort should be rewarded in some way.....

[Taverner]

10. Well - if you don't want to wear fur yet still stay warm

I suggest layers.

I was able to survive an ENTIRE MONTH in a Chicago winter because I wore three jackets at once.

[dawgmom]

15. Ummmm.....

While I appreciate your input, I'm thinking you're not getting the whole "formal wear" thing. Three jackets just wouldn't cut it, look-wise. ;)

[Taverner]

16. Oh Formal - missed that bit

Well - Not sure what to say

[Arugula Latte]

17. Stick to your principles -- no fur.

Your friend is probably not interested, but for people who have fur coats and stoles and even fur collars and don't want to wear them but don't want to donate them for other people to wear -- you can donate them to the Humane Society. They will give them to wild animals who are being rehabilitated and feel comforted by being on/near fur. The program is called "Coats for Cubs."

http://www.hsus.org/furfree/campaigns/c4c/

The Humane Society of the United States
2100 L St., NW
Washington, D.C. 20037
Attn: Coats for Cubs

I sent in a fur wrap that my M.I.L. had given my daughter for dress-up -- it felt great!

[dawgmom]

25. That's a nice source

Thanks.
But you're right -- my friend would never give up her coat, although she doesn't wear it very often. It was her mother's, and has sentimental value. What can I say, it was a different time, a different age.

[Gormy Cuss]

18. Wear what you want.

Fur makes a statement about you and your values. If you feel comfortable making that statement then go ahead and wear your friend's coat. Do set aside money to pay off claims should the coat be damaged or stolen however.

[flvegan]

29. This is the correct answer.

I know, I'm a little shocked at myself too.

[dawgmom]

33. I'm a little shocked, too....:)

But here was my response.
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=8415462&mesg_id=8415554

[flvegan]

36. Now that I've seen your answer, I'd like to add one tidbit

that I felt out of place to add. Your fur *may* also make a strong statement about Mr. dawgmom, and this is a get together with business associates and colleagues, yes?. A reflection that may or may not be beneficial. Lots of taboos about fur these days.

[dawgmom]

39. That's a good point too....

....although I have seen a lot of this crowd in fur. It's still a good point, though.

This has been a good process. I'm shopping a for a nice wool cashmere cape tonight.

[dawgmom]

31. Hmmm.

A very reasonable answer. And I suppose if I really search my soul, I already know the answer. I'm uncomfortable with wearing fur, and the fact that I even felt compelled to post this question here shows that discomfort. So.....no fur. Thanks.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

24. Spend the money for a nice cape -- of course, I have been wanting

a nice cape anyway. This would be my perfect excuse to spend the money.

[dawgmom]

26. Yes, I'm leaning towards that

My problem is that I'm endlessly practical about clothing. It killed me to shell out all that money for a dress (I was told by family that I could NOT wear something I'd worn before), and so if I buy a wrap, I want to be able to use it again, or at least more often than the dress will be used. I'm leaning towards a very nice black wool cape or ruana-type thing.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

32. You will find other occasions to wear it --I know I would. I don't understand

why you can't wear a dress that you have worn before. If it is suited for the occasion, fits well and stylish, why not? :shrug:

I would have rather have spent the money on the cape and worn a dress already hanging in my closet.

[dawgmom]

35. I gave up trying to argue with them

The main rationale was that what I was planning on wearing has been seen by a lot of the potential attendees before, at other events. AND, the inaugural is an occasion when one should always wear new, as it is symbolic of the new administration, in with the new out with old, etc.

Honestly, I can afford it -- I just don't enjoy spending money on clothes, all that much. My priorities are definitely elsewhere.

[AlCzervik]

34. i don't agree with the you can't wear something you've worn before.

[Kali]

28. what kind of fur?

There are a lot of antiques out there and I don't have a problem with people wearing them (hell I don't have an objection to some others either) still, if you personally have an objection, you probably shouldn't.

The potential loss/damage issue needs to be addressed with your friend too.

[dawgmom]

30. It's mink

Embarassing, yes.
Her family (or at least her parents) were loaded.

[RandomThoughts]

37. It really is up to you.

Any extra 'look good' factor, might be countered by people within the celebrating group that really don't like fur. You might miss out on some conversations. But it is up to you.

That being said, I have a few jokes :) Just jokes, nothing personal, just thought they were funny.


"Hey wear the fur coat, I am bringing my Seal Club and knocking mallet. We would look great together!":)

or

"Wear the fur, they got lots of red paint left from last inauguration they don't need, should make for a fun evening":)


Either way, have a blast at the party, have fun, it will be a good day.

:):):):):):):):):):):):)

Just being pretentious, really have a good time :)

[dawgmom]

40. Thanks -- I've decided no fur

I realized that just the fact that I posted this shows that I'm uncomforable with the idea of wearing fur. So, i'm going to follow my gut, and go shopping for nice wool cashmere cape tonight.

[RandomThoughts]

52. That makes alot of sense

If you thinking about it now, you will be thinking even more there, and it might take away from your fun, even if only you were thinking about it.

Hey, if you see others in fur, maybe you can be extra nice to them, so they don't have a bad time :) Just a thought. :)

Either way, have a great time :)

[Bertha Venation]

38. I just realized I am completely neutral.

I weep for animals, yet I eat them and wear their skin. I wouldn't wear furs simply because they're not my style. I wonder if we react so violently against fur because they are cute critters. I dunno.

[dawgmom]

41. A lot of it for me is that they're killed only for their coats

And the type that are trapped die horrible deaths.

At least with leather, I can rationalize it that the animal is being used for more than just its hide.

You have a point, though, about cuteness and animals. The cuter they are, the more repulsed we are with killing them. My BFF says "animals with faces" are the ones she cares about. That's why it's easy for her to squash a bug.

[Kali]

42. you are a smart lady

I wouldn't wear as not my style either but have no problem fondling my Grandmother's leopard or ocelot or whatever probably endangered cat(s?) it was. There is something so organic and warm about real fur, I can sure understand people's desire to wear it. And hey we kind of had to wear it for a long time, being naked apes and all.

[Fire Walk With Me]

47. We identify with other mammals.

Kittens are furry, as are many species of dog. These days, thankfully, that's too close.

You don't see people picketing the makers of alligator boots...anything that gives people a good feeling, they embrace. Anthing that gives a bad feeling, they reject. :shrug:

I'm told that it's best to pray for, and to thank, any higher animal we "use" in our lives, to the detriment of said animal.

[ogneopasno]

43. I would totally wear it. I'd love to wear a real fur coat.

[dawgmom]

53. It does feel fabulous...

...I must admit. Even the lining is incredible -- satin-y silk.

But...I've decided against it. I'm going to go shopping tonight for a wool cashmere cape, which I can use again for other things, and not just formal events.

[ogneopasno]

56. Enjoy the shopping!

[DarkTirade]

44. Nothing wrong with fur, right?

:P

I keed, I keed. Seriously though, I'd keep looking to see if you can find any other wrap or something to go with it, and keep the fur as a last resort.

[dawgmom]

51. Ohhhh.....creeeepy.

;)
I've decided to shop for a nice wool cashmere cape tonight. I think that just the fact that I posed the question here shows I'm not comfortable with wearing the fur. So....I'll help out the economy a little, and spend a few bucks more.

[DarkTirade]

55. Cool.

:)

[Bake]

45. Let me get this straight ...

You're a woman. You're going to a formal event. You have the perfect rationale for buying something new, flashy, and perhaps even expensive, and your husband can't say crap about it. And you're a woman.

And you're asking us what you should do?

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Bake

[dawgmom]

49. Way to generalize about women

Not all women are shopaholic bimbos who live for fashion. I detested "Sex and the City" for exactly that reason. I don't care all that much about clothes. I'm very practical about them, and would rather spend my money elsewhere.

And another thing -- my husband can't say crap about ANYTHING I buy. I earn my own money, thanks -- and I don't need his permission to buy a new dress. Criminy -- shades of Lucy sneaking a new dress past Ricky......

[Bake]

57. OK. Wear the damn fur then.

But watch out for PETA types with paint cans.

Bake

[Deep13]

46. Message? It's a loaner. You aren't supporting the industry.

There's not point being a martyr and being cold. Just borrow it and give it back. It's Washington, not an Earth Day rally in VT.

[dawgmom]

54. I won't be cold

I definitely won't be cold. It will be my last resort to wear the fur, I've decided. I'm going shopping tonight for a nice wool cashmere cape. I decided that just the fact that I posted this here means I'm uncomfortable with wearing the fur.

[Deep13]

58. Oh, that will be fine then (and less gaudy too.)

:hi:

[XemaSab]

48. No fur

You may as well bring your black houseboy to carry your stuff for you. It would be just as modern. x(

[dawgmom]

50. Hmmm....my houseboy doesn't have a ticket....

...so I don't think they'll let him in.

;)

[GoneOffShore]

60. Go with the fur.

The critters are dead. It's too late.

[dawgmom]

73. Decided I still don't like the impression it gives of supporting wearing fur

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[GoneOffShore]

77. See if you have a friend who might lend you a Northern Orlon coat

You can wear that in good conscience, stay warm and look stunningly stylish.

Friend of mine in Ottawa has one and loves it. Looks like fur but was raised in a vat. And it's tough to be cruel to polyesters.

or you could buy one here:

http://www.qvc.com/qic/qvcapp.aspx/view.2/app.detail/params.aol_refer.false.tpl.detail.msn_refer.false.item.A0575.ref.GBA?cm_ven=GOOGLEBASE&cm_cat=Fashion&cm_pla=Outerwear&cm_ite=A0575

[dawgmom]

78. I've actually seen those advertised on QVC

That Dennis Basso guy is a hoot. You've got to hear his voice to believe it.

Too late to get from QVC, unfortunately. That price is great, though. I'm hoping I can find a nice wool cashmere cape tonight for around $200 or less. Everybody keeps telling me that the stores have prices knocked down to nothing on clothing. Let's see if they're right. Nordstrom, here I come.

[crimsonblue]

61. It's already dead... protesting against fur is a bit dumb, IMO.

We're at the top of the food chain, therefore we get to enjoy the benefits of said position. As long as the killing of animals is done humanely and quickly, there is no problem in my book with fur. Plus, it looks pretty and it is very warm.

[LeftyMom]

63. It's a corpse. So no.

I'm shocked at the responses upthread.

[dawgmom]

68. Thanks - my decision here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[bicentennial_baby]

74. I know, right?

I draw the line at fur. Nobody will go to NYC with me in the winter, b/c I verbally assault all of the women wearing fur coats. :D

[Shell Beau]

64. Usually fur coats are made from animals we don't eat.

Leather is dofferent to me because we use the cow for many other things. Minks, etc. are killed strictly for fur. And I am guessing it takes a lot to make a coat.

My grandmother wanted me to have her mink coat that my grandfather bought her years aog. I took it because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I gave it away. I just can't do fur. I do eat meat and wear leather, I just feel like fur garments take it a step too far. At least for me.

[dawgmom]

69. Thanks -- decision here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[Shell Beau]

75. Good deal!!

[BarenakedLady]

65. I wouldn't

But then again, I don't wear leather either. I would feel horribly uncomfortable wearing fur. I know how I react to women wearing it. I admit to that prejudice.

[dawgmom]

70. decision here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[philosophie_en_rose]

66. I wouldn't.

There must be another coat that you can wear.

[dawgmom]

71. Decision here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[RebelOne]

67. Absolutely no fur. Do you know anyone else to borrow a coat from?

[dawgmom]

72. decision here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8415462#8415587

[surrealAmerican]

76. You will definitely regret lowering ...

... your ethical standards more than you will regret lowering your fashion standards. Do what you know is right, even if you won't look as stunning as you might have.