God Hates Shrimp!

[Archae]

Just look here...

God Hates Shrimp
Shrimp, crab, lobster, clams, mussels, all these are an abomination before the Lord, just as gays are an abomination. Why stop at protesting gay marriage? Bring all of God's law unto the heathens and the sodomites. We call upon all Christians to join the crusade against Long John Silver's and Red Lobster. The name of Bubba shall be anathema.

Leviticus 11:Nine-12 says:
9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

Deuteronomy 14:Nine-11 says:
9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.
11 Of all clean birds ye shall eat.



This site is a work of parody, done by Ryland Sanders, based on an original idea by Joe Decker (thanks, Joe!)
Yes, the protestor's sign is photoshopped. The original photo is here.



http://www.godhatesshrimp.com/

:D

[everythingsxen]

1. Yep...

That's right!

Goddamn shrimp!

[aquart]

2. They probably didn't mean shrimp.

The eating prohibitions were traditionally against sacred animals. I don't know of any culture that worshipped shellfish. It's entirely possible the ancient Hebrews had never seen a shellfish.

From the description, they were most likely to have been prohibiting the eating of dolphins and porpoises. To this day, the very thought of eating one of them would make us physically ill, the taboo is so ingrained.

[tishaLA]

7. We (Jews) have a prohibition against shellfish

and I think ancient Jews had seen them. Observant Jews do not eat lobster, crab, oysters, or other mullusks.

[everythingsxen]

8. That is sooooo shellfish of you!

Ok, that was awful. It's 2 am.. whaddayawant?

[jmowreader]

13. They were worried about the Red Tide

Red tide is a microorganism in the water (I could look it up, but won't right now) that, if you harvest shellfish while it's in the area, will kill whoever eats the shellfish.

This is what I'm thinking:

11:1-3
And the LORD spake unto Moses and to Aaron, saying unto them,

Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, These are the beasts which ye shall eat among all the beasts that are on the earth.

Whatsoever parteth the hoof, and is clovenfooted, and cheweth the cud, among the beasts, that shall ye eat.

Beef is a fairly safe choice; you can eat it raw (well, you could before the Streamlined Meat Processing System came about) and not get injured. So that's okay.

11:4-8
Nevertheless these shall ye not eat of them that chew the cud, or of them that divide the hoof: as the camel, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.

And the coney, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.

And the hare, because he cheweth the cud, but divideth not the hoof; he is unclean unto you.

And the swine, though he divide the hoof, and be clovenfooted, yet he cheweth not the cud; he is unclean to you.

Of their flesh shall ye not eat, and their carcase shall ye not touch; they are unclean to you.

Here we're worried about parasites, trichina worms and the like.

11:9
These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.

These fish are safe to eat, or at least the ones that lived in the Bible Lands were.

11:10-11
And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:

They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.

No shellfish, no crustaceans, no eels. Probably no catfish either, although most siluriformes are predators, not scavengers. The most serious predator? Chaca chaca, quite possibly the ugliest fucking fish on the face of the planet.

11:12
Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

11:13-20
And these are they which ye shall have in abomination among the fowls; they shall not be eaten, they are an abomination: the eagle, and the ossifrage, and the ospray,

And the vulture, and the kite after his kind;

Every raven after his kind;

And the owl, and the night hawk, and the cuckow, and the hawk after his kind,

And the little owl, and the cormorant, and the great owl,

And the swan, and the pelican, and the gier eagle,

And the stork, the heron after her kind, and the lapwing, and the bat.

All fowls that creep, going upon all four, shall be an abomination unto you.

Yet these may ye eat of every flying creeping thing that goeth upon all four, which have legs above their feet, to leap withal upon the earth;

Note: every fowl you can't eat is either a scavenger or a predator. Exceptionally useful creatures in solving the rat, mouse, mole, vole and mosquito problem.

11:22-24
Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.

But all other flying creeping things, which have four feet, shall be an abomination unto you.

And for these ye shall be unclean: whosoever toucheth the carcase of them shall be unclean until the even.

Lots of protein in those insects that are okay to eat.

Okay, I'm gonna stop now. Truth be told, Leviticus was a public-health document as much as anything. They didn't know why people got sick and died from handling rat carcasses; now we know rat fleas transmit diseases. They didn't know why people died from eating shellfish; now we know about the red tide. But they did know that it was better to let the buzzards come in and eat the rat carcasses than it was to haul them off and get killed by the unclean humours emanating from them.

And it's much easier to to make people believe God's gonna kick their asses if they eat this stuff than it is to come up with scientific mumbo-jumbo.

[Vernunft II]

3. I enjoy sodomy and so does my wife, hehe.

Can´t we drop all this superstition already ?

[I AM SPARTACUS]

4. God loves all his creatures...thus, he created scampi...

[JasonDeter]

5. Old Testament dietary Laws

were for Jews and Jewish proselytes only. In the New Testament in reference to the new Christians God declared all foods clean and allowable for Jews to eat. Jesus changed everything by His resurrection. Anything else on this subject is a misguided attempt to use the Bible to further a lifestyle choice that cannot be justifed using any part of the Bible.

btw, anyone know how to block this kind of thread so I don't see them anymore? I tire of the subject.

[everythingsxen]

6. Theres no blocking "this kind of thread"

however you can click the little box next to the thread and ignore that particular thread.

[JasonDeter]

12. Thanks. nm

nm

[truthspeaker]

9. that's your interpretation

But I've talked to Christians who say the dietary laws are null and void, as are the laws about how to sacrifice animals to please the lord, but the laws on homosexuality are still valid.

And I've talked to other Christians who say none of Leviticus is binding on Christians.

There's no cut and dried answer.

[JasonDeter]

10. Christ's sacrifice on the Cross made getting to heaven very simple

The requirments are as follows:
Romans 10: 9-10.

All the Old Testament requirments for a person to follow to get to heaven were voided EXCEPT the one that said, "But a righteous man shall live by faith."

[Bridget Burke]

11. There are plenty of Christians who use Leviticus

against homosexuals.

But they ignore the other rules.

[ScreamingMeemie]

14. Great, I guess I'm going to Hell.

:(