Which historical figure would make the best modern celebrity?.....

[Screaming Lord Byron]

....and what would they be famous for?

Yes, this is very Euro-centric. Blame my teachers.
Although, I'd love to see Sun-Tzu calling football games.

Oh, and yes, Dolo Amber, this really was the best I could do.

[Kamika]

1. that french guy

who wrote a bunch of plays.

[TXlib]

2. Moliere?

[Kamika]

8. yes! thanks

He wrote a lot of good and funny plays, and I'm sure he'd have a lot to say about todays society

[Az]

7. Sarte?

[NuckinFutz]

3. I have a few you didn't mention

Mozart
Catherine the Great (who needs Madonna?)
Shakespeare
Beethoven
Edgar Allen Poe

[Fenris]

4. Lucretia Borgia and her clan of malcontents, psychotics and scoundrels

They would be the best punk band ever.:)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

10. Yeah! Like Chumbawamba, except good.

OK, not like Chumbawamba at all, then.

[Az]

5. So many obvious alternates

Benjamin Franklin
Lord Byron
Mozart
Oscar Wilde
Shakespeare
Mark Twain
Mark Twain
Samuel Clemens
Thomas Paine (he and Wilde would score extra points just on name value)

Too many others to mention.

PS Mark Twain

[SOteric]

22. Mark Twain ~and~ Samuel Clemens! - Our cup runneth over.

;-)

[Az]

28. During a game of Trivial Pursuit

I was playing against my brother and best friend (they were tag teamed against me, only way they would agree to play) and the question for the win was who wrote Tom Sawyer. For whatever reason I completely blanked on Mark Twain. But Samuel Clemens was readily available in my mind. So I said Samuel Clemens. They rejoiced for about 20 minutes that I had gotten a literature question wrong.

[SOteric]

38. Hee! During a similar game of Trivial Pursuit

I drew the question "What was Queen Victoria's original language?" I replied that it was German and my brothers snorted up their sleeves with glee, - until they turned the card over.

[muriel_volestrangler]

46. A dubious fact, though

Although Victoria's mother, the Duchess of Kent, surrounded herself with German attendants and spoke English badly, the duchess insisted that Victoria's first language be English. And to avoid the German-accented English spoken by most of the royal family at that time, Victoria evidently was taught only to read, not speak, German. In 1840, when Victoria received a copy of Agnes Strickland's biography, written to commemorate her wedding, that referred to her childhood speech as "lisping in the teutonic accents of (her mother's) dear Fatherland," the queen wrote in the margin: "Not true. Never spoke German until '39. Not allowed."

http://www.royalist.info/execute/biog?person=623

[SOteric]

48. You might like to tell the Encyclopaedia Britannica, they disagree.

Clearly indicating that her first language was German, and that she was at pains to learn English on the orders of her mother.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

49. Oohhh! Fight! Fight!

[SOteric]

50. No, not a fight. Put away your Jell-o wrestling kit.

It's a simple refutation of statements sans personal attacks or snotty quips. If you're spoiling for a fight, I recommend GD Extra Crispy.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

51. Oh, you're no fun anymore.

[SOteric]

26. Louis XIV the Sun King, Elizabeth I of Britain, Sir Walter Raliegh,

Catherine de Medici, Mary Queen of Scots, China' Emperor Zheng, Attila the Hun, Roman General Marius, Richard Coeur de Leon....oh good lord, I could go on all day.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

27. I'd go for Drake over Raleigh.

Drake is a much more mysterious figure.
Mary Queen of Scots would fit right in today, being essentially Jennifer Lopez (or, less charitably - Courtney Love)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

6. Nostradamus would run a great advice column.

Dear Nostie. My girlfriend no longer loves me, and I suspect her of having feelings for a female friend. What should I do.
Heartbroken in Wichita.

Dear HIW.
Beware the King of Terror in the Autumn Mist. Songs of violent death permeate the third section. The grey bluebird will dip her beak in the blood of countless thousands. Your girlfriend is a Lesbian. Deal with it.

[Fenris]

17. Dear Nostro

My son has a problem with bullies at school. We've tried to talk with the administration, but they refuse to get involved. Help! What can we do to save our son?
Bullied in Buffalo

Dear Bullied
The metal birds of August sit in the house of Saturn. The cool sword of fiery conceit betray the omnibus of the master. Tell that pansy to suck it up and fight his own damn battles.
Nostro

[TheMightyFavog]

9. George Washington.

Talk about a real player.

[myrna minx]

11. Oscar Wilde or Voltaire.

I'd love hanging out with those fellas.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

12. Cleopatra, porn star! (nt)

[terrya]

13. Without a doubt, Oscar Wilde.

He would be a huge celebrity today.

Terry

[Screaming Lord Byron]

14. We could make him our God.

Sorry, Rick, but I'm fickle that way.

[Az]

16. Wilde works better as a critic

Sort of like Twain. They are on their best when they are cutting down the establishment.

[terrya]

19. I'm never going to hear the end of it, am I SLB?

The Rick Astley thing, that is.

:-)

Terry

[Fenris]

20. Not until you accept him as your Savior

[terrya]

37. "The Cult of Rick"

Yep...that could work.

Maybe I can just turn it into a religion and get that good old tax exempt status.

Terry

[Fenris]

AHEM! It's the First Reformed Church of Astley

And we accept donations.:) Pope Daniel O'Donnell blesses you!

[terrya]

40. I come up with this idea for a religion...and someone beats me to it!! :-)

Oh, ok. I'll set up a monthly tithe, instead.

:-)

Terry

[Fenris]

41. Fair enough! Repent!

;)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

21. There's still a vague outline where the horse used to be!

I keep flogging!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

15. Aleister Crowley.

[KAMouflage]

18. Ben Franklin

While watching a documentary on Henry Kissinger last week, I couldn't help but think, "If THIS dofus can be describes as a 'celebrity,' what kind of splash would ole Ben make tody.

[bif]

23. Absolutely Ben!

He probably have his own tv show.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

24. Win Ben Franklin's Money.

Look, I'm on it!

[Whitacre D_WI]

39. Agreed on Franklin.

Ever read his "Autobiography?" HE MADE HALF THE SHIT UP! He reinvented himself more times than Prince and Bowie combined, AND he was an orgy-loving drunkard. What more do you want from a celebrity?

Hell, France already HAD Franklin as celebrity (c.f. Serge Gainsbourg)

[On the Road]

25. Hey, Look at the List of Celebrities Today

It's always "Some random guy" -- or someone indistinguishable from a random guy.

[Mobius]

29. Don Quixote (sp)?

:shrug:

[muriel_volestrangler]

30. Lord Byron, of course

Screaming or otherwise. There's a good case for saying he was the first celebrity - sudden fame, groupies throwing themselves at him, infamous scandals, an illegitimate child ...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

32. Yes. And it all went disastrously wrong the day I fell into a time-tunnel

at Missolonghi and ended up in 21st century Alberta.

[dolo amber]

31. Definitely the Borgias

They'd give the Bushies a run for their money. Plus poison rings are cool. :D

(You did fine, I had to ask you guys to do it cos I'm all tapped out myself. ;))

[Rowdyboy]

33. I think Cher WAS Cleopatra in a former life...

[Screaming Lord Byron]

34. Whaddayamean 'former' life?

[Az]

35. Damn immortal vampires

Clogging our heads with songs we can't get out.

[noonwitch]

36. Shakespeare

He'd find it interesting that we are still reading and performing his plays, and that many of his turns of phrases are part of everyday speech.

[Snow]

42. Oh, man, Oliver Cromwell as the Pat Buchanan replacement....

the horror, the horror!

[Snow]

43. Oooh, another - Machiavelli for DNC chair....

to hell with that wimp McAuliffe!

[Az]

47. I counter Machiavelli with Sun Tzu

Eesh. After reading the Prince you really need a counter balance. The Art of War. A true guide to conflict.

[bhunt70]

44. Voltaire.

[RichardRay]

45. Miyamoto Musashi

if we could get him involved in the US political process. Things would be decided very quickly. Of course, that's only if the Tokugawa's weren't allowed into the game.

[slack]

53. I read the book of the five rings

interesting book.

[slack]

52. Niccolo Machiavelli, Lucretia Borgia or Marquis de Sade (nt)