Write The Worst Country Lyric Competition.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

I want to see some tragic lyrics about ludicrous events, people.

Here's my first.

"I got tears in my beers from the fears of those years of trouble
I've had from your shoe repair store business
Like that pair of dress shoes I brought in for heel reinforcement
You have left stains upon my soul"

Come on, I want worse!

[liberalitch]

1. here ya go!

I got a huge pick-up
the huge payments I fear
I'll save money on gas, that's pretty clear.
Cuz I sleep with my cousin, he lives pretty near.
we're both so happy that the weekend's here...
but I just spent my last $10 on birth control and beer

[Screaming Lord Byron]

2. Perfect!

[Whitacre D_WI]

3. I hear people saying we don't need this war

I say there's some things worth fighting for
What about our freedom and this piece of ground?
We didn't get to keep 'em by backing down
They say we don't realize the mess we're getting in
Before you start preaching
Let me ask you this my friend

Have you forgotten how it felt that day
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away?
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

They took all the footage off my T.V.
Said it's too disturbing for you and me
It'll just breed anger that's what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it every day
Some say this country's just out looking for a fight
After 9/11 man I'd have to say that's right

Have you forgotten how it felt that day
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away?
Have you forgotten when those towers fell?
We had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell
And you say we shouldn't worry 'bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
And you can bet they remember
Just what they're fighting for

Have you forgotten all the people killed?
Some went down like heroes in that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten about our Pentagon?
All the loved ones that we lost
And those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry about Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

Have you forgotten?
Have you forgotten?

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. Have you forgotten when those towers fell?

We had neighbors still inside
Going through a living hell.

Man, that is poetry. Not even I, the great Lord Byron could match such prose. And I knows my poet stuff.

[Torgo4]

7. To Make Matters Worse!

this song mutters about "Bin Laden," but seemed to support the Iraq war, at least by the timing of it's release!

Worley seemed to be forgetting that Iraqis fight for their land too...& it ain't ours!

Sappy, simplistic and downright puke inducing. Once Tobey Keith sung about "Put a boot in their ass..." and Worley cranked out this pseudo-sentimental, claptrap, I retreated to Jethro Tull for a solid year!

Only Shania Twain's performance w/Allison Krause (& Union Station) of "Forever and For Always" brought me back to country! The video didn't hurt either!!

[bif]

8. Er...

"Have You Forgotten"
Darryl Worley/Wynn Varble, 2003 EMI Blackwood Music Inc./Hatley Creek Music/Warner-Tamerlane,
Publishing Corp. (BMI)

[Whitacre D_WI]

9. Um.

Yes.

[Screaming Lord Byron]

10. Damn, I wanted that to go to court.

[bif]

11. I'm contacting my lawyer as we speak.

Kidding, of course. I wasn't implying that you were taking credit for the song. But I just read an article in Mother Jones about Al Fankin's trip on the USO tour in Iraq and he had the lyric to this song in his diary. I'm not a fan of country so if I hadn't seen it yesterday, I'd have never know that a song this bad even existed.

BTW the article is hilarious. Worth checking out. It may be on their website.

[Robb]

5. "Well I'm flyin' in from Phoenix..."

"...And I'm runnin' outta kleenex,
And she's leavin' me in Phoenix,
And I don't know where she'll be next...." :)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

6. Genius! Rob, Genius!

Well ya left me in Regina
I could think of nothing finer
than to wear a mask at noon
In Saskatoon
But I met ya back in Moose Jaw
Although I'd tried to lose yaw
I knew you'd look like that
In Medicine Hat

The cops in Portage La Prairie
had said don't touch the dairy
So I'm sitting with the Menorah
In old Kenora.

[Rex]

12. Ha! You want bad...noproblemo

"My hound dog left me fer my cousin,
He could count real well up to a dozen,
Woe is me my beer done gone and went flat,
Im so poor they repo'd my last cowboy hat,"

"Woe is me, woe is me
I used to be a happey bee
Woe is me, woe is me
Someone done shakin my tree"

TADA!

[Screaming Lord Byron]

13. Yes. That is bad. Congratulations!