Dating website protocol question....

[Bennyboy]

I ahve been a member of plentyoffish a dating website for some time. I got a response to my ad on the 10th of Dec. (First one). I responded on the 20th due to the fact my ISP was in flux and I did not see it till the 19th.

I have not received a response so far.

This lady seems like a dream for me too. Into all the same things I am. Liberal, Deadhead, jamband fan, goes to the same festivals etc.....

Question: How long do I wait to re-respond? Do I? If she doesn't respond to my original response do I just let it go?

[Orrex]

1. Follow up with a nude picture

Not of yourself, necessarily.



If she doesn't respond to your original response, just let it go.

[Chan790]

2. This is a topic of some contention...

I'd say that it's reasonable and legit to send one nudge/poke sort of very-short message. Some would disagree with me about that. My thought is that at this point, it never hurts. She probably isn't/wasn't going to respond, but you gave it a shot.

Something like: "You seem like an interesting person. I'd hoped to hear from you." Whatever you do, don't apologize or state a reason why you waited so long to respond the first time. If she doesn't respond...you've got your answer.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. If it were me, I would want to know the reason why he waited so long.

:shrug:

Why not apologize and state the reason?

[Chan790]

5. Might be an maturity-related thing...

I had a coworker (aged 24) who is very much a web-dater so was telling us that she'd been emailing with some guy who disappeared for a week...he was really nice and compatible but she wasn't going to respond anymore because she found his explanation to be a (not justification nor excuse...I can't find the right word. Those imply a lie, she had no doubt he was being honest. Rationalization maybe? She felt that he shouldn't feel he has to explain himself.) and his apology made him seem weak, overeager to please and concerned about her opinion despite not knowing her.

Now, I'd have just ignored it because I think she's a bit of a flake, except that all of my other coworkers (median age 21) agreed with her so I just assumed it was one of the those male/female POV things I never seem to understand.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. hmmmm....

depends on what one wants out of a "dating" relationship. Sounds like she is not looking to settle down and just wants to play around. I would not get into a lot of detail but, I would think an over view of the past week would be indicated.

If it was the other way around, what would you want to hear from a Female?

[Chan790]

7. That's a good question...

I was in that situation with a woman I emailed with for about 4 months. She'd initiated the conversation and was a school teacher.

Normally, I wouldn't email with someone so long before meeting them but in this case first I was unavailable, then she was busy ending the school year and pursuing coursework towards her M.S. during the summer. I didn't think anything of her explanations for multiple hiatuses but retrospectively I wonder if that was the writing on the wall...I ended up breaking off communication permanently after she stood me up thrice in 2 weeks for a first date. She emailed me again after I told her I wasn't interested anymore but I didn't respond...I felt that that point she no longer deserved a response.

After all that, to answer your question, I don't know. I guess honesty (or a reason) would be less important to me than enthusiasm. Given a choice between a.) "I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, my internet broke." and b.) "I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, I would love to go dancing sometime." I'd choose "b".

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. I think I want "all three" :-)

"I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner, my internet broke. I would love to go dancing sometime."

[Bennyboy]

10. That was my reply....

I apologized or not responding right away (I would have) and then went into a "I'd love to meet sometime" and "we seem compatible"....

So now what? I am pretty sure we are both going to be at the same event on NYE too, and I know that I will be looking for her. If I see her, do I say something? And what would that be?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. If you see her...say Hello and introduce yourself as the guy from

plentyoffish. Sometimes, pictures and people don't always connect as recognizable (know what I mean)

Be nice, friendly and casual. Tell her you are glad that you ran into each other. Ask her opinion of the event you are both attending. Ask her about her holidays. Offer to go for a cup of coffee and see how she responds.

Good luck, Bennyboy :hug:

[NMDemDist2]

3. she may be away for the Holidays

after New Years if you don't hear by then

[jberryhill]

9. Tell her to drop dead for thinking she's all that

...and how stupid you were for even thinking that someone as snotty as her would be at all compatible with the likes of you.

That'll get her attention.