Need advice about how to reason with a raccoon

[struggle4progress]

A certain raccoon, whom I here will call Rocky for lack of a better name, has decided my back deck is the latest and greatest place to hang out

This is awkward because I generally use only my back door. The deck is railed, so Rocky can only get onto the deck by going up two or three steps from the driveway. Rocky then prefers to chill under a built-in bench near the steps. This is OK if I have to leave because (so far) I can just tell Rocky to get off my deck, and Rocky will leave. But if I were to come back home with Rocky there, I couldn't easily get into the house, because I'd have to walk right by Rocky, whose reactions (if trapped briefly on the deck) might be unpredictable

When I first encountered Rocky, the animal cowered under the bench and fled at the earliest opportunity. A few days later, the attitude shifted to something more like "Ha! the big doofus doesn't know I'm here," and I had to point to the stairs and explain that it was time to go. That did work a few times. But last night, I went out on the deck and Rocky crept out somewhat and studied me. I'm afraid I was reduced to scuffing my foot across the deck and saying somewhat rudely, "Leave!" So Rocky left -- in no great hurry, I might add, and with a rather insulted manner

Rocky is welcome in my yard, and some of the local raccoon tribe has been making use of portions of the separate garage for several years, but Rocky seems to be getting a bit too comfortable with me as a natural feature of the landscape. I don't mind wildlife -- but easy familiarity is not at all to my taste: there's too much of a chance of misunderstandings and an unhappy confrontation, leading to a banged-up raccoon and a clawed/bitten struggle4progress

Advice? WWLD?

[BlueCollar]

1. There's no reasoning IMO

I thought I'd "allow" two raccoons to "hang out" on my deck last year. They ended up getting comfortable enough to climb onto the roof, tear up a bunch of shingles and gnaw a hole large enough in the chimney siding to access the attic. Once in they tore up a bunch of insulation.

Took several days to trap them and a lot of time to repair the damage.

My advice is to actively discourage "Rocky" from getting too comfortable.

[struggle4progress]

11. Thanks

[sarge43]

2. What BlueCollar said.

Also raccoons can carry rabies. Rocky needs to relocate.

[IndianaJones]

3. shotgun or .17 HMR. nt

[LiberalEsto]

4. Use the hose

A few good soakings might do the trick

[Gormy Cuss]

8. With the nozzle set to "stream" or whatever the narrow setting is called.

They don't like that. They're also slow learners so it may been to be reinforced for months before they figure out the meaning.

[Deep13]

5. shoot it.

It's not like they're endangered or anything. Raccoons are intrusive by nature, they carry rabies and they won't go away.

[NV Whino]

6. There is no reasoning with a raccoon

Shoot the fucker.


Gawd, I never thought I would ever say that, but raccoons are the devil incarnate.

[applegrove]

7. I once had a kitten who chased a mother racoon up a tree. Only about 4 feet up though.

You see that was the point at which the huge racoon realised it was only a tiny kitten chasing him. So she stopped and the kitten got confused and stood down. I quickly picked up my little cat and put her inside.

[struggle4progress]

14. Taking kitty inside was a good idea. A friend of mine twenty years ago had

a box of new kitties in his patio. One morning, nothing was left but the tails. He blamed local raccoons.

[applegrove]

18. How awful. Didn't know racoons were meat eaters but I guess they are as

they were after the cat food the night my kitten chased the racoon family away.

[Karenina]

9. Super soaker and a little ammonia.

[lukasahero]

10. Can you block him from getting on your deck?

I mean, obviously, he's a raccoon, if he really wants to he can get on your deck but it sounds like he likes the ease of going up the stairs. Can you block the stairs?

Maybe you could attach some chicken wire to the bottom of the bench so he can't get to his 'favorite' spot?

Your story is very cute. I hope you don't listen to the people here telling you to shoot him. :scared:

[struggle4progress]

13. I'm gonna keep the porchlight on and spray some fox urine on the step risers and under the bench

[quakerboy]

12. Beware

Racoon's will eat your face. Do you like your face?


Try the water first. Maybe a little something in it, bitter apple or vinegar or that type to give it a bite.

That failing, you can always learn to crawl in and out a window, right?

[struggle4progress]

16. Not to worry: not only do I like my face, I like my hands and my legs and other parts

I already know just about as much about raccoon teeth as I need to know right now: namely, I like them better with increasing distance

http://www.acm.vt.edu.nyud.net:8090/~clint/download/imagedump/raccoon-by-nal_miama-at-flickr-275356843_bba2ef0ab1.jpg
http://farm1.static.flickr.com.nyud.net:8090/245/459030613_ff193616f6.jpg

[jobycom]

15. Call the Sara Palin Extermination Squad. She needs the work, and she can field dress Rocky

when she's done.

Actually, I think the little guy sounds cute. I'd probably just hang out and share a beer with him. But I live in an apartment, and when I lived in my house the dogs kept anything else out of the yard. So, buy him a beer, or buy a dog, or call Sara.

Yeah, I'm not useful. I just thought the post was so cute I wanted to be a part of it.

[Robeson]

17. I'm with you...

...I'd probably end up feeding him, and making him/her my best buddy.