Funny sayings - add your own.

[TNDemo]

My grandmother was full of them. Here are a few that I remember:

Well, that beats a pig a'peckin' and a hen a'rootin.'

I'll have to turn you over my checkered apron.

He was out of there like Snyder's pup (have no idea who Snyder was).

"I see," said the blind man shaking his wooden leg. (I have heard "I see" said the blind man to his deaf and dumb wife as an adult - have no idea where the wooden leg came from.)


She was not a country person, though her sayings were. She was the first person I know to have a microwave. I remember around 1970 thinking it was funny my grandmother wore a tank top and shorts and was zapping weinies in the microwave instead of the typical granny image. So what sayings went around in your family?

[HEyHEY]

1. For when someone is drinking hard

"He's got his snowsuit on and he's heading North"

[av8rdave]

2. That's slicker than snot on a doorknob

And one of my favorite Douglas Adams quotes: Flying is the art of throwing yourself at the ground - and missing.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. Leaning plumb toward Schronce's. --

shot a rooster, killed a hen.
Dumber than dirt clods.
cat head biscuits.

[TNDemo]

4. Deader than a doornail and deader than 4:00.

Heard those all my life.

[LanternWaste]

5. "I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd help..."

From the movie, Wargames.

"I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it'd help..."

Tickles me for no reason. :)

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. If brains were dynamite, he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

[skygazer]

7. "I see" said the blind man, "as he picked up his hammer and saw"

On the other hand, he had four fingers and a thumb

Slower than molasses in January

I didn't know him from a bale of hay (that was on of my mother's and I always thought it was funny - pictured the person in question standing next to a bale of hay and my mom not being able to tell the difference)

Doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground

Dumber than a box of rocks

Beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

[av8rdave]

8. Dumber than a month old oyster fart

I first saw that line in Tim O'Brien's classic "Going After Cacciato."

There's another thread here about books and movies. That book would have made a great movie.

[dropkickpa]

9. My dad's mum says "butter my butt"

Very southern of her, though her entire life has been spent in Iowa with about 10 years in Chicago back in the late 20's early 30's. She also is fond of saying "Fuck the catholic church!" ever since they excommunicated her in the 30's. She's 92 and just awesome.

[TNDemo]

10. Acting like the south end of a northbound mule.

They keep coming back to me.

[PVnRT]

11. Well, I can sit upright and take solid food, so I'm fine.

[PVnRT]

12. Too poor for a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.

[sinkingfeeling]

13. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.