If I told you this about a person, what would you say?

[grasswire]

What would you say about this 26-year-old woman? Her husband is working 18-hour days and carrying enormous stress as a small business owner. The woman is:


1. unable to feed young child and self -- keeps no food in the house and relies on spouse to bring ready-made food; child is often faced with delayed meals.

2. unable to do most household chores; only some laundry

3. unable to shop for groceries or do errands alone ("panic attacks")

4. dependent on spouse for decisions large and small

5. anxiety episodes, with paranoia and obsessive thinking

6. must constantly know whereabouts of spouse and be in contact

7. can't be alone; will follow people from room to room, repetitive phone calls, calling out

8. grandiosity and sense of entitlement

9. irrational self-description

10. emotionally batters spouse through derision, belittling, name-calling

11. uses 2-year-old child to triangulate emotions and belittle caregiver

12. unusual affect -- vascilates between extremes of flat and excitable

13. embellishes to enhance her own "victim" status in daily happenings

14. embellishes for drama

15. poor social skills -- ignoring conversational cues, entering room with a "victim" story while ignoring the presence of others in the room

16. manipulations through claims of such things as "tunnel vision" and "lightheaded" and other ailments

17. demands special, expensive food and household purchases

18. unable to socialize the child; the child is allowed to act out in ways that the mother claims victimized her

19.....much, much more

When it's all put together on a list, the reality of the situation is facing some family members.

[rug]

1. Needs a psych eval.

Preferably before it's ordered through a child neglect case.

[mwooldri]

2. This person needs help. And fast.

For the sake of the child alone...

Mark.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I'd support removing the child to a stable, loving home...

And the mom needs to be evaluated and perhaps hospitalized in order to get her back on track to wellness...

That is a scary, messy situation.

[Dangerously Amused]

4. Psych eval stat; if no cooperation consider 3P commitment.

[truedelphi]

5. Sounds very bi-polar - OR WORSE! PLEASE GET HELP FOR

THIS POOR PERSON IMMEDIATELY.

And the spouse and the kid need relatives and friends to help put their lives back together too.

[grasswire]

7. we've just finally realized that she's not just quirky or selfish...

....but that there is a real mental health issue. The child is now coming to my home for several hours a day and I am feeding him and tending to him. She comes for supper now, too.

The problem is this: how to move past realization to action. The husband, so stressed, so fatigued, will be resistant to the suggestion of a real mental health issue in her. He has been through the wringer.

Her own family lives about an hour away. I do not know how they would react if we contacted them with concern about her. Maybe they already know there's something wrong. Her mother has seen the condition of the house.

So three of us are first going to talk to a mental health professional for guidance as how to proceed.

[RoyGBiv]

8. I don't understand that ...

Well, I do, in a theoretical way, and I "understand" it because I've been subjected to it, but still ...

Why on gopod's green earth would someone be resistant to the idea someone has a "real mental health issue" in favor of thinking a person is just a selfish clod? *One* of those can be treated.

When I was diagnosed officially after years and years of behavior that allowed me to screw myself over and frustrate people I loved and worked with, I started actually getting better. And *that* is when people started talking behind my back about something being wrong with me ... wondering if I'd "go postal" someday.

It's just infuriating.

Anyway, as others have said ... this person is depressed or bi-polar or some variation thereof, and she needs a psych eval quickly before it goes from obnoxious and somewhat dangerous into flat out dangerous.

[grasswire]

9. excellent points, and I appreciate your comments

Still, it can be shocking and overwhelming to think that your partner (as dysfunctional as she may be) needs some professional intervention. He is mired in trying to cope with everything while absolutely exhausted.

[Swede]

6. panic attacks are nothing to dismiss.

She should seek help.

[Lil Missy]

10. I'd say she needs a mental health evaluation, and quickly, before something tragic happens.

[Ptah]

11. Oy vey carumba

[MrSlayer]

12. I'd say "No wonder that dude works 18 hour days."

And then I'd likely say "This woman probably needs mental help or a friend or a kick in the ass or maybe a friend to kick her in the ass and get her some mental help."

[Skittles]

13. that gal needs medical attention

and a social worker should be checking on that child

[BlueIris]

14. Long-term therapy. Beginning now.

That person has ISSUES.

Not sure why you're asking about this here, though.

[Bertha Venation]

15. Needs to see a psychiatrist, at the least. n/t