I have experienced "Panda Express" for the first time

[quakerboy]

What the hell went wrong that this hell has been released on earth?

[LeftyMom]

1. That shit is FOUL, no?

How on earth they not only stay in business but thrive, I have no idea. Especially in places where there's no shortage of Chinese food that's actually edible.

[petronius]

10. That's a false comparison - PE is not and is not intended to be Chinese food

When I want Chinese food I go to a good Chinese restaurant, but when I'm in the mood for an oversized pile of salty, slightly-overwarmed, poorly-presented, MSG-laden goodness, then there is no beating Panda Express...

[quakerboy]

13. Goodness?

one more word and you are on ignore, buster. Goodness and Panda Express belong nowhere in the same post.

I had Orange Chicken, Fried rice, and Sweet and Sour Pork. I had looked them up online earlier, and was hoping for Sweet and sour chicken and BBQ pork. But they didn't have either.

The Orange chicken tasted exactly(not a little, Exactly) like my stomach acid. It was like vomiting, without any of the relief.

The Fried Rice tasted much like... Water. Perhaps with a hint of paper. Not pepper, mind you, paper.

The sweet and sour pork tasted like... Catsup with a hint of brown sauce.

Where the crack was my MSG or Salt? Nowhere, thats where. And as to over sized... I guess any vomit on a plate could be considered oversized, but what I received was, to my understanding, supposed to be "food", and as such was nothing like over sized. Not that it mattered, because I refused to torment myself past the first taste of anything but the rice. That at least was mercifully taste free.


Never again. Not even if I am frozen, and awakened to a post apocalyptic world like that of Demolition man, with the exception that all restaurants, rather than being Taco Bell, are Panda Express. I would sooner eat Dirt. At least dirt tastes earthy, rather than like Vomit.

[petronius]

20. Now that is an eloquent rant - apparently a near-poisoning experience brings out the

poet in you!

What you describe bears no relation to any PE experience I've had, but it sounds so awful that I think you'd be perfectly justified in burning that particular franchise to the ground, to spare panda bears worldwide and yet unborn the shame of having their name attached to such a horror...

:)

[quakerboy]

21. Ok. I will give that 8 on the redemptive scale

yer safe fer now, but I'm keeping an eye on you.

[petronius]

22. Whew, close call!

I'll be more careful from here on... ;)

[quakerboy]

15. That was, bar none,

the worst food I have ever been served in any eating establishment. I have been served eggs with cigarette ash that were superior. I have drunk spoiled milk that was better, and accidentaly used rancid lard making pie crusts that were still superior to that food.


What the hell happened. I will be calling both the branch and the survey to register my complaints.

[sohndrsmith]

55. That s**t is FOUL, YES.... always smells rancid when I am within

range or someone brings home leftovers. I don't understand why they don't smell it... it's too bad, too. Would be nice to have a good take out nearby that was consistent and well prepared.

[jobycom]

2. No vegetarian options, so I've not had the pleasure.

Even their vegetable options have meat in them.

[Initech]

5. There's very little meat in these gym mats.

[quakerboy]

16. There is NO "Pleasure" to be had

I have never once, in all my life envied a Vegetarian on any diet related issue. Until your post.

[harmonicon]

33. that's not true

I've had a nice tofu and veggie thing from PE.

[quakerboy]

40. Take it back

You may have had tofu and veggie things from PE, but I refuse to accept that they could have been "nice".

[harmonicon]

50. fair enough

they contained calories which provided my body with energy. Is that acceptable?

[quakerboy]

54. I grudgingly accept

I have my doubts that even that much is true. But I have no scientific evidence to the contrary either.

[jobycom]

51. "Our entrées are prepared using a chicken base; we do not offer vegetarian meals "

Straight from their web site. http://www.pandaexpress.com/menu/nutrition.aspx

[harmonicon]

57. no way!

sweet!

[ccharles000]

3. other than egg roles Chinese food sucks!

[PBS Poll-435]

8. Sweet 'N' Sour Chicken

White rice

Extra sauce.

Bliss.

[jobycom]

12. We're going to tattoo that on your ass and drop you in Biejing naked.

:P

[quakerboy]

18. Rice is good. Egg Rolls suck

I hesitate to eat anything that I cannot easily identify the components of. Egg Rolls are near the top of my "no" list.

Sweet and Sour chicken, Fried Rice, and plain old white rice are all good. As long as the chicken isn't Cat. Cat is more like pork, and as such a little gamier and oilier.

Egg-Flower soup on the other hand, is rather like snot. Even at a decent chinese restaraunt.

[peruban]

27. Egg "roles", huh?

This from someone who prefers instant mashed potatoes to the real thing. I'll have to "bare" that in mind as I eat my bowl of ramen noodles for lunch now.

Recipe:
1 packet of ramen noodles
2 chopped green onions
1/2 thinly sliced carrot
a walnut sized piece of freshly grated ginger
freshly grated cabbage
freshly chopped parsley
4 or 5 dashes of mushroom soy sauce
2 1/4 cup water

Microwave 5 minutes and let cook and cool for about 5 more.

My God, the palate is not that hard of a thing to train! And the pleasure you gain from learning to eat new foods seriously outweighs the risks of offending your gently protected culinary biases.

[Initech]

4. Panda Express is either really good or really bad depending on the time of day.

That's the problem with Chinese places that use food trays.

[Sebastian Doyle]

6. Panda Express is like communism

The idea looks really good on paper, but in practice it just SUCKS.

[PBS Poll-435]

9. Can I please have that as my next sig line? Please. Pretty please...

:pouting:

[jobycom]

52. In Soviet Union, Panda Express eats YOU.

Pipe in the canned laughter.

[HEyHEY]

7. Canada let gays get married

[quakerboy]

11. Then why ain't the decor better, at least?

[HEyHEY]

14. All the creative thought went into weddings.

[Submariner]

17. Food Court in Barceloneta, Puerto Rico

When on business in Barceloneta I eat at a Food court with about 10 fast food eateries. The Panda Express ALWAYS has a ratio of about 10 to 1 in the number of people in line waiting for food compared to the other joints. It's far and away the most popular food in that town.

The noodles with orange chicken are pretty good. It's not like my local Chinatown food, but when on the road, it's okay for lunch.

[quakerboy]

19. Perhaps PR has rules regarding what qualifies to be served as food

Oregon, apparently, does not.

I actually kinda think that something in the "orange chicken" had spoiled. Honest to God, it tasted exactly like stomach Acid. That just ain't Right.

[Schema Thing]

26. Is your company hiring?

I want a job that takes me to Barceloneta, damknit!

[Submariner]

34. Sorry...they are actually starting layoffs thanks to Bush

[rcrush]

23. I love Panda Express.

You all be quiet right now.

[quakerboy]

41. My first ignore since the primaries

How could any human sink so low?

[insanity]

24. Panda Express was a huge part of my dorm life

They have one on campus. My digestive system is stoked that it is no longer a part of culinary repertoire

[KitchenWitch]

25. That is Chinese for disgusting

[spinbaby]

28. I just had Panda Express for lunch

Their Beijing beef is quite yummy.

[yellowdogintexas]

29. Panda Express outlets vary significantly from store to store.

and as another poster stated, according to time of day.

I have gone at just the right time for a fresh tray of broccoli beef to land in the steam tray and it was quite good. Just cooked, bright and fresh veg, still tender crisp.

Usually I look it over and decline, heading to the Opah Greek cafe next door and have a highly dependable Greek chicken salad.

[DS1]

30. I ate plenty of that in Hawaii

It wasn't that bad, but it was 15 years ago. And in Hawaii.





Hawaii.

[hobbit709]

31. Panda Express is the Chinese food equivalent of Taco Bell

[quakerboy]

44. I say nay

Tacobell has the quesadilla, which is pretty well impossible to ruin. PE has Nothing.

[harmonicon]

32. I love panda express

I think it's the sort of thing that you either love or hate.... it's not the same as food from a chinese restaurant, the same way that McDonald's isn't the same as a burger from a decent restaurant.

[dynasaw]

35. It's Not Even Chinese

PE and its clones are what many Americans THINK is Chinese food. No self respecting Chinese would eat anything like sweet sour pork in red glue, or kung pao what not. For Chinese people, fried rice is left over food--rice thrown together with whatever is around including the kitchen sink.

[quakerboy]

42. McDonald's has redeeming qualities.

Expediency, and salt. PE has none. Try your propaganda elsewhere, capitalist pigdog.

[harmonicon]

47. hahahaha

Really, I would love if this town had a Panda Express. The last time that I ate at the McDonald's here, I felt sick.

[jmowreader]

36. Well, they're cookin' pandas, for one thing...

[TX Screwball]

37. ...and panda meat is way too sweet....

...when you cook it too quick.

I joke but their food is just way too sweet.

[mainegreen]

38. It's old people buffet, without the self serve, or the dignity.

Mall food.

[pinniped]

39. I had eggplant last time for the last time.

It looked like it came out of a centrifuge.

Their food gives me allergies anyways.

Never again!

[GRLMGC]

43. I can't eat it

I associate it with getting sick and vomiting. That, and chocolate chip muffins. Uhhh.....

[quakerboy]

45. It tasted like Vomit "fresh" from their scooping devices.

I can only imagine how bad it would be on the second round.

[GRLMGC]

48. Uhh...

Bad times. It was Panda Express leftovers too!

[CreekDog]

46. but not the last time

silly boy thinks its over. :rofl:

[quakerboy]

49. Trust me, its done

I was actually disgusted enough that I called corporate today. The guy was out, so I will call back tomorrow. There is no reason that anyone should be served that "food". It was so far beyond anything I have experienced, as an experienced fast food consumer. Yall joke, and I do too, but it really bothered me at a very deep level.

[rcrush]

53. I ate at Panda Express everyday last week.

Its yummy. The one by my house has a drive through!

[BreweryYardRat]

56. I'll stick to patronizing my local Chinese places. Thanks for the warning, though.

If you're ever in Sarasota, Florida, order from China Palace Express. They make a FANTASTIC cashew shrimp.

And if you're ever in the north part of Tampa, Florida, Dragon Express on Fletcher Ave makes their fried rice with a side of cocaine...okay, not coke, but it's good enough to be highly addictive.

[bmbmd]

58. The Panda Express in Sherman, Texas

is far from bad. And, they have the nicest kids working there. I have eaten my weight in Orange Chicken.