Hallmark Scientists Identify 3 New Human Emotions

[Bucky]

you probably already knew this was from The Onion...

Hallmark Scientists Identify 3 New Human Emotions

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The first emotion the project successfully isolated was "requiapathy," the combination of relief and guilt that comes with the sudden realization that you no longer miss a dead loved one. That discovery quickly led to the uncovering of "seprudity," the feeling of appreciating a coworker's dedication without fully understanding his or her job function, and "trepatiousness," a synthesis of rage and jealousy, though more muted and often accompanied by a sensation of weightlessness.

"{Trepatiousness} appears to be a very rare emotion, almost exclusively experienced while in a dream state," said principal investigator Dr. Susan McMurrough, a leader in the field of keepsake science best known for her work on the revolutionary "Blank Inside" line of cards. "The only way to activate it during waking hours, in fact, is with a combination of reds, oranges, and drowsy beagles in top hats."

[Xipe Totec]

1. Add to this Ñañaras

A queasy feeling of fearful dread, accompanied by butterfly stomach and spasms of the sphincter.