Dating question

[AngryAmish]

1. Guy X dates Gal Y for two months.
They break up but no great drama. Just different lifestyles.

Fast forward fifteen years.

2. Guy X asks Gal Z for a date. Gal Z is the older sister of Gal Y.

Gal Z and her girlfriends tell me that Guy X is out of line and a little creepy. I say it is not creepy and a guy can ask anyone out that he wants. Gal Y doesn't care, been married for a long time and put Guy X out of her mind about ten minutes after they broke up.

So...what side do you stand on?


on edit Gal Z and her girlfriends are creeped out, her sister (the original dater) does not care.

[davsand]

1. So, once you date somebody you are not allowed to date anyone she knows EVER?

Is THAT the root of all this or is it a matter of Y is kinda freaked out because if anything DID work out between you (er, guy X, rather) and her sister it might feel kinda icky at family gatherings?

I can see how it might feel kinda icky to look across the Easter ham and see somebody you used to sleep with sitting there with your sister...


:shrug:

I will also say I know some women that think that any pal they might ever have is not allowed to date any ex they might have. THAT is a control thing, I think.





Laura

[AngryAmish]

5. Let me be clear - I am not Guy X

Mrs.AA has more or less explicitly said I am no longer allowed to date.

Gals Y and Z are friends of mine. We were talking about it over dinner last weekend.

[davsand]

13. Yeah, we wives have a way of crimping the dating style.

Sorry for the assumption!


:blush:



Laura

[PassingFair]

14. Guy X should branch out.

I have two daughters.

:)

I dated friends of my brother's
a few times and even THAT was
too weird.

[PassingFair]

2. Leave "Gal Z" alone...

Unless she came on to you.

There are millions of women in the world.
Why choose a sister?

[AngryAmish]

7. goto 5 above

[City of Mills]

3. Before my dad married my mom...

He dated my aunt (my mom's younger sister), so it's not unheard of.

[rockymountaindem]

4. Is there anything one can do these days that isn't "creepy"?

It seems that's the only word people use these days when it comes to dating. I mean, if Barack Obama were to do today what he did back then by asking Michelle out over and over again and persistently making his case, he'd probably get that label.

[Schema Thing]

6. Indeed. This social puritanism that has developed is... well

...you know I have to say it, creepy.

[Arkansas Granny]

8. Some might even call that behavior stalking.

[mopinko]

9. gal y is a little creepy.

although i will never forget the guy who dumped me and dated my sister, that was in a matter of days. and it was and is my sister that i blame for that shit. (not that i grind a big ax over that. just one more thing in a big box of shit.)

it is gal z's call.

[redqueen]

10. How did he come to be back in contact with his ex's sister, 15 years later?

Perhaps the answer might clue us in as to why these people find it creepy.

And yeah... I have the impression most sisters usually don't really like when guys cross that line.

[AngryAmish]

11. Gal Z knew Guy X from college

A facebook type thing put them together again although they have always ran into each other from time to time.

[redqueen]

12. Uh huh.

I'm with girl Z. Creepy.

[SacredCow]

15. My opinion...

Guy X isn't necessarily out of line- Two months is hardly a long term thing, and after 15 years I'd say that the "don't date your ex's sister" clause is expired or close to expiring. BUT since Gal Z isn't comfortable with it, then all she has to do is say no and that should pretty much be the end of it.

I personally think that Gal Z and her girlfriends are making a big deal out of nothing.

[skygazer]

16. 15 years?

Gal Z and her girlfriends are obviously loonies. Jesus, it's amazing the gene pool has survived this long. :eyes:

[Chan790]

17. I'm going to go find my old hockey helmet first...

because I know I'm going to get clobbered for this one. Not only is guy X not out of line...Gal Z strikes me as a bit oversensitive to call anyone "creepy" in this situation. Based on what little information I've been given, I would say that her friends are more-clearly out of line.

After 15 years, nobody is bound by any rules of decorum...especially if Gal Y doesn't care. (There are exceptions to this. See footnotes.) We're not dogs...you don't mark someone once and own them for life like a fire hydrant. It's certainly Gal Z's right to say no, she does not want to date Guy X...but to imply that some line has been crossed is the single stupidest thing I've heard on this young day.

Feet:

* If Gal Y is lying and still holds a little thing for Guy X but is lying about it because she's married. (And no...I don't think it's unnatural or wrong to still carry a torch for a former lover, especially if you'd never ruin what you have to act on it.)

* If Guy X was the first, best, freakiest, kinkiest or worst sexual experience of Gal Y's life and this had been expressed to Gal Z. Even I would concede that I would be might be uncomfortable going to bed with someone whom I knew intricate details of their sexual involvement with my sibling.