family/labor question

[Kali]

I was going to post this in GD but it is kinda scary in there right now, so I will try the lounge. Not sure if it is really a lounge subject but I need to rant.

I have a kid who is lucky enough to have found a job fairly close (we are in the boonies) doing mostly hospitality work. Washing dishes, serving, and general restaurant/hotel type stuff. She seems to be working some kind of split shift. Leaves here around 9 or 10 in the morning and coming back 10-11-12, sometimes even later at night. Sometimes even staying over (on a couch in the office?)

She is 18, almost 19 and we have been fighting about this so now I am not really being spoken to. I don't want to interfere too much, and I sure as hell don't want to discourage a young person from working! But I feel like these assholes are taking real advantage. She has a slight learning disability and some bad family history (actually my sister's kid, she has been with us for 15 years) involving alcohol. I suspect she is spending the time between shifts playing pool in the "saloon". Now the place is fairly high priced, so the real scuzzy drunks aren't hanging around all day there, but still this is another thing that has me worried.

What options do I have? Is this illegal having her up there 12 - 18 even over 24 hours? I there anything I can do and if so SHOULD I?

This is driving me crazy because at the same time I've got another one that moved to town and can't find a damn job!

[Kali]

1. .

kick?

[travelingtypist]

2. Talk to a family and/or labor lawyer?

The first thing you have to do is find out what's really going on. Check
her pay stubs and see if she's actually being paid for the number of hours
she's telling you she's working. Maybe she has a boyfriend she doesn't want
you to know about, something like that. You have to have the facts and she
might not be giving them to you.

[elleng]

3. Good idea to check on her pay,

and if you conclude/believe she's being cheated, you can mention it to her, as in doing her a favor; so not beating up on her, but trying to get them to treat her fairly. MAY enable her to keep job she 'likes,' w/out exposing anyone to unwanted consequences, AND getting you some points. HOPE SO; you deserve it. Sorry you have to put up with family unpleasantness; been there, doing that.

THANK YOU, and good luck.

edit: Yes, the long hours probably are illegal.

[Kali]

5. the issue is that she is NOT working all that many hours

the issue is more of this split shift nonsense and being "at work" all damn day. On the one hand hanging around up there during her time off saves gas/travel and allows a bit of a social life with the other employees, but the con is nothing gets done at home and the social life with some of the customers. Not that she is highly motivated to work around here. (a personal irritation for me, - she will get up in the morning to go there but for chores at home? HA!)

So she is working like 2 or 3 hours then hanging around all afternoon and working another 4 - 6 hours.

[travelingtypist]

6. You thought about cutting her loose?

She's an adult now and working. The way I'm reading this, she has freedom to
do what she wants when she wants and little responsibility, kind of a good deal,
nobody nagging her to do this, do that like she gets at home.

It's kind of strange that a business would let an off-the-clock employee just
hang out, even in the bar, and why would they let her work if she's drunk? That's
why I'm thinking she has someplace else she's going that she's not telling you about.

[Kali]

9. She's not drinking (not even of age)

and yes I wish she could just move up there - it's a guest ranch and some employees live up there in trailers. Problem is she doesn't have a vehicle or a trailer so she is still "stuck" here. For 6 hours a night.:eyes:

She might be running to town with friends in the afternoon but that actually bothers me a lot less than hanging around up there.

I don't know, I try to give the kids some autonomy and privacy, but this is kind of pissing me off. I have also had some other problems with this place for unrelated reasons so there is more to it.

[travelingtypist]

13. Well, good luck.

So there's a history going beyond just the girl. I guess that makes things a
little more complicated than if you were dealing with strangers. And since you
don't like the person running the place and they probably don't like you, the
kid is in the catbird seat playing one off the other. Lucky her.

Don't mind me, I'm kind of a cynic. Good luck.

[Rabrrrrrr]

4. Is her learning disability enough that she needs to be nannied through life?

If so, then you need to find out all the facts and be her spokesperson and help fight for her.



If not, then you need to tread somewhat more carefully, but you still might want to find out from her just how many hours she really is working, how much they her per hour (per what they say) versus what they're actually paying her (per her paychecks).

If you think she's an alcoholic, it could also be worth looking into whether they're having her stick around at break time burning up her pay drinking pricey booze.

But if she's only barely learning disabled, this might be a time for her to just learn a lesson on her own about real life, taking care of herself, and not letting people screw her over.

[Kali]

10. No not really.

Pretty mild and she has developed many good skills for survival, at least for what was available in this rural county in terms of the schools and my limited abilities.

I guess we just wait till she gets burned out, I can't really think of much else. Hate to get her terminated, but I also don't like them taking advantage (of anybody).

Oh and she's not drinking, the concern is hanging around with drunks. Especially old guys, ya know? There was some imprinting of the type early on before we got her. Makes me nervous.

[mdmc]

7. be there for her

like you are....

[southerncrone]

8. Is this the tale she's telling you, or have you confirmed this w/her employer?

If she's 18, you can't do anything, she's legally an adult (unless she has such disabilities that the courts have a say in her guardianship). Being 18-19, is a prime time to want to spread your wings & have more freedom but still keep the home base that supports you. Ya know, like a free roof over your head, free utilities, etc.
Sounds like she's finding "other things" to do "between shifts".

She may be making her employer out to be "the bad guy" because she doesn't want to let you know she's playing around the rest of the time & just coming "home" for a place to sleep & eat. That is, except those nights when she's crashing on someone's couch. I'd suspect major partying.

[Kali]

11. Oh no - I'm the one who is suspicious of the employer.

I have had some other unrelated dealings with them. She is more defensive of criticism than blaming. She thinks it's fine and may even be worried about losing the job if she complains, but she would never admit to me this is a hardship because she knows I would probably go get in the boss's face. She is a hard worker and I am pretty sure there isn't any serious partying - she just wouldn't be able to handle it and still function. That really isn't my worry (and it would be rather normal as you say for that age.)


I don't know, there are several parts to it. I have issues with these people. I think they are taking advantage. I also have control issues with her that I am trying to keep in check and that is why I am not sure how to react about this "schedule".

[southerncrone]

12. Unfortunately, in this "employers' market" it is easy for them to take advantage of

their employees. Many feel it's their "inalienable right" because they know it's hard for people to find other jobs in this devastated economy.

I'd suggest making an anonymous call (from some pay phone) to your state labor office telling them you suspect there is an abuse of the labor laws going on at this establishment. I wouldn't give too much info (so they couldn't track which employee you are referring to), just enough to put them on the trail.

Depending on your state, the response you receive may vary, depending on the industry you are reporting.

She is 18 & an adult. You have done her a great service by taking her in & raising her. Now is the time to let her go & allow her make the decisions (may they be mistakes) that will let her grow as an adult.

Like you said, she is working & liking it! Stay out of her end of it & call out the state dogs on this employer........just don't let them know she's involved.