Recipe: Cat poo cookies

[demnan]

I know, this is an oldie but a goodie.

http://www.marxworld.co.uk/Pages/blends.htm#Catpoo

Cat poo cookies

There are two flavors-chocolate (dark brown), and gingerbread (light brown).
The amounts may require adjustment to taste, the cookies are dense and not very sweet, this is necessary so that they will keep their shape during baking. If you use white flour or sugar they may be tastier but they won't look like shit.


Chocolate Ingredients
1/2 cup honey
2/3 cup (1 and 1/3 stick) butter, margarine, or lard
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla or peppermint extract
2 cups whole wheat flour
1/3 cup cocoa powder
Grape-nuts (tm) cereal

Gingerbread Ingredients
1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup treacle
2/3 cup(1 and 1/3 stick) butter or margarine, or lard
1 egg
2 and 1/3 cups whole wheat flour
spices-ginger, cinnamon, cloves to taste (maybe 1/2 tsp each)
grape-nuts (tm) cereal

Now for you real sickies, the new improved mix-ins: (ailment of your choice)

Coconut (tapeworms).
Chocolate chips.
Butterscotch chips - Ohh nasty.
Peanut butter chips.
Cooked spaghetti or ramen noodles (roundworms).
Cooked alphabetti spaghetti (wordworms).
Corn (preferably off the cob).
Peanuts.
"Those puffy pastel things you find at Chinese restaurants"
(to look like the cat ate Styrofoam packing pellets).


Build details: Microwave the honey till it bubbles (about 1 minute). add the butter, (using lard makes for a more realistic texture and softer cookie (but not so great a taste)) and the treacle, if any. Add the egg, mix well, then mix in all the other stuff. add mix-ins of your choice to some or all of the batter. Chill 1 hour in the freezer or several hours in the fridge. Roll dough logs of random length and the diameter of cat poops. Roll logs in grape-nuts and bake at 350 degrees till done (10 to 15 minutes)

Serving details: Place artistically in a disposable cat litter box on a bed of Grape-nuts, with a cat litter scoop. You get lovely effects by decorating the box and scoop with melted chocolate or pudding.

[kodi]

1. what? no cat poo fondue?

.

[SoCalDem]

2. Here's a kitty litter cake recipe too

Note from Cheri:
This clever Halloween cake recipe, that frightfully resembles a well used kitty litter box, was given to us by Kellie Head, the fabulous editor of ParentingHumor.com, a must visit site for all parents.
Despite the cake's appearance, it's really delicious. For the proper presentation, use a brand new (and definitely unused) plastic cat litter box and spoon it onto plates with a new (NEVER used) pooper scooper.

As a side note, thanks to the producers of Cruel.com, who honored this recipe with the Cruel Site of the Day Award on December 18, 2000. Editor Rogers Cadenhead said he looked at dozens of Kitty Litter Cake recipes but ours had "the most stomach-turning picture of the finished product."

If you like dark humor, a visit to Cruel.com is a must!

1 spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 white cake mix
2 large pkg vanilla instant pudding mix, prepared (I like Bird's® dessert mix)
1 large pkg vanilla sandwich cookies
green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls®

1 new kitty litter pan
1 new plastic kitty litter pan liner
1 new pooper scooper

Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans).

Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble.

Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix until completely colored.

When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. Important: mix in just enough of the pudding to moisten it. You don't want it too soggy. Combine gently.

Line a new, clean kitty litter box. Put the cake/pudding/cookie mixture into the litter box.

Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls bury them in the mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly on top of everything -- this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter.

Heat 3 Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake; sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Spread remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top; take one and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box, sprinkling it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around for a truly disgusting effect!

Further notes: I had a reader write in saying this recipe only needed half the amount of pudding. I personally liked the cake with the amount given in this recipe. But feel free to use this as a loose guideline, use more or less as you see the need. Also, since the layer of cookies (with the chloropyll green specks, covers the top, you could really use any flavor or flavors or cakes underneath. Last but not least, you can also opt not to crumble the cakes, but rather layer them in the pan with the layers of pudding in between (much like you would layer a trifle into a trifle dish), sprinkle the top layer of pudding with a heavy layer of crumbled cookies. Same effect, different texture entirely to the dessert.