Since there's so much talke about marriage on DU today, I want to pose this question to the Lounge.

[raccoon]

It seems to me that in the marriages in my family and extended family, the majority of the time one person says, "Jump," and the spouse says, "How high?"

There are a few exceptions.

Your experience?

[rug]

1. When we say "Jump", we're usually looking up a tall building, placing bets.

[siligut]

2. I never ask "How high."

My husband can get me to do anything. He doesn’t ask much and when he does he says please. On the other hand, I can’t get him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Luckily we are perfectly matched and best friends, so we synch-up most of the time.

[dropkickpa]

3. In my family, in the rock solid marriages,

the answer is usually "Fuck off!" :rofl: The people in my family tend to be quite outspoken and marry people who are the same, so there's very little pushover-ness going on. When we do see that sort of thing happening, it usually signals a divorce coming down the pike.

[Reverend_Smitty]

5. lol...yep that pretty much goes for my family as well...

I could SO see my aunt telling my uncle to "fuck off" at that particular request...and they've been happily married for 19 years :rofl:

[Gormy Cuss]

8. I think we're related.

:D

[TZ]

4. In the most dysfunctional marriage I know of

thats indeed the case..even to dictating whom the spouse can be friends with.

[LynzM]

6. In my experience...

That's not a healthy way to be. :(

[raccoon]

13. I don't think so either. I guess that's why I never married. nt

[Broken_Hero]

7. in my experience,

thats not the way, its usually a give/take...although quite of few of the couples eventually divorced...out of the 8 marriages I've been around(as friend, or family) 4 ended in divorce....

[Blue-Jay]

9. huh?

[skygazer]

10. Not in my marriage

Neither of us says "jump" anyway - we tend to think alike about the things that are really important and if a disagreement does arise, we simply talk it out. I can't be bothered with either trying to please someone else all the time or being bossy.

[KamaAina]

11. You do realize there are a number of married couples hanging around here, right?

:popcorn:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. and have you noticed...

not many of them are responding to this thread.

The silence is deafening, don't you think

[davsand]

12. "Jump" said by either one of us would probably be followed by, "Your WHAT hurts???"

I can't imagine it, ever. We both are pretty independent folks.

:shrug:



Laura

[curse of greyface]

14. Yup. It is almost always the woman that controls the bankbook etc after a while.

I have known a few families where the men still "ran the show" and it was an unmitigated disaster.

Most men are wise enough to let their wives do everything. In return they get peace and quiet and occasional snuggle.

[Heidi]

15. That has never happened in my marriage, and I feel pretty confident saying

that if it _did_ happen, it would only happen that one time. Neither of us is very big on being bossed around. :hi:

[seemunkee]

17. WTF?

Not in mine or my brothers. Equal partners make life more pleasant.

[tigereye]

18. no, decisions are pretty even in mine

I suppose occasionally we both feel that the other person is a bit too, um, "directive" shall we say? ;)