Things NOT to say when seeing "The Passion"

[underpants]

"Why is he white?"

"Holy sh*t!!"

"I thought Lennon was shot"

"Drop that thing and RUN Jesus!"

"I thought Mary was his mother not his wife"

"Jesus f______ CHRIST!!!!!"

"They stole this whipping thing from 'Roots' "

"He's a hippie!!!"

"When is the part where he wears the flightsuit?"

"This reminds me of 'Kill Bill'"

"pssssst how do you think he is going to get out of THIS spot?"

Offer your own or just pray for me. If you put me on ignore let me know.

[bif]

1. "Gosh, Mel really nailed this story."

n/t

[elfin]

2. Chant ala football game

Hit him again - Harder Harder!

[WilliamPitt]

3. "Goodbye, Misssssssster Andersen"

[southerngirlwriter]

4. I'm going to put you on ignore.....

....if you don't bring back the dancing underpants signature!! Everytime I see a post by you I click and get all happy anticipating the dancing underpants, and then...they're GONE!! :grr:

[underpants]

21. Here ya go

[southerngirlwriter]

24. Thanks !!

See, now I'm laughing. First time I've laughed all day. :D

[xultar]

49. But, they aren't dancing...

:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:

[underpants]

52. You want dancing on a religous thread???

[tkulesa]

LOL!

I love it! :P

[Pale Blue Dot]

5. "I see dead people"

nt

[MichaelHarris]

6. LMFAO

"Drop that thing and RUN Jesus!"
run Jesus run Jesus. Man that cracked me up. You know we're going to hell don't you? Thats the funniset post I've seen good work.

[WilliamPitt]

7. "What were Jesus' last words?"

*wham wham wham* "OW, MY HAND, YOU FUCKERS!!!"

*wham wham wham* "NOT THE OTHER ONE, OH YOU OW OW OW OW!!!

[underpants]

13. And you went to Catholic school?

Oh this is horrible I am laughing my a** off here.

The first was from your article "The Passion of America" very good as usual. Burnt grass huh? A black or brown Jesus would have put some of the "religous" types around here in a bit of a quandry.

[WilliamPitt]

16. I went to Catholic school and then taught at a Catholic school

*wham wham wham* "I guess I'll never PLAY THE PIANO AGAIN!!!"

[GOPisEvil]

18. And more...

*wham wham wham* "MY FEET TOO?! DAMN, YOU ROMANS SUCK!!!"

[WilliamPitt]

20. *wham wham wham* ARGH, MY DELICATE, SHAPELY ANGLO ANKLES!!!"

:)

[Forkboy]

26. "Thanks,I like the being the only saviour..

..who can use his hand as a fucking whistle!!!"

[WilliamPitt]

28. Jesus, eclipse!

You're on to me. :)

Kinison rules.

[Forkboy]

58. He was awesome

I know he got all Hollywood on us,but that special is one of the all time great comedy acts.

[CanuckAmok]

193. Jesus walks into a hotel....

...slams three nails down on the front desk, and says "Hey, can you put me up for the night?"




Q: Why Can't Jesus eat Skittles?

A: Because they fall through the holes in His hands.

[JanMichael]

197. Bwahahahaha! Thanks!

I needed that....Had a long drive today...

[VOX]

200. "What a lousy way to spend Easter!"

:evilgrin:

[chiburb]

8. "He'll have to cross his legs...there's only 1 nail left"...

[alittlelark]

9. I think I'm having a heart attack!!

:evilgrin:

[chiburb]

10. "So THIS is why we get Good Friday off"...

[demnan]

11. We're definately all going to hell

for responding to this!!!!!

[Pale Blue Dot]

12. "This is way cooler than 'Freddy vs. Jason'"

[matcom]

14. "Bob Villa would have used decking screws"

[MichaelHarris]

51. spew

I spewed coke out my nose when I read that. Good job

[tkulesa]

73. BWAAAAhahahaha

Geez. Knock it off. I'm a work. I can't be laughing like this. It's against the rules to smile or have fun.

[VOX]

201. Ha! Major spit take!

dribble...

:toast:

[Rabrrrrrr]

214. Laughed so hard I started coughing

that was great!

Would he sink a hole first, or just drive 'em straight through like a man?

[matcom]

239. Countersink of course

its 'in the craftsman' :D

[BurtWorm]

15. "Oy! These crazy goyim!"

[bif]

17. Is that cross maple or walnut?

n/t

[jmowreader]

252. Pressure-treated Southern Yellow Pine

I know all the crosses I make are pressure-treated Southern Yellow Pine--I do probably fifty a year, all right around Christmas and Easter. And my crosses are The Best! Every storefront preacher in town says so! Doesn't Jesus deserve to be lynched on the best?

Accept no substitutes! Insist on JimCross--the only Christian worship crosses made by an atheist!

[bhunt70]

19. Use the Force!

[underpants]

30. True story-vocabulary test 3rd ? grade "May the _____ be with you"

I answered "The force" which of course was not on the vocabulary list that week, the correct answer was "the lord" I got full credit though.

[Pale Blue Dot]

22. "Look at that hat! Jesus could use a visit from the Queer Eye guys!"

[Whitacre D_WI]

23. "Crucify him!"

"Crucify him!"

[chiburb]

25. "He said no to Mary Magdalene for THIS"???

[WilliamPitt]

29. She said I was gonna get nailed tonight, but this sucks.

[chiburb]

35. Hahahahahahaha.

[underpants]

41. Oh criminy

Am I right to assume that this was a frequent matter of dark humor in Catholic school?

Never play piano again. LOL

[VelmaD]

Oh you are soooo...

gonna burn in hell for that one. :spank:

*snort*

[MattBaggins]

227. My freind said this Jesus guy was gonna get nailed.

What this isn't a gay porno?

[Pale Blue Dot]

27. "Toga! Toga! Toga!"

Ok, I think I'll stop now.

[waterman]

31. So if a huge bolt strikes DU's servers, I guess we'll have a little more

material to work with here. Dang, you guys are awfully funny. But ...shhhhhhh, don't tell anyone (ahem...) that I said that.

[chiburb]

32. "What I go through to meet Lara Croft"

[Liberal Veteran]

33. How much do you think that cross will go for on Ebay?

:)

[screwfacecapone]

225. how much do you think those nails will go on ebay!

n/a

[I AM SPARTACUS]

236. why wait...I'll let ya have a couple now, right cheap, too...

pm me..

[EstimatedProphet]

34. "Always look on the bright side of life"

Sung, of course.

[alittlelark]

57. ROFLMAO

now that song is stuck in my head!!!

[Ganja Ninja]

36. "Great flick but I didn't get the ending."

and please try to refrain from singing "Always look on the bright side of life."

[BurtWorm]

40. "I'm sorry, I spaced out for a second there...Did he get away?"

[Beetwasher]

113. n/t

n/t

[matcom]

37. "VOTE HIM OFF THE ISLAND!"

[underpants]

45. You're fired!

[Bertha Venation]

38. Don't worry. They use ketchup.

[Liberal Veteran]

42. "Do you suppose his blood tastes like cheap wine like in church?"

:)

[Bertha Venation]

47. heh

We were Baptists (Once, and Young)... we didn't have wine. We had grape juice.

[Liberal Veteran]

54. I grew up in a Southern Baptist home...ugh...

So we had the grape juice thing going on too.

Nothing will make you agnostic faster than realizing you are gay while being raised a southern baptist.

[Bertha Venation]

59. You should talk to Mrs. V.

She grew up So. Bap. and knew it was BS (just the laws of that sect) from a very young age. Her parents still are So. Bap. -- but they accept her.

Me? I brought myself up Baptist, no parental influence. WTF was wrong with me? ;)

[DoYouEverWonder]

108. Considering the idea

that Jesus's first miracle was to change water into wine, it seems the grape fruit drinkers don't really get it?

[Robb]

39. FAKE! ....FAKE!!

"Dude. You can TOTALLY see the wires." :D

[WilliamPitt]

43. "Shane! Come back, Shane!"

[waterman]

44. The devil, giving the visitor's tour of hell:

"So this is our DU Wing...you can see large we had to build it".

[WilliamPitt]

46. ...and that cage in the corner is something they call GD2004.

Don't get to close.

[VelmaD]

53. They tried to make us take something called...

the Gun Dungeon but even hell has standards...we built a special contract facility in Lubbock for it. :evilgrin:

[underpants]

48. "...coffee breaks over back on your heads..."

Punchline to an old joke.

[bif]

50. Hey, I think I know where THIS story's going...

n/t

[xultar]

55. All of this and he didn't get no Poon Tang?!? n/t

[VOX]

203. He did in Scorcese's "The Last Temptation."

:evilgrin:

[underpants]

56. If he can get his foot on the ropes they have to let him go, right pa?

[GOPisEvil]

60. Why isn't Pilate using soap to wash his hands?

[GumboYaYa]

61. "That reminds me, I need to finish nailing up that paneling..."

:)

[BurtWorm]

62. "I am suddenly so in the mood for Italian food."

[Karenina]

188. Grotesque.

BURTWORM, I did NOT need to see that!!! :spank:
:puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke: :puke:

[BurtWorm]

189. I didn't make the movie, I just reported what was in it.

;) Don't blame me, blame Mel!

PS: Truly sorry if anyone gets grossed out by that image. I was too!

[aldian159]

212. "Chirst. The other other white meat

[ronnykmarshall]

63. If only The Flying Nun was here!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

67. AHAHAhahahahaha!

My nose just got douched with hot tea...

[ronnykmarshall]

72. Glad to help

I keep having this vision of end of the film, Jesus looks up sees Sally Field flying overhead and the theme from "The Flying Nun" cues up.

[Pale Blue Dot]

64. "But he was just one week from retirement!"

[WilliamPitt]

69. Why does Jesus look like John Travolta?

[GOPisEvil]

70. Jesus only had one resurrection. Travolta has had at least two, maybe 3.

[Pale Blue Dot]

75. My son's home now. I'll deal with you later.

And there will be no Mothra to save you!

[WilliamPitt]

77. Why does your son look like Jesus Travolta?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

65. Effing hilarious!

That's what you are, Underpants!

I wasn't going to see this movie; but now I'm soooo tempted to go, and spout out every remark on your list.

[Zomby Woof]

66. I said I'd go to Calvary, and hang out for a few days

Damn fundies, taking me literally again! :grr:

[northzax]

68. so, did you hear Rosie got married this week?

nt

[rexcat]

71. "Make it hurt till it feels good!"

[WilliamPitt]

74. Start singing Devo at the top of your lungs

Whip it! Whip it good!

[GOPisEvil]

76. Are we not men? We are the Christ!

[northzax]

78. Go Pontius!

It's your birthday! Have a Party! Go Pontius.

[WilliamPitt]

80. Pontius! Pontius! He's our man! If he can't do it,

Ezekeiashadrach can!

[northzax]

83. Gimme a R, Gimme an O

Gimme a M. Gimme an A. Gimme a N, Gimme a S! What's that spell? ROMANS! GOOOOOOOOOOOOO, ROMANS!

[WilliamPitt]

84. Savior! Savior! Sieve! Sieve!

[Sandpiper]

79. "Jesus had a mullet!"

n/t

[WilliamPitt]

81. Jesus had a mallet!

*wham wham wham*

[underpants]

86. That guy from Creed sure takes himself seriously huh?

The wham wham wham thing is killing me.......Oh that's another one.

[VelmaD]

92. Are you on drugs?

Seriously? :)

[WilliamPitt]

98. I'm high on the passion of the Lord Jeebus

*wham wham wham*

[I AM SPARTACUS]

237. he fed the masses with 5 mullets...

[DrWeird]

82. "Hey! I can see my house from up here!"

Ah, we're all going to hell anyways.

[underpants]

88. Hey what are they putting up that wall for?

Okay and now we go in another direction.

[ronnykmarshall]

85. Do you have crown of thorns in another size?

[BurtWorm]

90. "That crown really brings out the red in your blood, Jesus!"

[ronnykmarshall]

97. Yeah, I can only wear it once.

[matcom]

87. "THEY NAILED IT!"

:bounce:

when asked by a reporter as you are polled coming OUT of the theater!

[underpants]

96. When do the girls in the plaid skirts start showing up?

Catholic high school girls in trouble.

[Paragon]

89. "Oh, THAT's gotta hurt."

:D

[Zomby Woof]

91. "If I had a hammer..."

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening ... all over this land,

[VelmaD]

94. Oh yeah, it's hell in a handbasket for you mister...

BENT OAFER! :spank:

[GOPisEvil]

100. Alllllllll aboard! Hell Express, leaving in 13 minutes on Track 666!

LOL!

[TXlib]

93. I'm going to have to whistle "Always Look On the Bright Side of Life"

As I leave the theater.

[Seldona]

95. Why is he white?

LOL

That would be mine.

In fact I am now thinking of going just to use that one.

Thanks. :evilgrin:

[BurtWorm]

99. "You go, Jesus girlfriend!"

[jeffsurfus]

"No soup for you! Come back, one year!"

Gratuitous Seinfeld reference

[Paragon]

101. "Magdalene's got a GREAT RACK!"

[WilliamPitt]

102. Did someone say "crown of porns?"

Bow chicka bow bow!

[VelmaD]

104. Wow, you weren't kidding...

about being high on the passion of the Lord Jeebus, were ya? ;-)

Better stop that or you could go blind.

[underpants]

103. Hey is that Ringo?

[The_Gopher]

105. "Who wants some hotdogs from concessions?"

[Westegg]

106. And of course: "That's GOTTA hurt!"

[Paragon]

111. dupe

me, #89

[ronnykmarshall]

107. OMIGAWD! He's soooooooo the cutiest Jesus EVER!

[VelmaD]

110. nuh-uhn...

the Jesus in "Jesus Christ Superstar" was SO WAY TOTALLY cuter.

[BurtWorm]

112. "If they don't stop whipping him right now, I swear,

I'm gonna come all over!"

[alittlelark]

143. sick

sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick :evilgrin:

[underpants]

109. Sooo the guys who run the pizza joint used to have an EMPIRE?!?!?!?

equal opportunity

[GumboYaYa]

114. Well hell, I feel like doin some sinnin now.

[jpak]

115. Hey - they just killed the Christ!!!

YOU BASTARDS!!!!

[BurtWorm]

117. "'E's not dead, 'e's restin'."

[BurtWorm]

204. "'E's pinin' for the fee-yords."

[WilliamPitt]

118. Jesus on the cross: "Screw you guys, I'm going home."

[Beetwasher]

116. OH! I Get It!! It Was A Set-Up and the Cop From Internal Affairs Was

in on it!

[ronnykmarshall]

119. Oh Jesus! I just broke a NAIL!

[matcom]

120. "Jesus! He Looks Like HELL!"

[WilliamPitt]

121. "Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the

lobby, to get outselves a treat!"

[VelmaD]

123. Which begs the question...

what movies are they showing previews for before "The Passion of the Christ"?

[WilliamPitt]

125. Lethal Weapon 5: Vengeance and Cock

was the title I saw displayed.

[VelmaD]

130. teehee

Woohoo - violence and sex...a surefire way to get my ass into the theater ;)

I'm not sure what's funnier...the name you came up with or the fact that the actual title of the next Lethal Weapon movie will likely be even worse.

[Beetwasher]

122. Damn! That Mary Chick Has Some Nice Cans! Ya Think J-Man Nailed Her?

n/t

[matcom]

124. "FINALLY! Who Wants To Go Sinnin'?"

[Beetwasher]

126. Jesus? His Name is Jesus? And all this time I've been saying Jebus!

n/t

[GOPisEvil]

127. Shit! I thought this was a porn movie!

[VelmaD]

131. You mean it isn't?

*confused look*

Blood?...check

Chains?...check

Whips?...check

Sounds like porn to me. :shrug:

[ronnykmarshall]

128. Answer your cell phone: Jesus Christ! STOP CALLING ME!

[TEXASYANKEE]

129. Why cannot you sign ze papers, old man?!

Any Cheech & Chong fans out there?

[ronnykmarshall]

133. Vould you like a zigarette?

[Twillig]

220. Oh wow, that didn't even hurt

What are you trying to do, tickle me?

:)

[matcom]

132. "THAT'S MY BUSH!"

[ronnykmarshall]

134. Jesus, Jesus, fo, Fesus, mananan, mo, Mesus .... JESUS!

[Beetwasher]

135. A Few Nails, A Little Whipping, Pffft! What's the Big Deal?

Whiner!

[snooper2]

136. You BASTARD! Jesus Killed Kenny!

:)

[matcom]

137. "What A Pussy!"

[matcom]

138. "Anyone Know The Number For 'Adam's Ribs'?"

from M*A*S*H*

[radwriter0555]

139. "I'm KING OF THE WORLD"!

n/t

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

140. "This is the WORST Andrew Lloyd Weber musical EVER!"

I'm cryin' here...y'all so funny, and everytime Mr. Pitt goes *wham wham wham* I just lose it.

[WilliamPitt]

142. O a British tar is a soaring soul, as free as a mountain bird...

*wham wham wham*

[VelmaD]

147. I'm never gonna be able to see this movie now...

without wondering when they're gonna burst into song.

I can just see me coming out of the theater now and turning to my best friend, "Ya know, the choreography was better in Jesus Chrsit Superstar".

[regnaD kciN]

226. I think Mr. Pitt has already lost it...

:eyes:

[Beetwasher]

141. Well, It's Not Like I Asked Him to Die For My Sins!

n/t

[Paragon]

144. "Why is Jesus's pain more important than any humans suffering?"

;-)

[Beetwasher]

145. Show-Off! Let Him Try That Stunt W/Out Being the Son of God!

His dad is ALWAYS there to bail him out...Resurrection indeed...

[wysimdnwyg]

146. "Hey! Isn't that the guy who got struck by lightning? Twice?"

Hey, what do I care. There is no God, there is no Hell. All you believers are the ones who will have to suffer eternal damnation. :evilgrin:

[libra]

155. Welll, you brought me out of lurking . . .

I don't remember when I have laughed so hard. You all are too funny!!! We are all going to burn in Hell!!!! Keep it coming . . .

[Paragon]

148. "Great hang time."

Jesus Christ, punter.

[jpak]

149. I hate it when that happens!!!

:)

[phrenzy]

150. Things to DO

A few other things to say (or do)

As Jesus is getting nailed do the 'Tomahawk Chop'

"Goooo Devil! , Come ooooon Devil!!"

"Ugh, Fight back you pussy! Think of what Jackie Chan could do with that cross as a weapon!!"

"Damn, I guess Aragon's whole 'KING' thing didn't work out too well"

"Do her Jesus! DO HER!!! YEEEEAH!"

Clap and pump fist when he is chosen instead of Barabass.

Yell 'Keep the money, idiot!' at Judas.

Cynically yell 'Yeah, right... Gimme a fucking BREAK!" when Jesus is resurrected.

[WilliamPitt]

151. Well, I'm nailed to a tree and dying in agony. But the good news is...

I just saved a lot of money by switching to Geiko.

[Paragon]

152. "Well, we'll never have to hear about that guy again."

D'oh!

[AlabamaYankee]

153. When's the sequel coming out?

[WilliamPitt]

156. Jesus II: Electric Boogaloo

[VelmaD]

160. Ok, that's too damn freaky...

we're sharing a brain or something :scared:

[VelmaD]

158. Jesus II: Electric Boogaloo

:evilgrin:

[WilliamPitt]

161. Beat you

:)

[VelmaD]

163. Promise?

;)

on edit: Ok, now I'm not sure what's freakier. That we made the same comment at the same time or that we made comments pointing that out at the same time. :)

[Beetwasher]

154. How Long Does this Go on For? Hurry up and Die Already! Yeesh!

I gotta haircut appointment to get to...

[Paragon]

157. "My kids were watching when his boob popped out at the end."

[GumboYaYa]

159. Geez, it's only an f%^$#&g movie; it's not like it really happened.

[Beetwasher]

162. OMG! I Think I Just Saw Jesus' Weiner!

n/t

[BurtWorm]

165. "Wow! He wasn't Jewish!"

[WilliamPitt]

164. Someone needs to post this thread over in Freepville

so we can watch them have collective apoplexy.

[VelmaD]

166. Yup...

someone's gonna need to build a bigger handbasket to fit us all in :)

[markses]

175. They'll catch an infarction

:-)

[Qutzupalotl]

167. " 'Of COURSE,' he says, 'Of COURSE I can put you up for the night.' "

:eyes:

[Beetwasher]

168. Hey! He Stole That Trick From Penn & Teller!

n/t

[phrenzy]

169. William Pitt's

LOL, WilliamPitt's Geico one is my fave so far - but I think it would be funnier like this:





GOD: Jesus, my son, I have some great news..

JESUS: I'm gonna be resurrected?

GOD: No. I just saved a bunch on car insurance by switching to Geico.

[Beetwasher]

170. The Secret to A Good Crucifiction is All in the Wrist

n/t

[wysimdnwyg]

171. "Hey, Pilate! Is that all you got?...

Bring it on, bee-yatch!"

[Qutzupalotl]

172. "Hey, Philip, would you mind scratching my nose?"

"That's it. Aaahhh."

[Beetwasher]

173. Jesus Saves! By Shopping at K-Mart!

n/t

[ronnykmarshall]

174. Wake me up at the good part.

[bleedingheart]

176. Welease Woddawick!

This thread has me in stitches...and here I am getting ready for the Lenten fish fry...

[Beetwasher]

177. Gretsky Shoots and JESUS SAVES!

The rookie from Nazareth get's a five minute penalty for Cross checking...

[WilliamPitt]

178. It puts the lotion on it's skin. It does this whenever it's told.

Yes it will, Precious! It will get the hose!

[Kamika]

179. "I bet that guy is gonna die"

:D


Or shout "BARABBAS BARABBAS" when Pilate asks who to set free :D

[Paragon]

180. "Hang in there, Jesus!!!"

:silly:

[alittlelark]

206. sick sick sick sick!!!!!!!!!!!

:evilgrin:

[Qutzupalotl]

181. "Coulda been worse....

Coulda made him sit through a Carrot Top routine."

[BurtWorm]

182. Oh, Christ! This isn't 50 First Dates!"

[BurtWorm]

184. "Hey! Where's Jim Carey!"

[BurtWorm]

186. "This would have been so much funnier if the Farrelly brothers made it."

[Paragon]

183. (WHIP) "Thank you, sir, may I have another?" (WHIP) "Thank you, sir..."

/burning

[KamaAina]

192. I say Whip it! Whip it good!

</devo>

[matcom]

185. "How Would Martha Stewart Get Blood Stains Out Of A Cross?"

:shrug:

[VelmaD]

187. Well, my guess would be you rub that stain out with...

a piece of the Shroud of Turin dipped in Holy Water.

[POed_Ex_Repub]

190. "Psst.. Don't worry, I hear they bring him back in the sequel"

*Crouches down in a fetal position for protection*

[chiburb]

191. "He's dead? Don't worry, Mary's pregnant again"!

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

194. "Orwell was wrong. Two minutes is not enough." (nt)

[warrior1]

196. FREEEEEDDDOOOOOMMMMM

Oh sorry wrong movie..

[ironflange]

195. Hey! You up there!

Could you cross your feet please? We have only one nail left!

[BurtWorm]

198. "Thank Lucifer we're Satanists, kids!"

[Blue_State_Elitist]

199. haha

"What kind of a Christian nutcase would like this shit" (theater filled with nuts)

[BurtWorm]

202. "WWJD? Get the crap kicked out of him!"

[TXlib]

205. If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning...

[VOX]

207. "We'll always have Golgotha."

"We didn’t have it, we’d lost it until you came to the Crucifixion. We got it back this afternoon."

Mary: When I said I would never leave you.

Jesus: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of a savior and two little thieves don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now...Here's looking at you kid."

[Jade Fox]

208. "I'll be back...." a la the Grope-inator

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

209. "Damn, I hate it when that happens. Have you ever been

cleaning your ear with a screwdriver when someone hits your elbow? I really hate that too."

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

210. That reminds me, I need to get my nails done.

[Johnyawl]

211. Somebody could get a LADDER...

...and a pair of PLIERS, here!


Stealing lines from the late great Sam Kineson.

[aldian159]

213. "of all the crosses in all the world, you had to nail me to this one"

[elperromagico]

215. "Damn it, this isn't Deep Throat!"

Yell out, "Look out, Jesus!" just before the nails are driven in. Then say, "Oh, that's got to hurt!" in a sportscaster voice.

[Rabrrrrrr]

216. Oh, God, if only that were Shrub!!

Bet that would turn some heads.

[ScreamingMeemie]

217. "Remember, it's only a MOVIE."

:hi:

[Cassandra]

218. Just wait for the director's cut on DVD...

More blood!

[aldian159]

219. "Hate to be his HMO"

[underpants]

221. YOU GUYS ARE KILLING ME!

That is towards everyone who responded.

Too tooooooooo funny. A DU classic.

I have accepted him as my savior but I don't hold it against anybody.

Long live Jesus.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

222. Don't cry, Hon. The Xtians get the power next and they BURN people at the

stake! It's just as sadistic as a Crucifixion!

[NightTrain]

223. "How does he eat M&Ms with those holes in his hands?"

n/t

[Jade Fox]

224. I've fallen and I can't get up!

[twistedliberal]

228. "Well, for Christ's sake, will this whipping end soon?"

[Generic Other]

229. Can ya speed it up? The sooner we get this over with the sooner

I can come back as Rev. Moon.

[Hammie]

230. "Let me tell you how it ends"

[Hammie]

231. The beatings will continue until morale improves

[Piperay]

232. This is awful, you all made me

laugh so hard that I am literally in pain...ROTFLMFAO!! :bounce:

[fujiyama]

233. Frodo Lives!!!

[phrenzy]

234. As he's carrying the cross..

Start doing the 'we will rock you' thing from football games.

Stomp stomp CLAP - stomp stomp CLAP -

[pagerbear]

235. Ho-sanna, hey-sanna, sanna, sanna, ho-sanna....

hey sanna, ho-san-na!
Hey JC, JC, would you die for me?
Sanna, ho-sanna, hey superstar!

[matcom]

238. Tonight, On Trading Spaces.....

:bounce:

[underpants]

240. Funny that they chose to use a cross, huh?

:bounce:

[matcom]

241. Jeff, i gotta tell you

this thread ranks right up there with the "I'm more patriotic than YOU" thread

:thumbsup:

[underpants]

245. I just provide the canvas, what they do w/ the lamb's blood is up to them

Yeah this is pretty funny.

[Beetwasher]

251. A DU Instant Classic!

Bravo!!

[underpants]

242. I think Buddha could take him

:bounce:

[underpants]

243. I got 5 bucks on the guys with the swords and the whips

[underpants]

244. It's gonna be kinda odd if they hand him an Oscar next year

False Idols. I actually had a boss of the "Promise Keepers" crowd who passed out a letter from some wingnut writer comparing the evil satanic HOLLYWOOD to those who worship false idols.....it was his company so he could do what he wanted. He was/is surely a "Pioneer" as he left our national convention in DC to drive back here (Richmond) to have dinner with Gov.Gilmore, Poppa Bush, and W this was back in '99.

[matcom]

246. "SHIT! I'm Out Of Twizzlers."

[Dogmudgeon]

247. Top of the World, Ma!

Top of the world!

--bkl
BOOM!

[chiburb]

248. "I knew I shouldn't have supported Dean"....

[Dogmudgeon]

249. And singing their hosannahs ...

--bkl
Props to Joel and Alex Veitch

[Whitacre D_WI]

250. "They've got a pepper bar!"